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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Can't orgasm?

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Author Topic: Can't orgasm?
Member # 30806

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I'm 16 now,with a slight issue. I can't seem to orgasm, although there are times when I feel like I'm at the brink of it when my boyfriend fingers me. Although, it just won't happen. I'll be at the very edge the entire time, but I can't bring myself to orgasm. Is there anything wrong? Am I not doing something I should be? Any tips?
Posts: 13 | From: Kentucky | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Can you orgasm when you masturbate? Do you masturbate? If not, that's a good place to start. Getting to know your body on your own takes some of the pressure off and helps you figure out what you like and what works for you. Once you have solo sex down, orgasm during partnered sex is much easier.

These articles go into more detail:
Sexual Response and Orgasm: A User's Guide
Is Masturbation Okay? (Yep)

[ 11-25-2006, 11:49 PM: Message edited by: ookuotoe ]

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 31422

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Also consider the amount of clitoral stimulation that you are receiving. Stimulating the walls of the vagina with a finger can feel wonderful, but many women report that direct stimulation of the clitoris is what gets them to climax.

Many research studies have been done to further understand the role the clitoris plays in female sexual response. But what I've learned by reading all of those facts and figures is one simple thing...that the clitoris can play a marvelous part in achieving greater sexual pleasure.

However, don't forget all of the other erogenous zones on your body. Some people get caught up with just intercourse, or just clitoral stimulation. is a whole body experience. The nape of the neck, the elbows, the labia, the breasts, around the navel, etc, etc. All of these places form a variety of combinations that you or a partner can explore for a beautiful voyage.

Good luck.

[ 12-02-2006, 05:11 PM: Message edited by: SmileyGuy1974 ]

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I hate to use the 'some girls cannot orgasm' on a girl the age of only 16, but if it doesnt happen it doesnt happen and it is something you shouldn't worry about. Try not thinking about the orgasm and think about the pleasure that you feel, or the actual sex and other erotic feelings, one of the first rules about orgasming is to not think about orgasming, and hopefully it will happen when you arent expecting it. And even if it doesnt happen then you will still be able to just enjoy sex.
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I hate to use the 'some girls cannot orgasm' on a girl the age of only 16,

Just to clarify - unless someone has certain nervous system injuries, like spinal cord damage or diabetic neuropathy, there's no case for saying that they can't orgasm.

And it's very common for women to take some time to get to know their bodies' responses and learn how to orgasm.

However, Jman13's advice about not obsessing about it and "spectatoring" is very sensible - constantly monitoring yourself to see if you might be about to orgasm is a pretty reliable way to make sure you won't!

"Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world's grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it." - the Talmud

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I will tell you what some one told me when i had never orgasmed and thought i never would and was one of those people who they talk about on tv shows who "never orgasm". There is NO way you cant orgasm from clitoral stimulation.
Of course sometimes it takes for ever.. or sometimes i feels like you cant so you give up because it is exhausting being on the brink.
The thing i realised about clitoral orgasms is.. you really have to find out how you orgasm. What it feels like as it builds up and to continue doing the same thing you are doing that has brought you to the brink. Often it feels like you should be about to but you just dont, dont give up just find another pattern of stimulation.
Im not recommending this.. but if you have never had an orgasm.. when i had never had an orgasm and was pretty distressed about it, this same friend told me to use and electric tooth brush, without the head on. Through underwear, you dont want to hurt yourself. Its the same as a vibrator but it doesnt cost so much and isnt going to be found by parents if you are worried. This is what gave me my first orgasm and helped me discover how to do it myself. Through doing it myself i realised how hard it really cold be for a guy trying to bring a woman to orgasm. SO you should really talk with your boyfriend through it to help you achieve it and to help him know what to do and feel confident in himself.
If you were refering to vaginal orgasm.. then i cant be much help. I know that when you hear "some people never orgasm" This is the type of orgasm they are refering to. To know that you cant NOT have one once you have found out the right way to stimulate yourself helps to actually bring yourself to orgasm. and i agree with everything already said. Try not to think about orgasming, just think about how good he is making you feel. Dont stress yourself or be tense, because it will happen, maybe not immediatly, but thats nothing to worry about. Most boyfriends and girlfriends take a while to figure each other out.

Posts: 15 | From: america | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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