(Technically, I'm on a little vacation, but Smurf put this to my attention, so here you are.)
First things first: cut yourself a break.
Think about it this way: how many women in the world WOULD feel good about themselves and their bodies if they were not inudated 24/7, everywhere they look, with fascist beauty standards, with mainstream media and business needing to do everything to convince them something is wrong with them that needs fixing, with pervasive messages that sex is their primary value?
You've got the same sort of thing going on here: if everywhere you turn you see nonsupportive messages, of COURSE they are going to have some effect on you. If nowehere you trun can you find any support, that effect is likely to be pretty profound.
Has anyone in your family ever HAD an abortion? Chances are good, if you have even three other women in your family, that one has, or at least someone close to them has. How do you feel about possibly just speaking out, even by very blatantly saying, "I had an abortion." Sometimes, tough as that can be at first, it's a really powerful thing to do. I know my mother got her whole (Irish catholic) family to give it a rest for good by simply mentioning that she had at a group dinner where all the men were talking crap about abortion and birth control.
Even if you aren't up for that, simply saying you don't agree with their stances and would prefer it not be discussed around you is still sage and may be of help.
What I'm mostly hearing from you, for the record, is that you feel bad about becoming pregnant in the first place, more so than the abortion. Based on what you're saying here, anyway. And most women feel that way about accidental pregnancies, no matter WHAT choice they made, even when it wasn't their fault, when they were careful, the whole works. Becoming PREGNANT -- no matter what you do with the pregnancy -- is a big deal, it tends to have ripples for a while, and in our culture, that's rarely addressed. Pregnancy, period, the experience of pregnancy, is rarely even brought up unless it's about carrying a child to term, and even then, it's mostly the hearts and flowers stuff, not the harder realities women deal with, the tricky emotions, the regrets, what have you.
Per more support, at your college, is there a feminist group or a women's activism group, anything like that? In a setting like that, you're likely to find both some good support and some good community.
Editor & Founder, Scarleteen
ST blog • about Heather & Scarleteen
I have come to learn that that which is most important to me must be spoken. - Audre Lorde