I have been very sad about the way I look. Well, kind of... You see I am 19 years old, I am almost 5'6" and I weigh 170lbs. I have been on Paxil for my anxiety for a couple of years now. Before I started taking Paxil I was 130lbs but, I was always having anxiety attacks and afraid to go outside, (Agoraphobia.) I did use to do marching band when I was in school so that was my exercise. Now I have graduated (2003) and I hate exercise.
I went to my doctor who prescribed the Paxil last March, and I told him about my weight concerns. I was 155lbs at the time. He told me, "Lose five pounds, and keep a lid on it." Well, thanks for the great advice. It didn't help me. I have learned that a side effect of Paxil is weight gain. It makes fat cells expand.
I have tired to eat better, and that did work for a while when I was on vactaion, but when I got back home I gained the 15lbs I lost back. I have tried to exercise, but it makes me feel sick and I really don't have the motivation.
Now I am engaged (one month, been together for over 2 years), I have a wonderful fiancé who says I am perfect. He is 18, 5'8" and 140lbs! I feel like a 18 wheeler standing next to him! But, I have noticed that when I go out I get way more looks from guys now than when I was 130lbs. When I was 130lbs I though I had fat thighs!
All in all I feel like if I have my Paxil holding me back somewhat, how am I going to get to a healthy weight? What is a healthy weight? How can I get motivated? I am a very picky eater, and when I don't eat, or opt. for a slim fast, I get very agitated and am not a fun to be around.
The skinny women on television doesn't help either. You see, by no fault of her own Buffy (yes, the vampire slayer) is my hero. She always follows her heart and never leaves a human or vampire with a soul behind. She is a wonderful character. I have read she (Sarah Michelle Geller) is 5'3" 96lbs. I know 96lbs is not a safe weight for me. I have the complex I guess, the character Buffy has such an interesting life, even without the super natural part. I, on the other hand, don't. I want to be able to run without getting short winded. And fit into my size 8 pants again. But is it even possible?
I do not want to go back to the way I was before without Paxil. I'd rather be 200lbs before I go through that serious degree of anxiety and fear again. I just feel hopeless sometimes. To eat or not to eat? To feel full and satisfied or starved and thiner? I just want to be healthy and happy with myself, and getting bigger and being this big is not making me happy.
Sorry I wrote so much. Thanks for anyones help, I appreciate it greatly.
I don't have a medical background, but speaking as someone who is about the same size as you, you sound like you're a healthy size. I'm 5'8" and my weight generally wavers between 185 and 205 (I tend to gain weight in the summer, then loose back at school where the food is crappy). I've never been much of an excerciser either, they trained that out of me in gym in elementary school. I wouldn't worry about it at all, it sounds like your weight is proportional to your height, which (I my humble opinion) is always much more attractive than seeing someone's ribs and collar bones sticking out of their skin. I do sometimes worry about my health just from the standpoint of lack of activity though, so if there's something active that you like to do (taking walks, bike rides, ect...), do it but don't go into it trying to loose weight. Do it to get blood circulating (I say as I sit in front of my computer). You might burn fat and build muscle (which is actually heavier) or there might not be a visible difference at all, but it still feels good.
Also something to consider, the stress from your anxiety attacks is probably what kept your weight down before. The Paxil is probably allowing you to gain weight more normally than before, rather than causing excess weight gain. (Again, this is speculation on my part if I'm wrong, I'd appreciate it if someone with a medical background would correct me).
As much as we all love Buffy (and we do ) we taller gals can't forget that she's much shorter than we are (so she should weight less) and she's pretty ridiculously skinny on top of that. As they say, into each generation a slayer is born (or something like that) and that's about how frequently people who look like that really do come along. I doubt that 96 lbs is a healthy weight for her either. So yeah, we can't all look like the slayer, but on the up side, we get to eat regular meals. Carrying sharp stakes around like that is dangerous anyway.
