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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » I HATE my period and I want it GONE! (Page 2)

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Author Topic: I HATE my period and I want it GONE!
Dark_Snake
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I hate the idea of making it blatantly apparent that I'm on my period. By that I mean having stained sheets/underwear or having a trash can full of discarded pads. Every time I'm on my period, I check every time I sit down to make sure that I didn't leak and I pay special attention to the sheets when I wake up in the morning since my b/f's sheets are white. My own sheets are black so I never had to worry about it at my own house. My sheets used to be white when I was younger, but then I started my period and I have always leaked a lot in the mornings when I am getting up because my flow is really heavy when I wake up, and my mom would make rude comments about it when she would wash my sheets. It made me really embarassed and so I got my dad to start buying me black sheets.

When I'm with my boyfriend, I can't stand the idea of having stained underwear, whether it be from discharge or my period. I constantly change underwear when I anticipate that he's going to be around a lot. My blood always runs cold when he says that he's doing our laundry and I know that I am on/just got off my period and haven't done my laundry yet. I don't know if he's ever seen them but I would hate it if he did, and I don't really know why. I don't think I'd be able to look him in the eye for a few days afterwards. It's probably because I'm afraid he'd say the same sorts of things that my mother used to when she'd wash them. I take every possible precaution to prevent leaks but I still get them and it makes me feel like a slob (like the types of people that you see with spaghetti sauce and barbeque all over their shirts like they don't even care).

My b/f loves to do things to me in bed almost more than me loves me doing things to him, so whenever I'm on my period I feel like I'm taking something away from him. I don't know if he'd ever want to do anything while I'm on it, but I don't think I'd let him. I'd be way too self-conscious. I can't go out with him and do things like go to bars or play basketball or whatever because I get absolutely excruciating cramps for 1-3 days every time. Most of the time medicene won't even calm them. It makes me feel like a party-pooper to everyone.

I'd definitely rather not have them at all, but it still wouldn't stop people from saying that I'm "PMSing" or "ragging" every time I get angry (I *REALLY* hate that word. The last time a guy told me I was "ragging", I knocked one of his teeth out - literally. The worst part was when everyone who was watching went "S***, she really is ragging then.") I think accusing a girl of PMSing when she is not is one of the rudest and most insulting things you can say to a girl. That's like saying that a guy is just frustrated because he has ED when he gets mad. It's almost like people assume that a woman is supposed to be tranquil and docile at all other times of the month and then a furious beast for those few days.

It all just irritates me.

Edit: I'd also like to add that I'm anemic, and my body seems to have no sympathy for that in terms of length/flow, so I usually end up being very dizzy for the duration of my period. Which sucks. A lot.

[ 07-07-2007, 10:10 PM: Message edited by: Itami139 ]

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spicedudette
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I feel a lot better about my period since I began using a Moon Cup. Some of my friends thing its gross and dirty (yes, those are the exact words they use) but being able to know the amount of bleeding and the different kinds of flow and blood gives me a strange sense of empowerment.

And the idea that I'm not advancing teh global doom by filling up landfills with pads or tampons feels great.

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missholly13
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I HATE my period. I never used to, because i never used to get such bad cramps. But this year, my period started really getting me down. On the first few days of it, I get cold sweats, nausea, diarreah and dizzyness.I'm near to vomiting. That's not to mention the horrible,horrible cramps.

Ugh, Once I skipped my period for eight months though, probably because I wasn't eating alot. I find It really easy to loose weight, and If I'm not careful to keep my weight up my peiod dissapears. But I know that's not healthy, so at least in a sad way I know my body is healthy when I get my period,although It's the time of the month I feel at my sickest.I am considering going on B/C pills to regulate my cycle and hopefully stop these terrible cramps. I don't like surviving solely on my jar of painkillers for a week.

