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Author Topic: Is this ok?
curiousTEEN
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Hi, I'm 15 years old and I am worried I masturbate too much! It does not affect my life or anything because I do it about every single night about 1 to 3 times while laying in bed. Is this bad, i mean is it going to ruin my sperm count, make me ejaculate quicker, or make the chances of having a kid when i get older? I always go in hot tubs and steam rooms too. Help please!
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Heather
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Nope, none of those things are anything to be concerned about. masturbation does not effect fertility (does help protect your prostate gland, though).

Any pattern can become habitual, so it's possible that during sex with a partner you may have to adapt a bit per what you're used to for your enjoyment and your partner's, but that's not a big, nor anything serious.


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curiousTEEN
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thanks for quick reply. what is the normal penis erection size? and does it matter?
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Heather
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There is no "normal," there's only an averaghe, and that average -- around 5.5 inches -- is for adult men. There aren't averages for teens because growth can't be averaged well by age as puberty has a different timetable for everyone.

And no, it doesn't matter. Seriously.


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OnlyBoy
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i believe it since you said it. but why do some girls go crazy about size?
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OnlyBoy
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oh i forgot. i have time before i find this out but what difference does a small penis make? i mean, when it enters a girl. sry for the blunt way of saying that.
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wobblyheadedjane
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No difference at all.
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Heather
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I've said this here before and I'll say it again: what people may want per the size of what is entering the vaginal canal or anus may vary sometimes. Sometimes a person may want more, sometimes less.

But since a penis isn't a one-size-fits-all sex toy, nor the only thing one engages in sex, that doesn't make a difference. (And in fact, something a lot of men don't realize is that sex toys for women for penetration DO vary in size all over the map: if women all wanted nothing but one given size, I assure you, that wouldn't be the case.)

Someone with a partner with a larger penis who wants less "full" penetration can engage in manual sex with a single finger or a smaller dildo. Someone with a partner with a smaller penis who wants more penetration can use a larger dildo or have manual sex with a few fingers. And hey: plenty of times, a person may want no penetration at all; plenty of times someone may want manual sex or oral sex or mutual masturbation rather than intercourse.

Also remember than vaginal depth, size and construction varies just like penis size does, and to boot, different levls of arousal equal different available depths of the vagina. So, presuming that vaginas are one-size-fits-all eitheri is also false.


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Twitch#1
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I would say you should try to cut down on masturbation. In some situations masturbating a lot can lead to a sort of addiction. At least I suffered from one, I attempted to stop masturbating completely on several attempts and the results were devestating. I became depressed within a few days, I lost my appetite, lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks and this happened twice when I tried cold-turkey. I think what happened was my body is addicted to a hormone that is released during the orgasm. I found that with slow steps that it is much easier, and now I can go 4 days sometimes without a large urge. Also wanting sex a lot like that can really hurt a relationship (which is the reason why I tried stopping the first 2 times)
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Bobolink
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Masturbation is not physically adicting. There is nothing to become addicted to. It can become an obsessive-compulsive disorder but that is not an addiction.

Jerking Off

[This message has been edited by Bobolink (edited 12-05-2005).]


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Heather
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...and just to be clear, there are no special "hormones released" during masturbation. There aren't even any hormones which come into play during or after ANY sort of sex -- solo or partnered -- which don't also come into play during, say, a long jog or workout.
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Twitch#1
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This can't be possibly true. Why is it that when a man gets off his mood usually suddenly changes, the physical changes along with the emotional fluctuations when having an orgasm clearly indicates some chemical is being released during the action. Such as endorphins which can be psychologically addicting

[This message has been edited by Twitch#1 (edited 12-08-2005).]


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Heather
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Look it up, babe. Go find out for yourself via research.

First of all, not only men experience the sensation you're describing after orgasm.

And yes: to a large degree (but not anything close to entirely), that is due to hormonal issues, but they are the SAME hormones -- endorphins, dopamine, noradrenaline, oxytocin, etc. -- secreted not just by masturbation (or in men), but by partnered sex, and not just by sex but by plain old exercise and physical activity. Again, as I already explained, you or I can and do experience that exact same alchemy after a strenous workout (and often even more intensely and in a longer-lasting way compared to masturbation, since generally, workouts last far longer than the average masturbation session).