[This message has been edited by spinnersis (edited 11-04-2004).]
Your best bet is always going to be eating right and exercising. When you cut way down on your caloric intake, your body is starved for nutrients, and doesn't know when it's going to get said nutrients, so it tends to store more fat than it would if you were eating properly. Print out a food pyramid, and try to stick to it. Read your labels, and just plain don't buy foods that aren't good for you. If you live with your parents, tell them you're interested in toning up and getting healthy, and I can almost guarantee they'll help you keep a healthy diet.
Don't like exercise? Try to find something that keeps your body in motion that you enjoy. Personally, I exercise by playing an hour or two of DDR every couple of days.
you'd be surprised how much more exercise you can get in a day by parking a little farther from where you're going, taking the stairs instead of the elevator, or doing the housework a little more often than you already do (vacuuming or hoovering about the house can burn 320 calories per hour).
As for hating exercise, okay, so maybe running laps ain't for you. but what about nice long walks in the park? dance lessons with the fiance? swimming? playing a team sport? it sounds to me you need exercise far more than you need to diet or the reasons Aria gave above.
im not an expert on this but i do no my bit. and i no its hard to exercise and eat right with all the mixed messeges the media sends. i mean in a magazine on one page they show a beautiful women (perhaps even buffy) and tips on how to look just like her. then on the next page it shows a deleriously good looking chocolate cake that makes you drool. but the thing is if every one looked like the pretty girl from seventeen magazine. life would be really dull. iluv buffy the vampire to, smg is my idol. but imagine if buffy and willow were exactly the same dress size, or bra size, or sumthin else. life needs different people of all shapes and sizes. one of my best friends wieghs 250lb.but i never seem to notice. and neither does any one else when were together(i way 95, im 13). its just because of the way she displays herself. its almost like she glows. its just cuz she knows that even though shes not perfect (and no one is) she knows shes absolutely beutiful. you just have to have confidence in your self, hold your chin up, if you glow inside youll glow outside too. but,however, it seems to me you have more important things to worry about than how big your thighs are. i mean you have a guy who loves you so much that he will MARRY YOU! and its obviouse that he will love you even if you become a baboon. i think you owe it to him to stop concentrating on your self image and start concentrating on your wedding to the lucky guy you love.
You know, pretty much the top thing ALWAYS suggested for those who suffer from depression or anxiety is exercise, no matter WHAT a person wieghs.
Exercise is MAJOR, HUGE major, when it comes to changing your body chemistry and brining naturally mood-enhancing hormones which you need into your system.
And -- not to surprsingly -- it's easy to hate exercise when you're doing it for the wrong reasons, or simply to lose weight. When you do something you enjoy, when you're digging the movement and what it's doing for how you FEEL, it can make a really big difference. And it's WAY more helpful when it comes to weight loss, if you do need to lose wieght for your health, than dieting. Ditch the SlimFast. Honestly, it's mass-marketed crap, and full of dairy and sugars, anyway, which isn't likely to be helpful. Grab something better for you and more substantial instead, like a bag of baby carrots and some (not fatty) bean dip or an apple or some peanut butter on whole grain bread.
FYI? I'm a Buffy geek. To the point that it's embrassing. That given, did you know that SMG's stuntwomen had to keep getting tinier and tinier, to the point that finding a woman THAT small who could actually DO the moves in the stunts became nearly impossible? Her fitness and health most likely are NOT something you'll want to idolize.
So, per movement, what do you LIKE to do? Swimming? Walking? Biking (which is awesome exercise, and great transportation that helps the environment, to boot!)? Dancing (maybe swing classes with your fiancee?)? What haven't you tried yet? Boxing (yes, as a boxer I'm biased.)? Aerobic yoga? Pilates?
Thank You all I really appreciate it. Also, I never knew there were as many Buffy fanatics as me! But really thanks for all the advice! I have started to exercise and eat ..... veggies over chocolate! Thanks a lot!
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