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not_a_hobgoblin
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How do you really feel about your period? How do you feel about yourself and your body during your period?
*I hate having to deal with the mess... I have to be really careful when I throw away my pads so my cat doesn't get into the trash can (ick!), and I HATE staining my pretty underwear. I also hate having to deal with cramps; I get bad cramps every time, and every third time or so I am quite literally immobliized unitl I get a break and can take some Naproxen. I generally get very lethargic, and that can be obnoxious sometimes. But it's good, I guess, to know that hey, I'm working, I'm healthy, I'm rebooting my ovarian operating system. So there's that.


• Do you feel differently about it when you're sexually active and with partners than you do alone?

*Not sexually active

• If you hate it, or it grosses you out, etc., why? If you hate it, can you address things that might contribute to you hating it (like, for instance, growing up with bad attitudes about it, other body image problems you may have, misogyny in general, etc.)?

*I grew up with very healthy body image attitudes and such... I like being in control of my body. Having it do things without my permission is not fun. And since I'm so absentminded, I'm almost always the one who forgets and stains her underwear or forgets to take her pain meds and then is trying to not curl up and keep paying attention in French class... try explaining why you need to go to the nurse to a foreign, male teacher sometime.


• If you're sexually active, how do your partners feel about it/treat your period?

*I am not sexually active with my girlfriend right now, but we do talk about our periods, which is kind of fun- she teases me about all of my symptoms because she almost never gets any. :-P

• If you do suppress your period, why do you do this, how often, etc?

*Haven't surpressed my period

• If you do NOT suppress your period, but do want to or would want to, why?

*I can imagine it coming at a really bad time; let's say a big dance, or something in particular in which staining your clothes would be a huge deal- and skipping it. Or if my partner was grossed out but it was our anniversary or something. I don't know. It would freak me out, though.

• Whatever your feelings about your period are, how do you think those feelings may or may not influence how you feel as a whole about your body, your sex and/or gender?

*I feel like it tends to make females a little more aware of our bodies than males... I don't know.

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someposter2008
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• How do you really feel about your period? How do you feel about yourself and your body during your period?

I hate my period. I don't feel any different about myself really during it, but I do feel like I can't control my body and I don't like it. I hate the mess. I hate having to stand over the sink scrubbing my underwear clean of blood. I hate getting cramps, having to eat less so I can pay for my pads (I'm a teenager and use my lunch money), and the fact that I'm bleeding out of my freaking vagina.

• If you hate it, or it grosses you out, etc., why? If you hate it, can you address things that might contribute to you hating it (like, for instance, growing up with bad attitudes about it, other body image problems you may have, misogyny in general, etc.)?

I don't hate it because of body image issues. I don't feel ashamed or even disgusted. What I hate is being so interrupted. I mean, the cramps and bleeding and everything else every month exist for what? So I can be a successful receptacle for somebody's sperm and have children! (There may be marginal health benefits but this is the primary reason.) I don't want children at this point. I basically hate the inconvenience and pain that serves me little to no purpose.

And I also hate being accused of being "on the rag" or PMSing when I get angry. I mean, what if I am? I didn't choose it! Men are such pigs about it. I, and almost every other woman in the world, have to have cramps, bleeding, involuntary mood swings (the hormones aren't our fault!), bloating, pain, and so many other unpleasant symptoms so they can impregnate us and then they think that far worse than our suffering is the fact that they have to live in the same world as we do. It's so unfair.

• If you do NOT suppress your period, but do want to or would want to, why?

I hate the physical symptoms and having my life interrupted. I shouldn't have to deal with something that causes me pain and serves me almost no purpose right now. People say that periods are natural so they shouldn't be suppressed, but so are a lot of things. Men with high blood pressure get ED as they age, but no one gives a second thought of them altering their bodies so they can have sex with their wives or girlfriends. Although the ED is natural and doesn't really harm them, they take the drugs so they can have pleasure. I want to take menstrual suppression drugs so as to avoid displeasure.

• Whatever your feelings about your period are, how do you think those feelings may or may not influence how you feel as a whole about your body, your sex and/or gender?

