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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Addicted to Masturbation?

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Author Topic: Addicted to Masturbation?
Djuna
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A guy on a forum I'm part of was telling us about his project. Basically, he realised the kind of stuff (ie porn) that it was taking to turn him on was getting sicker and sicker, so he was going to do the 1 week no porn no masturbation thing.
And he sorta challenged us all to see if we could manage it.
I tried.
I failed, after less than 24 hours.
Does this mean I'm addicted to masturbation? It's kinda worrying.

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In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

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wobblyheadedjane
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Does masturbating interfere with your life, spending time being social, schoolwork or your job? If it's not making it hard for you to live your life, then it's unlikely you have a problem with masturbating. It's not physically/chemically addictive in the way cigarettes are, for example, so it's really just a matter of considering whether you have a compulsion. If it's not interfering with your life greatly, it's doubtful you have a compulsion. Make sense? [Smile]

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Unlucky at cards; lucky at love.

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Djuna
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Yeah, it's just annoying that it's something I can't stop doing. While it's perfectly healthy etc., it just bugs me that I can't control it. You know? It bugs me that I don't have the willpower for 24 hours even.

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In a strange room, before you are emptied for sleep, what are you. And when you are filled with sleep you never were. I dont know what I am. I dont know if I am or not... how often have I lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home.

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Heather
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If you earnestly CANNOT control it, then it IS a problem.

Because, yes, yes you can -- unless you have an impulse control problem OR an addiction/compulsion -- just like I can control using my fingers to type.

See, watch me go offline right now and gladly stay off all night while I clean up my studio instead! [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Hijol
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It depends. If you masturbate every minute of your life, and you can't control it...and your hand is around your crotch pratically every second...that's a problem. Try resisting to these urges.

I get them a lot, but I manage to stop.

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Does true love exist?

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kluekozyte
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I don't think there's a problem with loving masturbation and wanting to do it as much as possible... Even if you feel addicted to it, that doesn't mean it's wrong or a problem, either. It's like being addicted to running (I know someone who is)- if you're addicted to a healthy thing then you can't complain. Unless, as someone pointed out already, it begins to interfere significantly with the rest of your life.

That being said, I totally understand the uncomfort of feeling out of control, even with a healthy habit. I went through a phase where I really wanted to control my urges, just to test my willpower. I gradually brought myself down to once a day, then every other day, eventually I made it a whole week between orgasms. And then I decided it was silly and I went back to masturbating whenever I felt like it...

So smileyjoe- I understand completely what you're saying, but I don't think you have anything to worry about or feel bad about.

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Hijol
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^^refers to me too.

I'm still currently "masturbating" around 1-2 times a day for 3 minutes each day. I know that a lot of people do masturbate, and say it's a common and even "healthy" thing to do, but I still feel it's not right, and it's outta control.

I'm setting a goal for myself, to limit myself away from masturbation, and I hope that gradually, my masturbation urges will disappear.
I don't want to be involved with touching myself, but it's hard. [Razz]

Try my best, and set a goal

Good luck, and have fun. [Smile]

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Does true love exist?

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SmileyGuy1974
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Hijol,

Solo-sex is a wonderful expression of self-love; a great way to learn your sexual responses; and a liberating sexual act that can open doors in the arena of partnered sex as well.

What you're feeling are sexual urges, not "masturbation urges." Put another way, your urges are "sexual," and masturbation is just one of the ways to satisfy them.

Solo-sex is something that anyone, and everyone, can enjoy. Whether you're married or single, young or old, male or female. Masturbation is meant to be enjoyable. You can fantasize about anything under the sun, use any pace or pressure that you like, and have a really good time with yourself. Finding a nice, private place to engage in solo-sex can be just as relaxing as candles and warm baths...or as exciting as race cars and home runs.

Masturbation should be viewed as an art form, and not just a quick way to "get off." Just like partnered sex should be viewed as an art form, and not just "groping in the night."

I think masturbation is a wonderful outlet for sexual exploration and satisfaction. That's my opinion...your opinion and your choices are yours to make. I just wanted you to know the really good things that solo-sex has to offer.

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Hijol
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Sexual urges, right. That's what I meant. [Razz]

Yeah, I know that masturbating can be fun, but I want to try to avoid it. I honestly feel shame in touching myself, and actually, a lot of my friends and peers are against masturbation...but I have a feeling that they play around with their genital.

