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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » he can do it... why cant i?

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Author Topic: he can do it... why cant i?
*hopelesslydevoted*
Neophyte
Member # 15619

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hey guys..

K i have a quick question. I started dating my boyfriend when i was 14. I had never masturbated before when we met and when we became sexual with each other i could orgasm easily. it is now 3 years later and we are still together and he can still make me orgasm, but we are in a long distance relationship and I am exploring well.. me more. Only problem is.. I can't make myself orgasm. He seems to have mastered it but no matter how i try its not working for me.. I keep comparing him to myself doin it. Do you think i am not able to because he did it first? Or because he has been doing it for so long? Any suggestions would be great Thans!


Posts: 16 | From: On, Can | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
odd_hobbit
Activist
Member # 14516

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It could be just psychological. When you touch yourself you know where your hand is going and what it is going to do, etc. but when your boyfriend does it it is a bit more of a surprise. Try tickling yourself. It isnt very easy. Some people just cant orgasm by masturbating, but thats okay.

------------------
-Rhianne
Space Cadet Glow


Posts: 40 | From: Purgatory | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kara Zor-El
Activist
Member # 14499

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Sometimes people get dependent on specific techniques or activities in order to reach climax. It would make sense that after three years with your boyfriend that this could be the case. You should continue to explore and learn about your own body, but you could also ask your boyfriend to talk you through it. That would also serve to keep your long distance relationship sexy and fresh.

Good luck, sweetie,
Kara


Posts: 123 | From: New York City | Registered: Aug 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
logic_grrl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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It's also worth bearing in mind that trying too hard to reach orgasm can actually make it much less likely that you actually will - the harder you try, the less able you are to relax and let it happen.

So it can be a good idea to just concentrate on enjoying yourself and finding out what feels good, and let the orgasms take care of themselves .


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*hopelesslydevoted*
Neophyte
Member # 15619

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thanks for the advice everyone. I dunno i tried again last night and i tried not to think about it as much and just let whatever happened happen, but i think its majorly psychological. I keep thinking omg this is me doing it, and thinking he can do things better. I dunno I'll keep trying and stuff but thanks to everyone for your advice
Posts: 16 | From: On, Can | Registered: Nov 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
duelist
Neophyte
Member # 14471

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Have you considered using a vibrator or water? The kind of stimulation one gets from either of those things is different from the kind one gets by using her fingers. And while a vibrator or the water is controlled by you in that you can stop whenever you want or adjust where it's concentrated, the actual stimulation is pretty much completely independent of you -- much like how it is when your boyfriend gives you an orgasm.

- Duelist

P.S. After reading all those scary posts about ebolisms, I feel I should remind you to never force water or air into your vagina as a means of masturbation; it's potentially dangerous. =0


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sexedrox
Neophyte
Member # 16062

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Another problem might be that ur brain is saying "no this is wrong" or something along those lines and then ur lower body can't reach an orgasm.. they have to work together!
Also try using toys and wat the other people recomended!
Good luck!

Posts: 39 | From: Toronto, Ont, Canada | Registered: Jan 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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