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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Birthmark.

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Author Topic: Birthmark.
Katie03
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So, I've just started seeing this guy, like a couple days ago. We haven't done anything sexual yet, but I'm worried for when we do.. You see, I have a birthmark. It's a circle of brown skin, (i'm caucasian) about the size of a canadian quarter, on my left shoulder.
I totally hate it.
Should I tell him before we start anything, or just let him see it? Do you think he'll be grossed out? I'm just so worried. What do you think?

[ 04-04-2006, 01:07 AM: Message edited by: Katie03 ]

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Saint_Sithney
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You might mention that you've got a birthmark you're a little self-conscious about, but I doubt he'll be grossed out by it. It's just an overabundance of melanin on one point on skin- nothing to be ashamed of and nothing you can help. I'm sure he's not physically flawless either, and he may also have something about his body that he's self-conscious about.
And for all you know, he may think birthmarks are sexy [Razz]

It's just part of your body, and unless it's bright green and has waving tentacles, you shouldn't worry.

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'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'
-T.S. Eliot The Waste Land

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faifai
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It's a birthmark, something natural and normal. I see no reason to "warn" him about it. If he does freak out over something as normal as a birthmark, your worries should be about why you're thinking about getting sexually active with someone who judges you based on the presence of a birthmark.

And you should accept it, too. Birthmarks and scars and the like are there--instead of hating it, why not see it as something that makes you you?

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disconnect and let me drift/until my upside down is right side *in*

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daria319
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Seriously, don't feel bad about it. When I was 16, I noticed a large dark mark on my back that kind of resembled a paw print. I was convinced it was enormous and very dark. My fiance didn't notice it until I pointed it out. He doesn't care about it, or any other marks on my body.

It should be the same with your guy. He should care about you as a person and not get hung up on some little mark. If he does wig out, he's not worth your time.

[ 04-04-2006, 07:30 AM: Message edited by: daria319 ]

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"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

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Castaway
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quote:
Originally posted by Saint_Sithney:
You might mention that you've got a birthmark you're a little self-conscious about, but I doubt he'll be grossed out by it. It's just an overabundance of melanin on one point on skin- nothing to be ashamed of and nothing you can help. I'm sure he's not physically flawless either, and he may also have something about his body that he's self-conscious about.
And for all you know, he may think birthmarks are sexy [Razz]

It's just part of your body, and unless it's bright green and has waving tentacles, you shouldn't worry.

Would it be abnormal then to have a birthmark near your belly button with smalls hairs on it? I'm not sure if that you change anything.
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daria319
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There's some amount of hair covering almost all of your body. Of course, it could just as well be a freckle. Unless it changes color, shape, or size, it's nothing to worry about.

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"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

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Saint_Sithney
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Small hairs on birthmarks are perfectly normal, since as daria319 said, most of your body is covered by hair. If the hair really bugs you, you can put some Nair on it or something, but yeah. Daria's right- you only need to worry if it changes color, shape, or size.

Also, birthmarks are normal on any part of the body. My sister has a small light one on her chin, I have a small dark one about an inch below my navel. My best friend has one in the middle of her back, my ex-boyfriend has one right below his left bicep. Location of them is nothing to worry about either.

--------------------
'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'
-T.S. Eliot The Waste Land

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Bobolink
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If you check, you will probably find that your boyfriend has birthmarks too. They are very common. I have two.

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I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.

- Galileo

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StarHallie
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Hi Katie! I have an enormous scar from a childhood operation.

http://www.scarleteen.com/cgi-bin/forum/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=1;t=004358

I have been self-conscious about it my ENTIRE life...and still am. People have always told me, "it's just a scar, it's no big deal", but I always scoffed at that remark, because I always thought, "well if you had it, you'd understand".

I understand. No matter how big or little it is, it's always in the back of your head.

For what it's worth, when a guy really likes you ( [Smile] ), he'll love everything about you...especially the little quirky things that make you YOU. Like scars, birthmarks, freckles, gray hairs, or any other abnormalities that you see as embarassing.