Saying endorphins are chemically addicitve is a misnomer. Our bodies naturally secrete endorphins, and for good purpose -- they're calming, relaxing: they keep our stress levels down, our blood pressure down, our moods naturally in balance. They serve important purposes. We need them. Saying that is addicitive is akin to saying oxygen is addictive. And stating that masturbation is addictive because it can release the same hormones that running can is a giant logistical sinkhole.


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Heather
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As well, when one says "psychologically addictive," what that clinically is is obsessive or compulsive behaviour

And ANYTHING, any actvity at all, can be compulsive: hair-pulling, nail-biting, toenail-clipping, talking, drinking water, pregnancy paranoia, watch-checking, handwashing, pacing, page-turning, television watching, rubbing one's fingers together, toe-tapping, you name it.

The issue with psychological compulsions isn't the activity itself, but the compulsive behaviour, which can affix itself to ANY activity, and often does to several in a compulsive or obsessive person.


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Gumdrop Girl
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No, endorphins are not addictive. Really, they're not.

When people orgasm, oxytocin is released from the posterior pituitary gland. it's a *short-acting* hormone that can induce positive emotions as well as muscle contractions and lactation in mothers (interesting, ehh?). it's not special, rather it's quite ubiquitous.

as for your mood swings before, during and after sex, that has a lot to do with the neurological activity that control those functions. Arousal is controlled by the rest-and-digest response (parasympathetic autonomic nervous system), so it's natural that you will feel pretty good, kinda chilled out. Ejaculation is controlled by fight-or-flight response (the sympathetic autonomic nervous system). With that comes a strong feeling of excitement and edginess. Then when the sexual response resolves, the edginess wears off, giving a positive feeling of relief.

masturbation isn't an addictive behavior, but if people are COMPULSIVES and prone to compulsive behavior, they can form bad habits that disrupt their regular lives. This is especially a problem with poor self-control and inability to prioritize. there is a subtle, but very real difference between addicion and compulsion.

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Heather
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It's also worth mentioning that for many people -- including small children -- masturbation (and some aspects of partnered sex, too) is a self-comforting activity.

If it's the only real one you've got, or the only one you really make a habit of -- your way of relaxing, of comforting yourself, of chilling -- then of course you're going to feel stressed if you ditch it, the same way a thumb-sucker feels stressed if their thumb is kept from their mouth.

But again, there are MANY self-comforting activities, and many ways for the body to secrete all of these hormones.


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Ecofem
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quote:
Originally posted by Miz Scarlet:
If it's the only real one you've got, or the only one you really make a habit of -- your way of relaxing, of comforting yourself, of chilling -- then of course you're going to feel stressed if you ditch it, the same way a thumb-sucker feels stressed if their thumb is kept from their mouth.

This reminds me of how my mother would always exclaim, "Stop it! It's like masturbating in public!" when I'd play with my hair. (That she'd add, "Instead take your hands and stick them up your a**," with a devilous grin, I'd probably best leave out, as not everyone has such a vulgar mom...)

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Heather
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Ay carumba!

Just an extra note on oxytocin? It's also produced during breastfeeding, childbirth, and in plain old falling in love. In fact, because oxytocin receptors are in the heart, for all we know, it's why we express that we feel love in our hearts, why we feel "heartbroken," when it vanishes.

Again, like all the other hormones, it's not exclusive to sex or masturbation, and again, like other hormones, it's not nonessential or frivolous: oxytocin reduces anxiety and soothes stress, lowers blood pressure, helps in human emotional bonding, and helps us to manage pain. Ironically enough, in the context this was brought up, it's also been found to INHIBIT chemical addiction, and reduce withdrawal symtpoms from bonafide chemical addictions.

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 12-09-2005).]


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Twitch#1
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So from what you guys have said, you basically supported what I said, just from a different heading. Masturbation can become a problem if one does it too much, it can start off small and slowly become worse. But by repetition and haibit, not by a chemical need so to speak. A good quote I'd like to make is from Dr. Glen Hanson, he points out that many people experience cravings for the drug and have withdrawal symptoms when they get off of it. "For me, that defines addiction". Just as I had withdrawal symtoms when I tried to stop, such as loss of apetite and depression. Of course this was not a chemical need as you have shown me, but rather a compulsion, just as someone who is in love and their spouse dies becomes "sad". It's a "depression".
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Twitch#1
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I would like to add, I do know that the doctor that I quoted was talking about a drug, and not sex. It basically universally accepted that humans will always seek what pleasures them, whether it is good or bad for them.
Shouldn't whatever it is that brings them pleasure be called an addiction if it effects their emotions if they do not receive it?
Addiction Def. 2 (The condition of being habitually or compulsively occupied with or or involved in something.)

