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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » how can i tell my bf that i dont want to do anything any more..

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Author Topic: how can i tell my bf that i dont want to do anything any more..
alejandragaga
Neophyte
Member # 34277

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maybe im just a paranoic person, im pretty sure i am tons of people have told me that, but after this pregnancy scare i dont want to do anything more.. i know that my bf he will get mad because we have been together for years and he sais that we are ready, but after a pregnancy risk im pretty sure im not ready to do anything, the past days they have been like hell for me all i want is to have my period and being a good person again, i love him i really do, but i dont wanna get pregnant, so i guees im gonna need to choose btwn him and my virginty,, im a looser rigth? we have been together for 2 years or more and i know he is going to hate me but i know its for the best, should i just break up with him? or should i explain him everything?
Posts: 27 | From: mexico | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
acs79
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Member # 33994

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To put it bluntly: If your boyfriend will really force you to choose between him and what you want in terms of sex, then you are better off without him.

That said, don't end things before you really have a heart-to-heart discussion with him. You aren't ready for sex, and if he really loves you and cares about YOU, then he will accept that. He says that you two are ready, but you obviously don't feel that way; sex is about both of you, and it is not a way to prove that you love someone.

So, in other words, if you don't want to have sex, don't have it until you really do. There are other ways that the two of you can enjoy your relationship, from physical intimacy to emotional. There are also less risky ways to get physical--only do what you are truly comfortable with and what you are prepared for. Talk to your boyfriend, and don't change your mind just because it's what he wants. It's what you want that counts.

[ 06-19-2007, 04:57 PM: Message edited by: acs79 ]

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Beppie
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The thing is, your boyfriend doesn't get to tell you if YOU are ready-- only you can say if you are ready, and it's clear that you don't want to have sex at the moment. And honestly, if he reacts badly to this, particularly if he's trying to dictate your sexual readiness, there's quite an unhealthy sexual dynamic between you and that needs to be resolved if you're to have a good relationship. I know it's hard, if you've been with him a long time, but if he's engaging in behaviour like that, and would try to make you feel bad about not having sex, perhaps the relationship isn't worth holding onto.
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alejandragaga
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yes i guess that i am going to talk with him but im scared to fall again in a situation like this, seriously im so depressed i havent eat like in days, and i dont sleep, my mom says that im overeacting and my bf he just dont care he says im way to crazy, when i try to talk with him about that day he says that im worryng to much and gets mad, i dont want to be like this i dont want to ruin my relationship with him , i cant believe it its summer time i should be super happy.. but no.. im super depressed..
Posts: 27 | From: mexico | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
alejandragaga
Neophyte
Member # 34277

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and i've been thinking a lot.. im going to break up with him after getting my period, i need some time to think about everything
Posts: 27 | From: mexico | Registered: Jun 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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