Im so confused as to whether or not i am depressed. At the end of my Freshman year in Highschool, i became depressed. I attempted to cut myself, i carved into my furniture while crying...and i dont know why i did that. I had thought of suicide and my ex boyfriend was abusive. He cheated on me and we alway fought. he was emotionally abusive. It took a year to get rid of him. And now, i have a boyfriend who treats me right. But sometimes i find my self still recovering from the abuse...i dwell on the past. I keep thinking I'm okay, then ill find myself crying for no reason and listening to sad music. And im over my ex, but i dont get why im so confusing... Ive gained weight since i started my new relationship...I get angry a lot and i isolate myself in my room from my family. I've been stressed a lot lately from all the school work, vacation im taking,my last drivers ed class im missing, and work i need to do when i get back. I feel like im never going to get a job, or my license. i feel like my life is going nowhere and i will never reach my goals. But then time flies so fast and im still stuck behind.
So do you think i have some kind of minor depression or something?? whats wrong with me?
Posts: 79 | From: Massachusetts | Registered: Dec 2005
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It does sound like you're showing signs of depression, LifeAfterDeath. Processing abuse is something that can take years, and you're still pretty fresh out of that past relationship (good for you for getting out, it's difficult and brave!) Had you seen a therapist to talk about this yet? I definitely would recommend seeing a counselor, first and foremost, to help talk things out and find ways to feel better.
Is there anyway you can talk with someone (parents, teacher, friend) to make a plan to help get caught up with work and reduce stress? What activities are you involved in? Are you exercising regularly? Lastly, I saw your earlier post: Do you think the relationship has made you feel happier or worst in a way?
Posts: 3318 | Registered: Jun 2003
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First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you had to deal with an abusive relationship. And I commend you for getting out of it. Teenage years are hard enough without having to deal with the stresses of someone you care about abusing you.
Before you panic and think there is something really wrong with you, stop and think. Re-read your post. You are dealing with a LOT right now -- both from your past and present. It's completely natural to feel blue and do things that are out of character from your normal self. But before you write yourself off as depressed with no hope, remember that ALL of us go through mild bouts of depression from time to time. Life dumps weird and sometimes cruel circumstances on us all at different times, and when we are forced to deal with them, it can cause mild depression. This can usually be remedied in a few months or so. There is nothing wrong with you that can't be fixed, sweetheart. This can and will pass, with the right treatment. (I speak from first-hand experience.)
I would suggest that you take comfort in your best friends, your new relationship, and ANY other hobby or distraction that makes you feel good about yourself. I couldn't tell from your post if your family is a good support system for you, but if they are, please talk to them. Despite what we think, family members usually know us best and can help us most when we feel sad or blue. And it also wouldn't hurt to speak with a counselor or someone professional who can help you deal with your past abuse. It can take quite awhile to recover from that, so someone trained to help you recognize and deal with the effects would be of great benefit. Again, speaking to your family and seeing if you could get counseling/therapy through your parents insurance, etc. would be good. If you don't have that option, maybe a school counselor would be helpful.
At any rate, I hope this gets better for you. You are very normal to feel the way you do, so don't ever stop believing that. Try to do anything you can to remain positive and take care of yourself. Great big hugs to you! Keep us all posted.
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