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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Death

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Author Topic: Death
PsychoGirl
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Member # 10602

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My boyfriend's dad passed away on April 2nd. My boyfriend acts as though nothing happend. He's happy as normal... but at the funeral he was a wreck. I know he's going though denial, and I know it will take him a while to heal (he only lives with his dad, his mom moved out a while ago). I'm worried, still. I don't know how to comfort him. I feel so helpless. It seems that all I can do is listen and hold him when he cries. What eles can I do? I feel like I have to do somthing. All I want is for him to be happy. How can I help him?
Posts: 85 | From: Illinois, USA | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
AlwaysWorried
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Sometimes listening and holding them when they cry is the best thing you can do. It's a comfort just to know someone is there for you.
Posts: 125 | From: Leicestershire, England | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
bettie
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Grief and coming to some sort of acceptance of the lost of a loved one takes time. My father died some years ago and I still occasionally cry. I started feeling like my old self again after a couple of years had passed. I took part in a grief counselling workshop at my church and that helped immensely.

In terms of my everyday life, what I found best is to have people just listen to me when I wanted to talk. No advice, no comments were really needed (and they often are frustrating). Offering help in other areas of life (cooking, cleaning, running errands) can be very helpful in the early stages of a loss and grief.

So what you are doing sounds like the right thing to me. Good luck.

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Posts: 1060 | From: Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
celery
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He's obviously hurt but just not showing it. All you can do pretty much is to be there for him when he's upset about it, and just be extra nice for a while and give him lotsa hugs and kisses so he knows that he's not alone on this, and he has someone he can turn to when he's upset.
Posts: 1000 | From: Canada | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PsychoGirl
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Yes, I understand that all he needs is someone to listen to him, but I still feel that I could do more. Its so depressing to see the gloom in his eyes while he laughs and acts so normal. I know he's not over his fathers death as fast as he claims to be. I talk to him everyday as usual and try my best to listen to him whenever he talks about his dad, or anything eles, for that matter. I donno... Thanks for the replys
Posts: 85 | From: Illinois, USA | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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