I don't really think they do much, except I think it's another way women are forced to suffer more than men.

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Leabug
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(Someposter, I just want to remind you that at Scarleteen we do not support generalizations- particularly ones based upon gender. Not all men are "pigs", and such derogatory statements are not welcome here.)

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Wynter
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Hey. I'm a new member here, so hi! *waves*

-How do you really feel about your period? How do you feel about yourself and your body during your period?
I hate my period. Its so inconvinient and annoying- I have heavy leaks and I hate it when the blood leaks through all my clothes. Its EMBARRASSING! Periods have practically been the cause of all my most horrible embarrassing moments....
As for my actual body... I don't notice any difference...


• Do you feel differently about it when you're sexually active and with partners than you do alone?
I'm not sexually active so I wouldn't be able to tell you.


• If you hate it, or it grosses you out, etc., why? If you hate it, can you address things that might contribute to you hating it (like, for instance, growing up with bad attitudes about it, other body image problems you may have, misogyny in general, etc.)?
Its probably got a lot to deal with other people. I hate talking about periods, let alone have them. Its embarrasing and I hate other people's reactions.

• If you do NOT suppress your period, but do want to or would want to, why?
I wasn't actually aware you could suppress your period until now... I guess I'd want to. In order to prevent the mess....

• Whatever your feelings about your period are, how do you think those feelings may or may n ot influence how you feel as a whole about your body, your sex and/or gender?
Well.... periods are another why I don't like being a girl... but I wouldn't want to change my gender.

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Heather
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(Just FYI? Sounds to me like your complaints have a lot more to do with how much most menstrual PRODUCTS suck than with menses itself.

So, to make your life a lot easier, and ditch leaks, you might want to look outside the box of disposable pads and tampons. Most washable pads, for instance, in my experience, pretty much NEVER leak because they don't shift around the way disposables do, are made of better materials the absorb better, don't make you sweat more which can add insult to injury when it comes to leaks, etc.

And if you use tampons and have leaks, that's telling you that it's time to go a size up for your flow. or, better still you could look into a Divacup or Keeper, which work better than any tampons do.)

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fallchild
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I've been feeling pretty crappy about my period lately. I've been wanting to look into re-useable menstrual products (like Lunapads)because they're good for the environment and hey!, who doesn't like pads with polka dots on them? [Smile] But the other day I got so angry because I told my boyfriend that I wanted to switch, and as his face turned white he said, "Well...um...don't wash them with MY clothes." I looked at him like he was absolutely insane (which he was) and no matter how many times I told him that they'd obviously be rinsed out, he wouldn't budge. Not only is washing them separately economically impossible (we have no washing machine and that's just stupid to run a whole load at the laudromat for some freaking pads), but I got the familiar "unclean woman" feeling. We NEVER have sex while on my period, which I have mixed feelings about. On one hand, I would never want to make him do something sexual that he felt ookey about, but on the other, I wonder WHY he feels ookey... Basically I'm untouchable during my period (sexually). He even gets nervous going with me to buy pads or tampons. He looks over his shoulder all the time and bounces around like we're going to get attacked (in fact, the ONLY reason he was excited about Lunapads was because he wouldn't have to go to the store with me to buy pads anymore). Anyways, I'm getting really tired of it and after we had the lovely washing-machine conversation, I said, "You know what? You're dating a female. And all frilly words aside, 'GET THE **** OVER IT!!!"

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"It's better to die on your feet than live down on your knees"

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Narwhal
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Oh my gosh, Fallchild, my mom reacted the same way when I told her I was going to try Lunapads! Never mind that they'll be rinsed thoroughly: I can't put them in the washing machine with other laundry.

So I just soak mine and wash them by hand--it's a little more work, but it does get them clean.

I do like how you dealt with it with him, though. A male partner who just can't handle menstruation, at all, really isn't being very mature, or very fair. Personally, I'm ok with the "I don't want to get blood on my hands, so I'll just keep them out of your pants" position, but when it's " [Eek!] OMG MENSTRUAL PRODUCTS THE HORROR THE HORROR!!1!" Then yeah, he needs to accept that this is part of being with a female partner.

