Me and my boyfriend have been getting alot closer lately, and trying new things.Neither of us have ever been with another partner,and we've been together for over a year. Anyways, my problem is that i dont want him to see me without clothes on. I guess for me it would be embarassing to be completely exposed or i'm scared that he wouldnt like what he sees. What are some ways that you can overcome fear of being embarassed?
-------------------- ~Smiley~ =) Posts: 169 | From: usa | Registered: Jun 2007
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Firstly, you should not do anything that you're uncomfortable with. If you feel uncomfortable, then the experience is more likely to be negative, and result in the embarrassment that you're afraid of.
Now, you say you've been with your boyfriend a year, so I'm guessing he's probably already got a pretty good idea of what your body is like. If he was the sort of guy to make judgements about your body type, then he wouldn't be worth your time, of course-- but I am going to assume, for now, that he's NOT making those judgements, and that you're just dealing with your own internalised issues here.
One thing that's important to remember is that there are many stages between "fully clothed" and "fully naked" and it's totally okay to take this in stages, if this is indeed what you want. For instance, you could try petting underneath your top, before removing it. Removing your T-shirt doesn't mean removing your bra, etc. The important thing is that you are comfortable at each stage.
Of course, another important thing is for you to communicate with your boyfriend about this. Tell him about your concerns, but also make it clear that for you to be comfortable, you need to take this as your own pace-- sometimes well meaning partners can say "I love your body" and think that after that, their partner should be fully confident, but of course the issue is far more complex. You need to make it clear that becoming comfortable with less clothes on is a process for you, and YOU set the pace of that process. (Of course, your partner may have similar issues, but you won't know that until you ask him).
Ultimately, trust your instincts-- when the time is right for you to be naked with a partner, you will feel good about doing so. Sometimes our reservations about being naked can result from body image issues, but other times it can be about just not being ready. Another advantage of taking things step by step, is that you can assess your readiness at each stage. So take it slow, enjoy things, and communicate with your partner.
Posts: 2710 | From: Australia | Registered: Jun 2000
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