My mom has been giving me enemas on a weekly basis for as long as I can remember it has gotten to the stage where I just don't like my mom constantly at it I don't think I need enemas at all but she is obsessed with giving them every Sat. How can I nicely tell my mom I hate it and get her to stop
Posts: 4 | Registered: Mar 2005
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As far as I know, enemas should only be given when NEEDED. They are not supposed to be regular "occurences".
To me, this situation sounds dangerous. I'm not sure how old you are, but ANYONE who is old enough to be posting at this site should not have to deal with this situation. In my opinion, you don't need to be looking for a "nice" way to tell your mom this, but rather any way you can keep it from happening.
I am trying to think of any cultural health belief that suggests regular enemas and am drawing a total blank. Usually the use of an enema has been restricted to cases of constipation not responding to other conventional treatments (prune juice).
Have you asked why you get an enema every week? What are her beliefs that lead her to think this is a good plan? I cannot think of any mainstream health experts that would advocate regular enemas like this.
My mom was an rn and had to deal with children and teens with faesal impaction and believes it was caused by lack of discipline from their parents. She keeps achart of everytime I move my bowels in the kitchen because she feels I should move at least once a day and the enemas are a restorative thing once a week to prevent impaction. I know she has my best interests at heart but I feel embarassed sometimes especially when she starts discussing my bowel movements in front of my friends.
Posts: 4 | Registered: Mar 2005
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Wow, that is a tough one. Battling the entrenched belief system of an adult can be hard work. It is worse when the adult is an educated professional. But, happily science is on your side, and you now have to become better informed than your mother. You need to find evidence that
You can be regular without an enema
Regular use of enemas in a non-constipated individual can be harmful
There is no reason to continue with the practice in your case
Your Mom will listen to reason
So, what to do? Here is how I would start
You obviously have internet access, start gathering data
Look up different sites on gastroenterology and pediatrics
Ask to see a doctor with your Mom if need be to discuss this if she insists on continuing you “treatments”
Tell your Mom that you are old enough to know if you are having trouble with constipation and would let her know if you needed help
Tell Mom that it embarrasses you when she discusses your bowel habits with others
You are not the same as the kids that she had cared for in the hospital
You really are uncomfortable with the whole weekly enema thing and want it to stop
I can think of only a very few actual medical conditions where a person needed to have an enema in order to move their bowels, and I am pretty sure you would know if you had them.
Good luck to you.
Added 03/27/2005 Sorry, I meant to tell you that I will check for some resources to help you get started as well and post them here later.
[This message has been edited by Barbarosa (edited 03-27-2005).]
Well, a rather exhaustive search has yielded a little info and some helpful links. First and foremost, the regular use of enemas in non-constipated individuals is not encouraged in conventional medicine.
i think that Barbarosa has done an excellent job in steering you in the right direction for finding some solid medical evidence and research that supports your case.
i agree that perhaps you should talk about this with your physician but i know this may be tricky since your mom was an RN and probably feels she can handle any non-major health issue you may have, correct?
still... i don't know much about enemas and i'm certainly no medical professional, but i agree that having an enema every week of your life is not necessary to maintain regularity. i just can't understand why your mom is so insistent on doing this. then again, if she is no longer a nurse and "out of the loop" as far as advances in medical technology and treatments, etc then she may be unaware that this sort of treatment is not considered necessary or safe on a regular basis. still, i cannot understand why she is so obsessed with your bowel movements. if you were an infant or toddler, then perhaps i could understand...
anyway, you definitely need to explain to her that this makes you very uncomfortable and embarassed now. i mean, what happens when you go to college or move out and get a job? will she continue to insist on giving you your weekly enema? i know that it is an embarassing thing for you to discuss with others, but perhaps you could find a trusted adult to help you talk with your mother about this... your doctor would be an excellent choice (provided they don't feel the same way about enemas!) but seriously, i am sorry that your mother is so misinformed about this unnecessary procedure and i sincerely hope that you can work out a solution to this soon.
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