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Author Topic: it happened again..only worse! Yikes!
Lindsay*Marie
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I know i posted this somewhere before, well not exactly the same thing, i could not find it sorry and i am getting kind of worried. Like i said before when i masturbated my inner and outter lips swelled up but did not hurt what so ever. Just this weekend I had sex, best i had but it started hurting very bad and when i reached down i felt how swelled i was once again. I stopped and turned on the light to look and it was the worst i have ever seen it, and hurt to, i was shaking and out of breath but then again i just wanted to be done, but he was not i told him about it and he said he never seen it before and went on it started hurting more and more and swelling, not its the next day the swelling is gone but it feels like i might have a couple cuts but when i try looking i cant fidn any, is this an infection i have that makes me swell, i am so scared that i could have something, and dont know how to go get checked with out my mom knowing
Posts: 40 | From: duluth mn us | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
faifai
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quote:
Originally posted by Lindsay*Marie:
Just this weekend I had sex, best i had but it started hurting very bad and...i was shaking and out of breath but then again i just wanted to be done, but he was not i told him about it and he said he never seen it before and went on it started hurting more and more

Ok. I had to take a deep breath to keep from going "Oh.My.God" like Janice from Friends. But it happened regardless. Anyway, you have more problems than just the swelling here.

You were having the "best" sex you ever had until you started feeling pain that literally had you shaking. And you told your partner you just wanted to be done and he kept going because he hadn't "finished"?

First off, this guy is not someone you should be having sex with. From what you've said, he has shown extreme disregard for your health and safety. Continuing sex when your partner has asked you to stop because s/he is in pain is wrong, and it is something no caring partner would ever do.

The swelling happens naturally when you are aroused, since blood goes to the area. Same thing happens in guys, only it is more obvious, in the form of an erection. It makes sense that it didn't hurt when you were masturbating, since you usually know what will trigger what response to your body, and avoid hurting it.

I don't know why your labia were hurting during sex, though it's happened to me before when the position was pulling certain parts in the wrong direction or when things lost lubrication. Adding lube or stopping for a second and switching positions would probably fix that. However, I really don't think you should reconsider having sex with this guy. Ever again.

The feeling that you have cuts may very well be true. A lack of lubrication/arousal means bad friction, which means tiny tears in the vagina/around it. Go to your doctor/Planned Parenthood and ask for treatment AND an STI test, to find out whether you do have any STIs. If you've ever had any unprotected sexual contact, you're especially at risk--get checked, since you said yourself that you were very worried you might have something.

If you don't have money/fear that your parents may find out/etc., look up a Planned Parenthood sliding scale clinic--they are confidential and will charge you based on what you're able to pay.

In the meantime, focus on getting yourself back together. Look at these articles: How an STI test Works, The 10 Best Things you can Do for your Sexual Self, and Sexual Health 101: For Her.

And address the issue with your partner--do you really want to be with someone who doesn't seem to care about your well-being at all? Maybe I've just interpreted your post incorrectly, but that's how it comes across. His behavior was not ok, and you deserve better. Keep us posted as to how everything turns out.

[This message has been edited by faifai (edited 11-27-2005).]


Posts: 640 | From: The Valley of the Sun, AZ, USA | Registered: May 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lindsay*Marie
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I do not know what i was shaking for, if it was good, just scared of why i swell, i do not think it was from pain but could be. Yes i know he should not of did that, he was getting out of hand and i finally just yelled at him for not caring what was happening and went to bed, when we woke up in the morning he said it was a pathetic mean thing to do to leave him "high and dry" and i yelled for that also, i think he takes it as some kind of a joke, i hate him but then again i like being around him
Posts: 40 | From: duluth mn us | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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Saying stop is NOT A JOKE.

Earnestly, get smart: get away from this guy and stay the heck away from anyone for whom no does not mean no, period.

There's a word for someone who does not stp when a sexual partner says stop: it's rapist.

So, by all means, go get tested. But in the interim, ditch this guy and save yourself more trauma. This sort of behaviour is not good sex or healthy interpersonal relationship. Neither is sleeping with someone you hate.


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Lindsay*Marie
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i suppose i am being stupid with this, i would not call it rape though, i could not consider him a rapist, i am going to find a time to get tested, your right he is not a person to be with, its not like i told him now and he beat me down or anything i push hm off tell him it hurts and he would just grab my legs or me and pull me twards him, i never thought of it as rape, he does not treat me right either and i am being stupid i just see him everyday and its hard to stay away from someone you see all the time, we were talking about std's and he said he doesnt have any and if he ever got one it would be from me, which i know i dont(didnt) have one or and sti, so if i do have one i really dont want to confront him about it so he can tell everyone and i get slapped for "giving him" one, i just want to know if swelling is a sign of one or if it just happened to me and will be ok
Posts: 40 | From: duluth mn us | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
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Lindsay-Marie, please listen to what we are saying to you.

You stated you said NO. You also said he disregarded this, and kept going. Whether you consented in the beginning or not, the whole situation became unacceptable when you said NO and he ignored you.

Please, for your safety, get away from him as soon as you can. It's not safe for you. Rape is when someone says no and that command is ignored.

As per swelling, it can be many things. The genitals swell when they are aroused, and they can swell if they experienced trauma, like sexual intercourse without enough lubrication.

------------------
Treat with respect the power you have to form an opinion--Marcus Aurelius

[This message has been edited by DarkChild717 (edited 11-28-2005).]


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Atmosphere22
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Lindsay-Marie,

Wow, so I've just read all your posts and..

Seriously, get AWAY from this guy right now. I know that sometimes it is difficult to suddenly distance yourself from someone when you see them all the time.. but if this guy is treating you badly, he is NOT worth it. ANY guy that does not listen when you tell him to stop is not a guy worthy of your time.

I know that there can be that lingering feeling of being scared of not finding someone else, or being alone.. trust me, I've been there. But don't you deserve a guy that treats you in the way you deserve to be treated, and respects you?


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Lindsay*Marie
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you guys are just, Ahhhh! this sucks!
Posts: 40 | From: duluth mn us | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
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I'm really not sure of what to make of that.

But yes: having a partner who isn't respecting yur well-being sucks. Having a partner who guilt-trips you for halting something that was causing you pain -- something which is supposed to be about mutual pleasure -- sucks. Coming to terms with the fact that a relationship probably isn't healthy, and may well be harmful, sucks. Being treated like a nonperson sucks.

But staying IN those situations REALLY sucks, and from what I can gather, there's nothing -- like dire financial need, shared children, a lack of support -- that's really keeping you there but you.

Think about it.


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Lindsay*Marie
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i meant to say you guys are right..then just Ahh! This sucks because i think its hard to put an end to thing, but i am going to. Sorry i got off topic about my question, you can delete this or whatever if you would like
Posts: 40 | From: duluth mn us | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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