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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » loses erection

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Member # 12774

Icon 4 posted      Profile for CMTFlovesHAH     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi I have already used the search function and didn't find the answer to my question. And I also read the ED erectile dysfunction article.

My question is sometimes and it's been happening a lot more lately my boyfriend loses his erection either when he is inside of my vagina or right before penetration.

We don't understand why this is happening. Sometimes everything is fine and he keeps his erection. But now he loses it a lot more. He is seventeen years old and he has a lot of stress on him. I thought that might be one of the factors but if so why would he be thinking about stressful things before he is going to have sex?

He also said that with the condom on sometimes he can't tell when he is actually inside of me. And I have noticed that his penis responds more to oral sex (he never loses his erection during oral sex) than intercourse.

We both don't know what to make of this, please help.


Posts: 76 | From: NC, USA | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 5036

Icon 1 posted      Profile for DarlingBri     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post 
Hi there --

First of all, stress is a general body state. Even though your boyfriend may not be thinking stressful throughts while having sexual time with you, that doesn't mean he's not still physically experiencing stress, or that he's not subconciously experiencing mental stress. Sadly, it can't be turned off that easily.

Secondly, if he's having a difficult time around penetration but not during oral sex, then it could be related to performance anxiety. For example, he could actually be worried about his performance during intercourse or his ability to satisfy or "impress" you. Sadly, that's a cultural pressure that a lot of men experience around intercourse. In reality, intercourse isn't the gate to sexual nirvana for most women; few of us orgasm during intercourse alone, and most of us need manual or oral sex to climax.

It might help if he knew that, and if the focus during intercourse between the two of you switched from orgasm to intimacy.

Also, he may have performance anxiety because having had an un-cooperative penis at one time during intercourse, he fears it will happen again. That's stressful, and the cycle can kick off from there. Again, taking the focus off intercourse for a while can help.

Hope this helps,

Posts: 848 | From: London, UK | Registered: Aug 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 13973

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Me and my bf had the same problem for most of the summer, we refrained from sexual activity for a while, towards the end of the summer the problem had gone fo the most part. At the end of the summer he admitted to being worried about performance but never said so before *shrugs* Its all good now
Posts: 38 | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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