Of course, now I'm going onto philosophy, and I understand that is not the purpose of these boards, I apologize lol


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Heather
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...the only thing you're missing -- or not representing -- is that this is no more an issue with masturbation than it is with anything else at all.

In other words, if you had applied compulsive behaviour to handwashing, it still would have been an issue if, in fact, it was complusive behaviour.

Which is NOT, btw, the same as telling someone else who does NOT feel their masturbation is compulsive to cut down, nor the same as saying one must be addicted to hormones because of masturbation or that endorphins are addictive, nor the same as saying masturbation can lead to addiction.

So, no, doesn't exactly sound like we were saying the same things at all, but it does sound like you're understanding the issue a lot better based on actual, factual information, and that's what counts.


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Michelle Ravel
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I was just thinking that, too. Yes, masturbation can become a compulsive behavior, but so can something like handwashing, as Miz Scarlet just said.

People who find themselves washing their hands compulsively see therapists and try to cut their psychological need to wash their hands.

BUT--I wash my hands, too. I wash them when they feel dirty, and before meals, etc. For me, it is a completely normal and not at all compulsive thing to do. And NO ONE--not even you, Twitch #1, would ever tell me to cut washing my hands cold turkey because it can become "addictive." It would just sound silly.

You see, they're not saying the same thing as you at all. And I think it is because you don't quite understand the difference between addictive and compulsive yet.

"Addictive" applies to a THING that people become physically dependant on. So, a drug, for instance, can be addictive.

"Compulsive" applies a PERSON who forms an unhealthy habit or behaviour that they find they cannot break on their own. But a THING is not compulsive. The PERSON is. Compulsive people can become dependant on completely normal, otherwise healthy things, like making their beds or something.

Masturbation is one of those normal, completely healthy things that compulsive PEOPLE can become dependant on. But it is not a THING that is addictive. Does that make sense?

We tell people to avoid doing things that might be addictive if possible. So, for example, we tell people not to smoke because it is addictive. BUT we don't tell completely healthy, uncompulsive people to stop doing normal things. So, for example, you wouldn't tell me to stop making my bed or sharpening my pencil or doing any other completely normal thing that compulsive people might have a problem with.

Just like making a bed or sharpening a pencil, masturbation is a completely normal behavior. So telling healthy people to "cut down" just doesn't make any sense. You see?

(I'm sorry if I said something not completely clinically correct in this or if I defined something wrong. Please feel free, guys, to correct me on any small point where I've made a mistake. But I'm pretty sure what I've said is basically right in essentials. I have a friend with OCD, and she explained it all to me once, and it made an impression, so I thought it might help.)


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Twitch#1
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I know its been awhile, but is it wrong of me to suggest that it can get out of hand. If something becomes compulsive, then it adds stress to someones life if they cannot complete it. If you are a compulsive hand washer, and can't wash your hands in your current situation that is going to add tension and stress in your life which can likely cause your mood to become negative and effect the way you treat someone else. Angry people usually do not act nice, and if lets say you had an cumpulsive need to masturbate, and time goes by that doesn't allow you to masturbate then you will suffer from a stress that you need not be. I'm just saying, if someone is masturbating a lot, maybe its not a good thing. Not saying morally, or ethically wrong, but just so the person doesn't have to run into a situation where they can't masturbate and it drives them nuts.
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Peaches44
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Just to clarify. I don't think that anywhere in the original message there was anything said about not being able to stop or being worried about being in a situation where he could not masturbate.

The bottom line here is that the only time when someone should be advised to cut back on something is when it has actually become compulsive or is affecting their life in a negative way. From the ORIGINAL message I don't think that is the case here.

Like it has been said already, it is a habit that has the POTENTIAL to become compulsive, but at this point it is NOT and may NEVER BE. And like it has been said the above statement is true about everything that you do, every day and it makes no sense to warn someone not to do something unless it is actually a problem.


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