[sorry if the subject is spelled wrong, but that is a long word ]
Well, those who who read my posts in the past few months, might have noticed that I seem to be always down, not necessarily in a bad mood, but just depressed about everything. I first thought it was a consequence of a break-up, mixed with a phase that all teenagers (are supposed to) have, but as this goes on for a few months now, I was beginning to think I needed professional therapy, I felt I really needed some help. I didn't want my parents to know I thought I was suffering from depression though, so I was trying to find a way to get to a doctor (cost-wise).
Then today, I was at home when my mother arrived. She had just been at the gym. There were some people and she heard a conversation of two women, one was a therapist. They were talking about this boy, and my mum said when they were talking about him, that she thought "that's really like my daughter". And then she approached the therapist and had a talk.
The therapist said that most people with high IQ's have an umbalanced EQ (I'm not sure what that is, but I'd say Esteme Quoficient maybe), so they need to be treated so that in the future they won't find problems... My mum said I should see her, because I seemed to have that umbalance thing. (It's actually quite hard to explain, since I speak a different language and I'm not sure of some medical words).
I was like pretending I didn't understand what therapy was about, and pretending I didn't want much to go, but I was really "happy" in a way I finally was going to see someone who would help me.
I'm not so used to going to the doctors, with the exception of the dentist, because my father himself is a doctor and whenever we need one he just calls one of his friends.
So I don't know what is expected from me, and what should I expect from therapy. I have the feeling maybe I'm building false hopes of what it may do to me, because I'm so willing to get better and feel happy again.
I'd like to hear what you think, or any personal experiences... did therapy help you in any way? Or is it like a fake help that makes you feel "better" with yourself but you are still as you were before? I'm a bit afraid of that...
Thanx for all the input!
Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000
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Wow, hon. I'm glad that you were sort of able to realize this about yourself so that you weren't completely shocked by your mom's suggestion.
"EQ" as I understand it is like the emotional version of IQ, i.e. they're saying you do not really know how to handle emotions in the same way you know how to take a test. It might also be "Esteem" but I think self-esteem just kind of bundles into all of that. I am not a doctor though, or a psychologist (although I will be eventually...I think...hehe...), so I'm not exactly sure I am right on this one. It's kind of a buzzword and who knows what they really mean.
Anyway, as for therapy...I have been in and out myself. My mother first suggested I go into group therapy "to fix my problem of not knowing how to deal with people." Later in my life she has denied this. Anyway, my father managed to find someone who he knew I'd like so I got out of group therapy and it really did help me. Eventually I decided that I didn't need it anymore but I went back into therapy recently. One VERY good thing about college is the availability of therapists on campus who parents are not going to find out you are seeing. I say this because my mom eventually became paranoid that I was telling people bad things about her (this has been a big theme in my life with her) and encouraged me not to go. But I feel that I am being an adult, here, by realizing that I do have things I need to sort out and that therapy really does help me.
There is a possibility that you and this therapist will not mesh. There is always that possibility, and I've experienced it once, and it is horrible and it may make you think that you don't need this help... I would give you the advice that, although that really is a pain, and can be somewhat discouraging, DON'T give up on it. You need to find the person who will work for you. There are tons of different therapists out there using tons of different methods and even if you have a bad experience one time, it won't always be like that.
I think that the key here is that you yourself know that therapy may very well help you and for that reason you really should stick with this decision, because it's true to what you want for yourself, and wanting to be helped is a really big step. I think you will find that therapy is helpful if you find the right person to talk to.
I've been in therapy for years. I quit about six months ago because it was one of the most useless things I've ever done. It didn't help, not one bit. I'd go in, rant at her, and 99% of the time she'd agree that my feelings and thoughts about a situation were correct. Utterly useless. Being told I'm right, however nice it may be, isn't going to make my depression go away or fix my family situation.
(Okay, so that's not entirely true. It did help, in a sense -- the therapist told me that even though I wasn't like most other people, there was nothing wrong with me, and that even though the administrators at my high school were convinced I was a murderous sociopath (courtesy of post-Columbine hysteria), I really wasn't. But neither of those things were why I was in therapy in the first place, and don't really justify giving up an hour of my time every week for four years.)
Your mileage may vary, though. That was just my experience -- other people find therapy to be very helpful.
------------------ To the rational mind there can be no offense, no obscenity, no blasphemy, but only information of greater or lesser value. -- Jennifer Diane Reitz
[This message has been edited by Lynne (edited 06-05-2001).]
Therapy is definitely what you make of it. See, becaues I was in therapy for a little over a year and was put on Prozac and with al of that I noticed huge improvements. I would say that it all has to do with how much you actually want to get better. A therapist can only help you as much as you let them (that means that you have to open up to them if you want them to see what's really the matter). On the other hand, my boyfriends sister was in therapy for close to two years and she never really opened up to her doctor and so she never really got better. I would advice you to tell them everything, to be opened with them and trust that they really do want you to get better... but I wish you all the best!
Posts: 32 | From: Sacremento, CA, USA | Registered: Feb 2001
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Yes, EQ is Emotional Quotient, but if I were you I'd do a bit of reading before taking what the therapist said to heart. IQ testing itself isn't always the best way to determine intelligence- it gives you a marker of where you stand on a culturally defined scale, and can be useful in determining mental retardation and extremely high intelligence, but it is affected by culture and environment, etc. Now if that's the case with IQ, I'd imagine that it would be worse with EQ- from the little I know of it, it seems like a way to determine whether your culture thinks you are emotionally balanced, and that scares me a little, because I have, in the past, had people want to "treat" me for emotional problems that I just didn't have.
Please remember, however, that I'm not well read on this topic- that's why I encourage you to do some reading of your own- that's just my gut reaction, but I'm certainly no psychologist.
And all that aside, I do think that it might be useful for you to try therapy if you're feeling depressed all the time. You can shop around to find a therapist that you like, and one could really help you out.
[This message has been edited by Beppie (edited 06-04-2001).]
Thaks for all your replies, they kind of made me more comfortable with the therapy going thing
My mother talked with this therapist (like in an informal way), and she really liked her, she seemed professional and has a lot of experience. I can't say if I'll like her before meeting her, but if I don't mesh with her I'll tell my mother and I'm sure she'll help me find another one. The greatest thing about this is that my mother realised it could do me some good (although I think she hasn't totally realised I really needed help). And having her knowing about it and helping me has really boosted my mood... I was getting even more depressed as days went by and I still didn't know what to do and who to seek for help... I feel the 1st step is made... I just hope I'll go there soon and everything goes well!!
Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Lynne: I've been in therapy for years. I quit about six months ago because it was one of the most useless things I've ever done. It didn't help, not one bit. I'd go in, rant at her, and 99% of the time she'd agree that my feelings and thoughts about a situation were correct. Utterly useless
thats the point of therapy. u go, talk to someone who doesnt care and sort things out for yourself! once uve sorted it out, u realize that u dont need em nemore and u move on. THAT IS THE POINT!
It sounds like you may indeed be clinically depressed, although your theripast would be in a much better position to tell than I would from just reading a posting. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of, it can be either situational(ie temporary due to life stress), or long term. It is ultimately caused by not enough of a brain chemical called seritonin (although there are many things that can cause the level of seritonin in your brain to drop). Therapy is indeed what you make of it. I am a big beliver in seritonin uptake inhbitors (Prozac, Zyloft, Paxil) talk to your theripast about getting a Rx for one of them. Prozac has worked wonders for me, side effects are pretty minimal, mostly some minor GI problems which can be alliviated by making sure you take it with food, and the occasional tums. However, don't expect immediate improvement since it takes at least a week for it to kick in.
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