By the way, congrats on trying the cloth pads. I find them so much more comfortable. And pretty. [Big Grin]

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Inferi
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These are my recent feelings, now that I'm on the pill and all. Had you asked me beforehand, the only word to describe it would be "hate", in all caps, and probably followed by a nasty rant.

quote:
• How do you really feel about your period? How do you feel about yourself and your body during your period?
Nowdays, my period's not too bad, and I don't mind it too much (entirely different case from a year ago). I don't really feel any different about myself, either, though I'm never too thrilled if I end up horribly bloated looking.

quote:

• Do you feel differently about it when you're sexually active and with partners than you do alone?

Not really, I'm very frank with my boyfriend. I do tend to avoid intercourse a bit, since sometimes it ends up painful.

quote:
• If you hate it, or it grosses you out, etc., why? If you hate it, can you address things that might contribute to you hating it (like, for instance, growing up with bad attitudes about it, other body image problems you may have, misogyny in general, etc.)?
I'm neutral about my period. It's just a natural thing that happens, and at most, it's an inconveniance.

quote:
• If you're sexually active, how do your partners feel about it/treat your period?
Thankfully, he can be a mature adult about it, and like me, sees it as a natual thing my body does. He was even curious enough to ask for a DEMONSTRATION as to how tampons work. A little odd at the time, but at least it shows that he's not all grossed out about it.

quote:

• If you do suppress your period, why do you do this, how often, etc?

I do it every couple of months, say if I'm staying with my boyfriend that week, or going on vacation. Really, whenever I think it'll be too much of an inconvenience.

quote:
• Whatever your feelings about your period are, how do you think those feelings may or may n ot influence how you feel as a whole about your body, your sex and/or gender?
I think my just seeing a period as a natural happening of the body, and nothing to stress over anymore really gives me a good outlook about my body and sex since it's one less thing to fret about.
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I_know_I_can
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My reply might be a bit late... but thought I wanted to share a bit of my own thoughts and feelings.

quote:
• How do you really feel about your period? How do you feel about yourself and your body during your period?
N

I used to be OK when I was about 13-17. Then I got anorexia, and my period disappeared very quickly.
I didn't feel like a woman at all before I got anorexia. I got my period, but that was it.
When my period stopped, I didn't mind. At all. It was good, I felt. My body was finally the way I perceived it to be all along. Manly.
Also, having my period meant being healthy. In my head at least, because there are women with an ED that keep getting their period even when they are at a near-deathweight. But to me... having my period meant: being a woman again. Something I did not want to be, because in my head I never was.
After 2 years I gained some weight, got my period back, but my eating was screwed up. The first month I was happy. Everything still worked.
And my mom would stop asking me to see a doctor. I thought she didn't know about my ED and I could keep it a secret still. I never wanted to tell a doctor about my ED.
The second month I started to have major issues with it again. How could I be having my periods? That must have meant I was healthy... and I did NOT want to be healthy. So I started to lose weight again. And again, my period stopped.
However, after a year (I was 20 at the time) I started to eat healthier. Gained weight, period came back.
And it's now been about 3 full years that I eat healthy and normal again. And all these years, I have been able to see my period as a normal, OK thing. I don't like it when I have it, because it makes me insecure a bit. Will I leak? The premenstrual cramps, the bowelproblems right before my period starts and on the first day are really something I could do without.
I still wonder if my messing with food has caused the pain. I never had any pain when I was younger. I never knew I was having my period until I got it.
Now there can be days when I feel quite sick.

