I know this sounds odd, but I have a strange phobia of the penis. Whenever I'm doing sexual activity with a guy, I'll never pleasure him, because I'm so scared of the penis. Is this uncommon? Another problem I have, is that I'm ALWAYS horny. I'm a strong Christian and I don't think what I do is right a lot of the times and I try not to, but the urges drive me insane! Does this add up to a dietary problem or are there anyways to control this? Thanks!
Posts: 2 | From: Vancouver, Washington, USA | Registered: Jul 2001
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You should not do ANYTHING that you're not comfortable with honey, really. It's okay to feel uncomfortable with performing sex acts, and it's more than okay to say "no, I'm not going to do this because I'm uncomfortable." I wouldn't be surprized if your distaste for the penis stems from the fact that you are not exploring your sexuality in a way that feels right to you.
There is nothing wrong with feeling aroused, or "horny" quite a lot- in fact it's quite normal, especially during the teenage years. It's certainly not anything in your diet! In order to help with this, I'd suggest you try masturbating, which can relieve any sexual tension you are feeling in a private, safe environment.
Do you know why you are afraid of penises? I can understand discomfort with the idea of them... but scared? (actually they can scare me if i dont know where they have been...)
Religous beliefs are often opressive to sex and make MANY people feel guilty for what they are doing, or what they want to do. Masturbation is a great idea, however some people believe that is wrong too (i couldnt imgain ) I am all for religion and spirituality but i am not sure that it should be at the expense of someone's happiness. Religion is meant to make you feel comfortable and secure, not guilty. It is time to either say no to sex, or decide that 2000 year old rules about sex are just not right for you. (remember also that the rules in the bible were written because of societies view on sex to protect people from harm which still can be understood today)
If you dont think its right then just dont do it (practice with me "No I am not comfortable with this" or "No, this isnt right"). But if you are saying it is wrong only because of what you were taught perhaps you should do a little more thinking.
I dont mean to attack Christianity. And i am sorry if what i said came off as me degrading your religion. I really do not mean it that way. What i am trying to say is that you need to make a decision on whether you are going to fallow your religion or if you are going to fallow your hormones.
I might be able to help. I'm a strong Christian too. And I don't think masturbation is wrong. I don't agree with the reasons above, but we have the same conclusion, so I'm not going to debate here. There is nothing in the Bible specifically against masturbation. And if you're familiar with Dr. Dobson, he even supports it. I think people are too uncomfortable with their sexuality, and while I don't think it's only cause of religion, it's a part of it. God knows you're horny. He made you that way. Of course, to protect you, he also set boundaries for you to follow. Masturbation is a healthy way for you to explore your sexuality without having to worry about getting pregnant or a disease. You can find out what you like and what you don't. Then you can tell some wonderful guy you find yourself with someday what you like and what you don't. I used to feel really guilty and ashamed about masturbating. But after thinking it through, I don't think God sees anything wrong with it.
As for your phobia, I think what was said before is right on. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. You'll regret it later. But if it's actually a phobia you might want to consider talking to a professional. You might be blocking out some sort of trauma you need to deal with before you can become comfortable with a penis. And why rush things anyway? Take your time, and enjoy your innocence. There's no rush for anything.
beau_ailes..I know how you feel. I always get a little edgy, but I think that it's mostly because one it isn't mine (duh..I'm a girl) and also, because I'm not always around one. My small fear of it comes more from a feeling that I might end up violating the person that I'm with (although I'm sure that he wouldn't protest). I've very very uncomfortable though when the guy that I'm being intimate with actually picks up my hand and places it on his. I think that's rather uncalled for. I'd prefer it if some men told their partners what to do to them instead of just trying to take control of those situations.
------------------ "1970 called. Al Pacino wants his car back."
Posts: 354 | From: san mateo, california, usa | Registered: Jun 2001
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Awhile back I felt this way too. I realized that it was because I just wasn't ready at the time to do anything sexual. Just because you feel like your "horny" doesn't mean you are necessaruly ready to engage in sexual acts. There are other ways of dealing with it.. and in time, you'll probably get over it like I did.
------------------ "I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal" ~Incubus
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