I just feel bad masturbating, since well, touching myself is not really the thing I'd like to do. ---but I'm addicted, damn it [Big Grin]

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Does true love exist?

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SmileyGuy1974
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Many studies on masturbation have shown that the vast majority of people pleasure themselves. These studies and surveys have been done by respected doctors and experts in the field of sex. The last survey/study I remember reading stated that 94% of women and 99% of men have masturbated. Most people continue to masturbate until they reach an age where their over-all interest in sexual activity drops. And, naturally, when your interest in sexual activity drops, that means your interest in activities like intercourse and masturbation, etc.

However, giving you numbers and percentages might not sway you in the least. There are some people who just aren't interested in masturbation. And that's fine. Sex is a personal thing. You shouldn't feel that you have to do something just because someone else is doing it.

The thing that concerns me is that you said you feel "shame" when you touch yourself. Let me tell you that I know what you're talking about. I've been there. Much of my shame was based on my religious upbringing, hush-hush attitudes about sex in my community and the thought that I was one of a few people on Earth who masturbated! Oh, how misguided I was.

The fact is, I did a lot of research into masturbation and sex to find answers for myself. I didn't have a website like this to help me. I think I would have come around more quickly if I had. However, I have discovered that solo-sex is something that I enjoy, for a whole lot of reasons. (Besides the obvious one....that it feels good.) I just don't want you to feel ashamed of something that is harmless and natural and liberating. It took me a long time to come to that conclusion, but now that I have, I feel so much better.

All-in-all though, Hijol, whatever you decide is OK. Maybe you can talk with someone you trust about your feelings on this topic. You can talk with any of the wonderful people at Scarleteen on these boards. Talking about it may clear things up more than you think.

I wish you luck!

[ 12-22-2006, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: SmileyGuy1974 ]

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LucysDiamonds
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Hey, Hijol, have you read this article?
Jerking Off

I think it might help, just to give you a different perspective on things. [Smile]

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So if you care to find me
Look to the western sky
As someone told me lately
Everyone deserves the chance to fly

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Dan---
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^^^
Wow, sounds quite a bit like me 2, but I don't find it to be an addiction, just something I do to often, its like someone who drinks alot, but doesnt have to have it. One question though, I never see girls post on too much mastrubation, is there something that makes it more pleasurable to men, because really, we must do it like 3X as much as girls.

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When the pain clouds out the goal, try harder...Daniel Fairweather

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dailicious
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Dan - actually, if you browse topics through the boards, you'll actually find that the majority of our members are girls, and there are a number of topics by them asking about masturbation. [Smile] It's a myth that masturbation feels any "better" for men than women, or that men masturbate more often, because it's all based on what a single person enjoys doing, regardless of whether they're male or female. Some people really enjoy masturbation, some don't; some people may masturbate multiple times in a day, some once or twice a week, some choose to never masturbate. Some people may prefer masturbation over partned sexual activity, some people may prefer partnered activity to masturbation, some people have no preference and enjoy each for different reasons.

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Jean
aka dailicious
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kluekozyte
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Dailicious- it's certainly true that masturbation and sexual urges in general are totally unique from person to person, BUT I've certainly noticed (and I think that Dan was refering to this as well) that among my 17-18 year old friends, every guy I know masturbates regularly, and only about 30% of the girls do. (I'm not just guessing, I've done a lot of asking around, and we're pretty (ok, very) open about this kind of stuff. So, the question that I think Dan was alluding to still stands- is there some scientific reason for this apparent disparity in the sexual habits of men and women? Could it be a societal thing? (e.g. Men are societally programmed to have more of a sexual appetite than women, who according to some old cultural traditions (in some cultures, anyway) are supposed to be almost asexual (at least in public), and if they do have sexual urges, they should be very minimal. easily repressible ones.)

(Just a note: of course there are lots of exceptions- I don't mean to generalize about what ALL men and ALL women are like, but I do think there are some statistical differences when you look at larger groups of people)

(Another note: I hope I haven't offended anyone, I seem to do that now and then unintentionally, but please don't take this post as being sexist or ethnocentric- I'm just wondering about a disparity I've perceived in my own conversations with my peers).

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