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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » my boyfriend...

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Author Topic: my boyfriend...
Member # 15754

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My boyfriend is 16 and is sexually active, as am i, but im 17 and i have only had sex with 18 and 19 year olds... those guys were able to stay hard for about 20 min. before coming, but my current boyfriend can only last for maybe 5 min. I know this is because he is young, but hes starting to get frustrated by this... is there any way i can help him from coming too soon?
Posts: 62 | From: New York | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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A good place to start is simply to not worry about it. Really.

There are lots of sexual activities that don't require an erection. Plenty of things that both of you can enjoy.

I'd also point out that there's no set length of time that an erection is "supposed to last". So saying he is "coming too soon" is really subjective to some extent. To put it simply, it's best to just toss out this notion of "too soon" because it's putting unnecessary pressure on both of you and rather to just accept that when he comes is when he comes. Because honestly if you just don't worry about it and stress about it, quite likely he'll eventually be able to maintain an erection for a longer period. With time and practice (so to speak) the "problem" will likely correct itself.

So just don't worry about it. Relax and focus on other things. You can try things like backing off/cooling down a bit when he gets close, and encorporating other sexual activities that don't require erections. If you're not using condoms, then I'd suggest trying that (they're a good idea anyway) to try to lessen the sensation a bit -- if you're already using them, you could try a thicker variety that might lessen the sensation a bit more (but I'd suggest staying away from any gels or lubricants that will extend erections by numbing the genitals - those are bad stuff).

Sarah Liz
Scarleteen Sexpert (and Labia Lady)

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 11055

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Do you normally stay in one position until he comes? A good thing to do is to change postitions when he is close to coming. When your bf feels he is getting close he can pull out and then you could try a new postition. Don't know alot? Make Kama Sutra your new best friend.

Posts: 81 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 8067

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BabyGrrl, I'd guess that what's effective here is the pulling out and waiting a few moments while you shift around - changing positions isn't likely to have any magical effect in itself.

Posts: 6944 | From: UK | Registered: May 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8964

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There are certain positions that will make your vagina feel tighter and make a guy cum faster. And there are other positions that will allow a guy to last for longer. But there's no certain position for everyone, you just need to try it out. Exploring new ideas makes sex a lot funner.
Posts: 338 | From: Livermore, CA | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 15771

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Well, my boyfriend never really seems to have issues with coming right away. What I noticed that he does is, is that when he's about to come, he stops thrusting entirely until he can "regain" his control, so to speak.

I hope this helps in any way, because I know it helps my darling last much longer than he should... heh.

~The Divine Phoenix~

"One must feel the universe in order to comprehend it." -Oni

[This message has been edited by Milke (edited 12-05-2003).]

Posts: 4 | From: Rio Rancho, NM USA | Registered: Dec 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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Just as a note; we have to be really careful to avoid sounding lascivious or overly-detailed here. Quite simply, while this is a sex education site, it's sex-ed aimed at minors, and thus, we have to make sure that everything here really is just educational, and not the sort of thing that's going to put off parents, or anyone else who might feel uncomfortable with explicit descriptions. While talking about sex while not talking sexy might sound like an oxymoron, it's very possible, and what's made this site a reliable, and trusted, source of information.

Milke, with an L, Mrs BD to you, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, WAOTA

. . .Fearing not that I'd become my enemy
In the instant that I preach

Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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