But it's part of me. I may not have much a female upperbody (I have a healthy weight now, but I can't find any bras my size, because all the cupsizes are too big. And the AA-cups are not big in enough around my chest. So it's either: get blue or wear a bra that's too big...)
but that's no reason to let my other female 'thing' stop as well. One does not have to do with the other.
(of course other issues were going on too, but this was a factor in my ED)

I am not with a partner and never have been, so I wouldn't know about how it feels if I'm involved with someone.
I still feel a little awkward buying pads or tampons. About having to say: erm, no I can't do this exam now, I'm having my period...I think I don't want other to know because it's about an intimate part of my body. And I have issues about that. Have had since I was a kid. I don't know why really, I just remember that whenever I had to undress and be in my underwear I was afraid that people either would laugh (I was 5...) or that they would do something to me.
It's not as bad as it has been, for different reasons. But it's still there. And I think I may not be fully comfortbale about it ever, but it's quite manageable most of the time.
And for me, that's good enough for now.

So anyway, my period is mine. And it's OK. It's part of who I am, part of something that nature gave me. And I have no intention of messing with it anymore. [Smile]

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libertatissacra
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• How do you really feel about your period? How do you feel about yourself and your body during your period?
Honestly? I hate it. My cramps have been a lot better since I went on birth control, but I still get some, and I'm sorry, but I've never been able to have warm fuzzy feelings about bleeding out of my vagina for a week. It's inconvenient. Having to be changing tampons/pads, stainng your favourite underwear,etc. Plus, the fact that blood and chunks of unerine lining are coming out of my girlpart really doesn't do much to make me fee pretty or sexy.

• Do you feel differently about it when you're sexually active and with partners than you do alone?
Not really. It doesn't bother my boyfriend to have sex while I'm on my period, so we just put a towel (or two) down and have our fun. I usually fee slightly disgusted when we finish and he has blood all over his penis,but he insists that it doesn't gross him out, so I guess I've kind of gotten used to it.

Also, there is a part of me that welcomes my period when I'm sexually active, because I'm terrified of getting pregnant. When I'm not sexually active, I pretty much just feel pure, unadulterated hatred for my period. When I'm sexually active, though, at least I can tell myself that it's more convenient and less expensive than an abortion.

• If you hate it, or it grosses you out, etc., why? If you hate it, can you address things that might contribute to you hating it (like, for instance, growing up with bad attitudes about it, other body image problems you may have, misogyny in general, etc.)?
Honestly, I think a lot of it stems from a) I'm not entirely thrilled that I was born female and b) I'm completely terrified of getting pregnant. Now, I'm not exactly transgendered, and for the mos part, I live as a woman. Sometimes I'm okay with it, sometimes I'm not. But once a month, I get a nasty red reminder that I am indeed a fertile female no matter how I dress or act and I can't escape it. And that sucks.

• If you're sexually active, how do your partners feel about it/treat your period?
My current boyfriend, who is the only person who I've had sex with while on my period, is far more okay with it than I am. It doesn't seem to bother him at all (and I've begged him, many times, to speak up if it makes him uncomfortable), and I guess that makes me feel a little bit better about it myself. It's easier for me to be less disgusted by it when people around me aren't disgusted by it.

• If you do suppress your period, why do you do this, how often, etc?
I don't.

• If you do NOT suppress your period, but do want to or would want to, why?
For all the reasons I've listed that I hate it. The only thing that I'd be a little iffy about is the one thing my period is good for....if I get it, it means I'm not pregnant. If I were to supress it, I'd probably waste a bunch of money on pregnancy tests, just because I'm paranoid like that.

• Whatever your feelings about your period are, how do you think those feelings may or may n ot influence how you feel as a whole about your body, your sex and/or gender?
I had gender issues before I started my period, and much of the reason why hate my period, beyond the pure inconvenience, is that it reminds me that no matter how andrgynous my mind is, my body is still 100% female. I'm actually usually okay with my body being female. I like my breasts, and I feel fortunate that it's easier for me as a female to crossdress than it would be if I were male. I honestly kind of like the attention I get from men (and sometimes women), too. I just really, really dislike that I have to a) deal with all the less pleasant aspects of my period and b) can get pregnant. It's like, menstruating and pregnancy are the two things that many people seem to think "define" womanhood, and I've always felt extremely uncomfortable with both.

