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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Another paranoid, overwinded orgasm question with way too much information

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Author Topic: Another paranoid, overwinded orgasm question with way too much information
dark-blue
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Ok, so this is one of those paranoid me-me-me questions, but I'm a natural worrier and it's driving me to despair.

Basically, I'm a 18-yo virgin and have never had an orgasm, but not through lack of trying. I've always been very curious about sex and sexuality, never had any qualms about masturbation, and have become a frequent reader of erotica.
A few months ago the frustration peaked, and I bought myself a Rabbit (platinum, to be specific), and remained frustrated.
Darn.
I wouldn't say it has no effect on me, it does, buckling knees and all, but whenever it feels like it starts getting intense, I panic and switch it off. I don't think I've ever given that Rabbit more than 5 minutes of my time.

I've got several hundred theories (such as being difficult to please, or needing a situation with human touch rather than rotating synthetic goods); one of the more prominent ones being that I... this is awkward to say, but I think I'm scared that in my desperation to release I will forgo all muscle control and - to be crude, because I can't find a good metaphor - piss myself.
Great.

It's a nagging insecurity, and made much worse by the recent acquisition of my first boyfriend. I always assumed I'd be the sort of person that would wait for months on end, but apparently not...


I'm not sure if this is just me venting, or if I expect any replies. It just feels like it's a good idea to get it out, no matter how embarrassing and insignificant a situation it is.

Cheers.

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Posts: 3 | From: London | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ASargent42
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Have you gone to the bathroom and emptied your bladder beforehand? Then there would be no urine left to empty. At the very least, you could try it in the privacy of your bathroom. At least then you would know what happens when you orgasm, for future reference.

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Amanda
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ErinK
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It's also pretty unlikely for you to pee yourself during orgasm. Just sayin'.
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dark-blue
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I figured as much. But y'know, an idea plants itself into your mind and won't bloody well leave.

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Mortality
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Shower heads work pretty good for masturbation as well, and if you're in the shower it won't be too horrible if you would pee yourself.
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ocarina
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So, are you just worried that you're going to urinate, or do you actually feel like you HAVE to urinate? Some women feel like they have to pee just before they come. (I'm one of them, and that lovely little sensation kept me from getting there for a solid year before I found out what it was!)
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Pasquelene
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quote:
Originally posted by Mortality:
Shower heads work pretty good for masturbation as well, and if you're in the shower it won't be too horrible if you would pee yourself.

Shower heads [Confused]

as in penetration with the actual shower head or what? sounds a bit violent to me

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JamsessionVT
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Pasquelene, some women use the water flow of a showerhead or faucet to stimulate their genitals. Penetration would be nearly impossible, unsanitary and dangerous.

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Abbie
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Mortality
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quote:
Originally posted by Pasquelene:
quote:
Originally posted by Mortality:
Shower heads work pretty good for masturbation as well, and if you're in the shower it won't be too horrible if you would pee yourself.

Shower heads [Confused]

as in penetration with the actual shower head or what? sounds a bit violent to me

Not really ^^ As JamsessionVT it's the water flow that's being used^^
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jumpsturdy
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I'm not sure if you're experiencing the same sensation that I sometimes do, but the buckling knees and urgent desire to stop sort of sound like how I feel when my clitoris get TOO stimulated.

I had a boyfriend once who would put one finger directly on my clit and rub way too hard, and it was so intense that it actually wasn't pleasurable. I prefer more generalized pressure. And the sensation was a little bit like having to pee.

I don't know if that's the situation, but maybe you are over-stimulating your clit. Maybe try a different method of masturbation?

I know this is sort of unusual, but to get the right kind of pressure, I will sometimes straddle the side of my bathtub and move forward and back in a humping sort of motion. Feel free to ignore that option if it seems too wierd to you. Just sayin'.

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wyntermidnite
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I often feel like I have to pee to during sexual activities, so I make it a habit to always use the bathroom beforehand, and if I am engaged in it for more than an hour or so I usually have to stop and take a bathroom break again. It can get annoying but I have found that if I feel bladder pressure I have a much harder time orgasming.

I also have a rabbit and mine has speeds, when I have it on high speed and feel over sensitized I take it to the lower setting and let myself rest a bit. In fact, now that I think about it, I take lots of stimulation breaks during mastrubation so that it doesn't become too much. Maybe if you just set aside 10 minutes of time where you would touch yourself and when it became too much rest until it isn't unpleasant and try again. Add 5 minutes to the session maybe once a week and build up your stamina to pleasure.

I find that learning to control the stimulation and cope with it is very important, and can take a good amount of time. So that by the time you have worked up to 30 or 40 minutes in a session(or whatever works for your body) you will have built up with stimulation and had breaks and be able to orgasm.

I hope everything works well for you, I know having orgasm problems can be so frustrating on so many different levels, so don't give up!

Posts: 70 | From: Fullerton, CA, USA | Registered: Jul 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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