I was just wondering, what exactly are females (for the most part) looking for in a male partner's body? I know the mass media has said that males should be tall have big chests, biceps, and a small waist and we (on behalf of males everywhere) have been socialized to believe that's what we should look like. By the same token, females are supposed to look like Barbie but we all know that both of these stereotypes are nearly un-atainable. So, to clarify my query what do women look for in a real life male's body? For example, I am 5'10.5" and weigh 145 lbs. but I'm a competitive college cross country/track runner with bodyfat percentage right at 3% which is perfectly healthy but according to the stereotypical image, it's quite the opposite. What are ya'lls thoughts?
I personally am attracted to geeky, quiet, brainy, politically active, glasses-wearing computer programmers. Tall, short, thin, stocky, etcetera; I look for what's between the ears instead of below the neck, honestly. And I like my women the same way.
My best female friend looks for lanky men with swimmer's bodies. She likes her women short and very thin.
Another female friend of mine looks for tall, hairy, round men. And she likes her women tall and curvy.
My point? No two women are going to look for the same thing in a man, and not every woman is even going to be looking for ANYTHING in a man.
I've never been a Barbie doll. I'm 5'7" and 200 lbs. I have laugh lines that I choose to leave uncovered by makeup, and prematurely grey hair that I choose to color. In my younger days, I weighed 185. I have a mother's body with stretchmarks and my breasts sag more than they did. And you know what? I've never had a problem getting a date. Why? Because I realize that if someone isn't going to be interested in me simply because of the way I look, then they aren't someone worth my interest.
Long story short: The people who really matter, the people who are really worth your time, aren't going to give a flying fig what you look like. They'll be more interested in what's on the inside, and that is what truly matters.
For me, the way I feel when I'm with a man is more important to me than how he looks. Although I believe there has to be at least some attraction, looks really aren't important to me. Personality plays a huge part. When my friends and I used to go to 'Ladies Night', I never understood all the frenzy. Sure the guys were hot, but that means nothing if they don't have a nice personality.
I hate the media. It's crazy what they are trying to do to us.
I think the main point here is that EVERYONE is different! No one girl prefers their guy the same, and even if it seems that way, there will still be slight differences. Society, unfortunately, are very image driven and influence everybody to thinking that 'hot' people should look like this and if you don't look like that you're not beautiful. Then people think 'oh, ok that's what an attractive person is supposed to look like' and instead of making their own mind up they go on what society, media and other influences have to say!
You'll also find that majority of girls will not care so much about looks. The first thing they fall in love with is a guys personality. Guys are different here though, because most guys are driven more by image.
Personally I like my men tall, well built and with a gorgeous smile. But even if I found a guy like that and he had a personality I didn't like, the looks would all go down the drain. Likewise, if I found a guy whose personality totally captivated me, but perhaps his looks weren't identical to my likings, it doesn't even matter. you'll find that as relationships grow, that person finds their partner more and more attractive anyway.
Ok, I know I've written alot, I hope I've made sense. The MAIN point I'm trying to say is, everyone is different. There isn't one particular way a guy should look that sends all girls in a frenzy. That's why we all look different! The way you look might be the exact dream description for another girl out there...
I agree with everything said in the post before mine. I have actually come to find that I am not attracted to a certain type of guy physically or mentally. Each guy I have been attracted to has been completely different from the other. I hate the media's emphasis on being thin. I find myself looking at models in magazines or actresses on tv wishing I looked like them, and then I realize, I can't. I'm me, and I'm perfect just the way I am. What's the "perfect" body type? I believe it all depends on the person.
People often look for what they think they want but end up with something different.
I thought I would fall for a pale skinned, tall person with raven black eyes and hair. He would have to be feminine, slightly distant, quiet and a loner, but always prepared for a debate. I fell for a guy who is nothing, nothing like that. He's more like an adorable teddy. He's tall and overall lean, but he has a tiny bit of pudge around the tummy, and that's very cute. People will often be turned away by trivial things like acne (it's natural. Get over it. I was never a suferer but I know of guys who can't take their shirts off in public and others who think that nobody will like them as long as they have acne. If I ever hear anyone call an another pizza face I will seriously smack them) or nerdiness (for some strange reason I found that nerdy guys can be a lot more caring than toughies). A lot of people actually get turned off by the public perception of beauty. I hate excessive muscle . Someone else I know likes breasts to be of a natural size. Let's forgive people for a second and think that maybe not everyone is as seriously brainwashed by the media as it might seem sometimes.
I like my guy to have small muscles, I see Arnold Swartzenager's body repulsive (no offense to anyone buff). One thing that repels me is if a guy has a bigger chest then me (I'm small chested).. This is just some of what I want in a guy, but before I even look at any of these, I see if this person is a good person. I won't even sniff in someone's direction unless they are nice to (this includes everyone). Attraction builds from there.
Also, I'm kind of am a tom-boy... I was on the wrestling team, I love wrestling! I love driving fast and I love classic cars and working on mine... My mind is dirtier then most guys I know!: Steriotypical male behavior!-BUT I'm a girl... So in a guy I look for someone that is accepting of that. I'm glad my boyfriend wants to wrestle with me... It keeps the relationship interesting!
Just be you and see who bumps into you, then you'll know if you're what their looking for or not!
What i look for in a man is someone who can make me cheesy smile on tap.Someone who walks into the room and makes me go all tingly and warm I dont think that has anything to do with looks or body fat or whatever.I do understand how it feels to be pressured by the media's stereotypical view on what is attractive though.I have lost a lot of weight recently in a non-healthy way because of this,and i dont feel any better about myself.Dont do anything drastic or stupid because a magazine tells you to.When someone loves you for who you are they will be worth the wait and worth their weight in gold
Posts: 13 | From: Scotland | Registered: Oct 2002
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Aria, I love you!! Your response is amazing; You sound like a confident person, all around. Good for you. That's not saracastic, by the way (darn computer-convos).
In response to the original message posted- I tend to fall in love with guys' intellect! And I also love when guys take care of their bodies as I do. I like to eat yummy, healthy food and excercise; And finding people with these common interests is nice. However, everyone is different. Everyone has a body unique to their circumstance, beliefs, habits and mere existence. Take care
------------------ "It's something unpredictable but in the end is right i hope you had the time of your life"
i like geeky guys. i think as someone already mentions, what i love is nice, big, juicy, pumping... brains. seriously. to me, it's the SINGLE MOST important thing. another thing i've noticed; geeky guys are a lot more attentive to their partners than guys who think they're god's gift to women.
my boyfriend? he's a geek. not a bad looking geek, may i add. he's 6 and half feet tall, and he has the lanky body that usually accompanies unusually tall males. me? i'm 5'4, 130 lbs with a, well, rather well-rounded body. i'm no barbie. but from what every guy i've talked to has told me, most guys would rather sleep with a woman that reminds them of a pillow than one that reminds them of a coat hanger.
girls are, by and large, the same way. i like my men warm and cuddly. how they acheive this affect is of no important.
but your biggest tool is your personality. i've met guys who, right off the bat, i thought were attractive. but then i notice that their personality doesnt quite match up, and suddenly they seem quite ugly to me. coincidence? nah.
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