[ 11-19-2007, 10:41 PM: Message edited by: libertatissacra ]

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Independence_Day
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• How do you really feel about your period? How do you feel about yourself and your body during your period?

The first year or so that I had my period, I tied a dark colored, long jacket around my waist and pretty much lived in it for 3-5 days every 28. It was good cuz that jacket hid leaks in my jeans and if it got bloody, you couldn't tell. I got mine when I was thirteen, and I think if I'd have gotten it any sooner, I wouldn't have been very able to handle it (I could barely get used to it as it was).

I'm more confident about it, now, and I wear what I want and don't obsess so much about leaking. And when I'm feeling P.O.'d about the whole deal, then I just try to look at it as a privilege, like that because I DO have my period, it kind of makes me part of a sisterhood, ya know? That I can get pregnant, while children, men, and older women can't. That usually eases my annoyance.I don't enjoy the necessity of having a bathroom nearby to change pads and tampons, though. I feel it really "cramps my style" so to speak. I guess I feel a little held back sometimes because it has to be taken care of.

• Do you feel differently about it when you're sexually active and with partners than you do alone?

I'm not sexually active. I never have been (I'm a virgin in every sense of the word). But, when I'm around a guy I'm really attracted to and I'm on my period, I usually am more uncomfortable and less confident around guys. I worry about...well, actually I'm not sure WHAT I worry about. Maybe just looks. Like leaking or something. Or maybe it's because guys' bodies don't do menstruate.

• If you hate it, or it grosses you out, etc., why? If you hate it, can you address things that might contribute to you hating it (like, for instance, growing up with bad attitudes about it, other body image problems you may have, misogyny in general, etc.)?

I don't generally HATE it, but I often feel restricted in my activities (although that's really all in my head), and sometimes I feel like I could hate it if there were no purpose. I think that's probably my issue, though. Just because I think everyone has their days when they don't like anything.

• If you're sexually active, how do your partners feel about it/treat your period?

I'm a virgin, like I said, but I asked my mom about what the male part of the population think of it and if people have sex when the girl is on her period. She said that they don't really care. At least not in her experience.

• If you do NOT suppress your period, but do want to or would want to, why?

I'm sure if I would want to, but since I'm planning on being a virgin until marriage, I might look into it so that I could be sure I wouldn't be on it during the wedding and honeymoon. The first time around I expect will be enough without worrying about the hassle of make sure ya don't stain the hotel's sheets or something. Plus, if I'm wearing a white dress...well, with my form of luck, it would probably be red instead.

• Whatever your feelings about your period are, how do you think those feelings may or may not influence how you feel as a whole about your body, your sex and/or gender?

My mom is very open about sex and men and the two together...and she's also very negative. She doesn't seem to believe that there could ever be a truly emotional depth to a relationship in a good way. I feel differently, but she insists that "all men want is sex" which really bothers me. I wish she wouldn't lump all men in the abusive category she marries. Still, she doesn't seem to view periods in a negative light, so I guess maybe that's part of why I don't either.

At the same time the only reason for women that she sees is getting married and having children. I want to get married and have children someday, but I want to do other things first. I want a career, but our religion strongly encourages "stay-at-home moms" so I also have to deal with the pressure of that, as well.

I love the female things about my body (like my hips and breasts), and maybe that could have something to do with the fact that I don't mind my period...except when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed. Then, I hate everything, not just things about me.

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I’m selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as h*** don’t deserve me at my best. --Marilyn Monroe

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Just wanted to let all of you know that there has been a substantial publication delay with the anthology which I was writing this piece for, and which your words were part of.

But I obtained permission to publish it at Scarleteen in advance, so here you be: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/i_being_born_woman_and_suppressed

Obviously, I hope some of what I have to say there might make you and your period more comfortable bedfellows, but even if it doesn't, or you don't agree with me, I thank you very much for your thoughts and words.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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