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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » A question for all the girls.....

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Author Topic: A question for all the girls.....
panda04
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My friend and I were discussing sex last night. So here is the question and answer it with you heart.

Is it possible to MAKE LOVE to someone WITHOUT being IN LOVE with that person? And without that person being in love with you? Does only one person have to be in love? Or does making love only require LOVE for that person?

Thanks!!!


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Heather
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(There a reason men can't answer this one, too?)
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frozendreams
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i would think that it is up to both people to decide if they were making love or not because different peoples ideas of making love could be totally two different things. so i would say that it just depends on the person.

to some people anytime they have sex (any kind) it would be making love and to others they may say that they have never made love.

i guess what im saying is that it depends if you are an emotional person or not.

[This message has been edited by frozendreams (edited 05-05-2003).]


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panda04
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No I guess guys could answer this too...of course they can. But thanks for the replies...I just hope I recieve more than 2
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ThunderCloud16
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from my point of view i say that it is better to be sleeping with someone who you love and who loves you in return. When you both love each other making love will be better. But on the other had you can still make love with someone who you really dont love at all, it sure isnt the best way but oh well
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The1andonlyAmber
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I love my Boyfriend, don't get me wrong, and he loves me.

But, (and I know this might sound strange) to me we rarely "make love", we have sex all th time, but only a few times have we both said afterwards wow that felt really different, like emotional.

That probably sounds weird but it happend to us!

So I guese what I'm saying is we're in love but we don't always make love, hmmm I don't think I've answered you question, only in a roundabout way!

------------------
Why is it that the person that makes you cry, is the only one who can make you stop.


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frozendreams
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that doesnt sound weird at all. thats how my hubby and i do it too.
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steph_14
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I don't believe people can make love while not being in love it's that special connection you have to have to make that step...like..for instense on that 50 cent song "im into having sex i ain't into making love" he means if i'm not in love with you it doesn' tmean anything...having sex is probably different in that category
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Heather
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That really depends on what those terms mean to you.

For instance, most couples I have known in my life, people who are in love, will use terms like "sex" and "making love" and "f*cking" to describe different KINDS of sexual energy they might have, such as "making love" being more romantic or quiet sex.

And some of us opt not to use all or any of those terms. To me, honestly "making love" just makes me think of old 70's songs, and were I to call sex that, it'd likely mean I'd be having sex with a whole lot of giggling and cheesy jokes involved.


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Milke
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quote:
To me, honestly "making love" just makes me think of old 70's songs, and were I to call sex that, it'd likely mean I'd be having sex with a whole lot of giggling and cheesy jokes involved.

Hey, you bring the mood lighting and over-sized-mostly-decorative ashtray, and I'll bring the Isaac Hayes records and cheap wine!

------------------
Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP, MF

I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to


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Cathexis
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I dunno... If you think about 'f**king', 'having sex' and' making love' as different things, I don't think you can make love to someone you don't..... love. (this sounds so... obvious)
But I think when it all comes down to it, it IS only sex, no matter what you feel - and yes, I've had a few times when it FELT different, when everything seemed more...meaningful. But the act itself was jus sex anyway...

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freakedout
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you make love with someone you're in love with...you have sex with a friend...and you fuck people who you don't care about, you just want to fuck 'em...seems simple enough, doesn't it?
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Milke
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Maybe, but that's not how I define things.

F***ing seems more carnal to me, making love more euphemistic, luuuuuv-making's definitely cheesy, and sex is somewhere in between, and the clearest way of saying it.

------------------
Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP, MF

I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to


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Aileen_Asphodel
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Put simply, I love very few people. Make that three--- maaaybe. I'm clinically 'antisocial', meaning that I socialize, but I don't really feel empathy, and I don't really care deeply. I love my Mom, of course, and I care about my best friend.

I love and am in love with my boyfriend, and I consider our sex making love, at least when I'm in a romantic mood.

I don't think that it's a neccessity to be in love with someone to have sex with them. But I do think that it feels a lot better-- just thinking about him enjoying himself makes me feel good-- where, in a purely sexual relationship, all you have is nature to keep you going. If that's what you like, go for it.

But to answer your question, no, I don't think that you can make love to someone you don't love, because there isn't an emotional, or mental connection. That is, all intercourse isn't sexual-- if you can't enjoy a long conversation with them, what's to say that your sex would be any more emotionally involving?


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