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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Depressed? Confused? Someone please help me.

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Author Topic: Depressed? Confused? Someone please help me.
Jill G
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Member # 33485

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I don't know where to put this, but this seems like the best place. I just need help... although I know most likely theres nothing anyone can do.

For the last few months - I'm going to say it began around November as well as I can remember - there has been something wrong with me. I am usually a very optimistic person and yet this year all I seem to be doing is expecting the worst, and feeling just awful all the time no matter what. It didn't start off so horribly but now, months later, it has gotten to the point where my emotions are making my life unbearable.

Monday-Friday I am MISERABLE. And I'm not talking about "oh school sucks, I'm stressed and sad" miserable, I mean I am crying every night, without fail as soon as everyone is asleep and I don't know WHY!

Its my junior year, school is hard, college searching is stressful, and I did just lose a relative but I can't help but feel that my reactions are not normal. Mostly because they aren't reactions to anything, I can have the best day ever and still be filled with this constant self-doubt and overwhelming sadness, without fail each night.

I tried therapy (THREE different therapists this year - one wanted to put me on drugs so my mom pulled me out, one THOUGHT I was on drugs [I am not.] and one who said there was nothing wrong with me and no point in continuing) to no avail. The only thing that brings me some relif is the time I spend with my boyfriend each weekend, but even his patience is wearing thin and it is not healthy regardless that the only time I feel calm anymore is around him.

I just feel like everyone has these expectations of me that I can't reach. I feel overwhelmed and confused and so scared. I want to be me again.Can anyone help me figure out how?

(Sorry if that made little sense - I tried)

Posts: 8 | From: NJ | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Takibi
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I'm going to begin by saying, I am by no means a mental health specialist, or in any position of expertise. But what you are saying sounds eerily similar to something I had to deal with a couple of years ago.

You sound like you might be suffering from depression.

Even though I hate to throw pills at problems, you should discuss taking a SSRI, a Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitor, which is a medicine that balances out the levels of Serotonin and Norepinephrine, which are the believed cause of depression. They are generally safer than other anti-depressants, cause less dependence, and don't interact quite so dangerously with other drugs, though some teens may be affected adversely by these.

Your only other medical alternative is Tricyclic anti-depressants, these are generally very potent and dangerous drugs, which I wouldn't suggest, as they cause heart problems and have several other undesirable side-effects.

If you are not willing to take medication, well, have you considered Tae-Kwon Do, or some recreational activity to help you release stress? You might be surprised.

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Your sexuality is not the only facet of your personality, only one among infinitely many variables. Gay, straight, or bisexual, it doesn't matter, we're all people, who love and want to be loved.

Posts: 8 | From: Houston, Texas, USA | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jill G
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Member # 33485

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Thank you for your quick and informative response! Unfortunatley my parents are not in favor of medications at all - my brother is already on massive amounts of medication for certain genetic issues and I just don't think they want to deal with it.

I have done yoga before though and felt very relaxed... so while I can't take your advice in terms of medications but my mission this week will be to get my gym membership unfrozen and resume the yoga-ing =P

I feel better right now anyways, its weird... it kinda comes in waves.

Posts: 8 | From: NJ | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LFH
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Member # 33487

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Depression was my first thought, too. I am also not a mental health specialist, but depression is something I struggle with, myself.

First talk to your doctor, and see what he/she says. If your doctor also feels that what you have is depression, then perhaps get him/her to talk to your parents about medications. If your parents still won't allow it, then there are other options to look in to.

The first has already been suggested. Learn to love exercise. Yoga is good, and my counselor recommends walking/jogging for me. You'll find something that works for you, I'm sure, though.

Also, I can't stress enough how helpful counseling can be. You could try a psychiatrist, but my suggestion would be a psychologist, social worker, or something like that. Psychiatrists give medications; psychologists, etc, aren't doctors, and thus they don't have the authority to prescribe anything. They deal with you on a personal level, and work with you to find other, non-medicinal ways to deal with what you're going through. Your family doctor might be able to recommend someone for you; if not, try talking to guidance counselors at your school, or something, and see if they can suggest anyone. (I'm assuming you're in high school; if you're in university, like me, there might be a counseling centre right on campus, anyway.) Search around until you find someone you're comfortable with, and I assure you, it'll help. Counselors, no matter what degree of expertise they have, are awesome people.

Finally, are your parents in objection to other treatments that don't involve pills? Things like massage therapy, for instance. There are also other naturopathic remedies that might be available to you- ranging from herbal supplements to aromatherapy, to who knows. Do your homework on this stuff, though; not all of it has any scientific backing that proves that it actually works, so you'll want to look into it before shelling out the cash for that particular treatment.

And if you just wanna talk, feel free to PM me, or something. One thing I've discovered is that people with depression are really, really good at understanding what other people with depression are going through- better than people without depression, I've found. We "get it" more. Just want to leave that option open to you, in case you ever need it. [Smile]

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Liberal Feminist Hippie

Posts: 22 | From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Leabug
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(Hey LFH- just a little FYI: we actually have private messaging disabled on the boards to protect our users. Feel free to talk about it on the boards though! [Smile] )

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Lea

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LFH
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Member # 33487

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Oh. Well, never mind, then.

Offer still stands, though, Jill G- if you want to talk, let me know, and I can give you my e-mail address, instead. [Smile]

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Liberal Feminist Hippie

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ladydexter
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(Sharing email addresses is also forbidden, LFH, to protect users. But this thread is a fine place to talk, ne?)
Posts: 336 | From: Manchester, UK | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LFH
Neophyte
Member # 33487

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Well, never mind, then.

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Liberal Feminist Hippie

Posts: 22 | From: Canada | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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