When I first met my boyfriend, it was a constant struggle to hide my scar from him, but one day some clothes came off, and it was just....there. And I was terrified, and he was so interested in it, touching it, asking me about it. It made me feel great! Sometimes he'll randomly just kiss it. It's so cute. I have premature grays in my hair ...i'm only 18. He wrote a poem (a sort of ode) on them.

And besides, it's the little things about us that make us interesting, unique, even intriguing.

I have like 4 or 5 of the birthmark you have. I have one that looks like south america.

If we didn't have stuff like that, we'd all be boring. :-)

[ 04-10-2006, 03:09 PM: Message edited by: StarHallie ]

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"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
-Woody Allen

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daria319
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StarHallie -- I'm 21 this year, and most of my hair has turned dark grey, but I dye it. Nobody but my fiance and my hairdresser even notice! haha! Of course, the dye's not even to cover up the grey -- I always wanted red hair, so I finally went for it and haven't gone back.

It's nice to know I'm not the only young one with some grey already sneaking in!

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"You owe me two lifetimes and a pair of perfect blue eyes."

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Saint_Sithney
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I've had streaks of white hair most of my life, and they really started becoming apparent when I was 15. I'm 19 now and have lots of white streaks. I think they look pretty cool, and so does my boyfriend. They're dyed right now, but once my hair starts growing out, I'll have my awesome white streaks again.

Besides, going prematurely gray means you have great wisdom [Razz]

--------------------
'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'
-T.S. Eliot The Waste Land

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StarHallie
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Of course! Wisdom! *Smirks*

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"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
-Woody Allen

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Saint_Sithney
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Although apparently freckles and moles forming triangles is a sign of Satan... and all my freckles arrange into perfect triangles... *shifty eyes*

At least I don't have it as bad as my boyfriend- he's twice marked. A perfect isoceles of moles and he's left handed. Don't you just love esoteric beliefs?

--------------------
'My nerves are bad to-night. Yes, bad. Stay with me.
'Speak to me. Why do you never speak? Speak.
'What are you thinking of? What thinking? What?
'I never know what you are thinking. Think.'
-T.S. Eliot The Waste Land

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StarHallie
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T.S. Elliot is one of my favorites. "Portrait of a Lady" is so inspiring.

--------------------
"Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best."
-Woody Allen

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Castaway
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quote:
Originally posted by Saint_Sithney:
Small hairs on birthmarks are perfectly normal, since as daria319 said, most of your body is covered by hair. If the hair really bugs you, you can put some Nair on it or something, but yeah. Daria's right- you only need to worry if it changes color, shape, or size.

Also, birthmarks are normal on any part of the body. My sister has a small light one on her chin, I have a small dark one about an inch below my navel. My best friend has one in the middle of her back, my ex-boyfriend has one right below his left bicep. Location of them is nothing to worry about either.

So it could still be a birthmark even it has like... bits of long hair? It's like a...brownish sort of color, and I think some people think it's a mole, but I'm not really sure if it's a birthmark or not
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dailicious
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Moles and birthmarks can be one in the same, remember. And really, since we're not derematologists and can't see any moles or other birthmarks you may have- we're not going to be able to make an official diagnosis.

Also, daria319 already basically mentioned it but it's good to repeat again:

Sports, moles, birth marks and what have you on your body are completely normal and usually healthy.

The only time you need to be worried are if they change color or size OR if they are larger than the size of a pencil eraser or asymetrical, as those could be early signs of skin cancer. So if you're worried about a molre or birthmark on your body- it's ALWAYS a good idea to speak to a doctor [Smile]

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Jean
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Lindsay*Marie
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dont worry i was worried about mine to, mine is right above my butt on my lower back I was afraid the guy i was with would think it was sick but he never says anything about it so i asked him about it and he said he didnt even notice and when he did he didnt say anything mean about it, alot of people think they are beauty marks and like them i guess
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givemetheworld06
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Don't have any worries about that. Who knows, he may even find it cute. I was scared to death about this pinkish red HUGE birthmark I have on my stomach. I hated it, it looked like a strawberry. I wouldn't let anyone see it for years. But since my partner saw it, he doesn't care at all. If the guy you're seeing is a real man, he won't care. Then if he does, time for a new one. You don't need any guy telling you about your body of what he likes and doesnt. =)
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