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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Parents???

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Author Topic: Parents???
Member # 3873

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Hey Everyone!

Well i was just wondering what everyone thinks about his/her girlfriend/boyfriends parents?
I mean does your partner hide you in the closet when their parents get home?
Do the parents even know that you are dating?

What do you think a parents role should be in the relationships of their children?

I mean i know that my mum and my boyfriends parents are COMPLETELY different! his parents let me stay the night in his bed and his mum even told me what turns her on and when she first had sex. My mum on the other hand will flip if i even kiss my boyfriend on the cheek (she thinks i sleep on the couch). I mean what do you all think?

And what are your parents like? Do your parents not care as long as you are safe?

Thanks, i was just wondering about this subject and i find it intreging.

Love ME!!!!!~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~~<3

Posts: 7 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 3448

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ah, the joy of ur other halfs parents. funily enough, i went over to adams house for the first time yesterday. he met my mum before we went out, 13 weeks ago, i met his mum about a week later and finally his dad yesterday. his mums dead nice to other people but a bitch to him apparently(i think hes finally gettin really pissed off now) and his dad, well im not so sure what to think. ads slept over my house coz we was gonna go cinema and it finished late, so he told his parents this and it was fine. we ended up not going cinema but obviously he stayed ne way. his parents found out we dint go cinema yesterday and his dad told him he was an arsehole, in front of me. i think thats so cruel. my mum said she'd never call me names, she doesnt think its right. im not saying parents who do should be shot, just mine wouldnt. ads gets on quite well wif my parents, hes here quite a lot. well, there ya go
Posts: 43 | From: Uk | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
exit seraphim
Member # 2566

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my mom and stepdad really like my boyfriend. he's sweet and polite and a wonderful guy so there's no reason why they shouldn't.

i don't really converse with his stepdad, and i know that they don't get along, and i've never really chatted with him, but his mom is sweet. I went with him on friday to his little cousin's birthday party and met his cousin that is our age and his aunts and uncles and kick-a** relatives.

He came to Passover when we fist started going out awhile ago, and on Memorial Day came with me to this family bbq. my parents, mark, my brother and i were the youngest people there...everyone else was in their 80's, but surprisingly, they were all not too afraid to talk about their sex lives! *g*

Mark and his family are originally from the Phillippines, i like learning about his culture. It's one of the coolest parts of our relationship. He's really into his heritage. When we went to the bday party, his mom bought this filipino cake called, macupuno ensayada to give to my's yummy.

so yeah....i think i'll stop now hehe....

but the big thing is, i think that if you show your parents respect, theyll give it to you gradually...and going behind their back isn't the best way of getting your freedom.

i think being honest about your relationship is a key thing too. a parent should be involved and know whats going on, cos they should be the first ones you go to if anything happens, and if you need to talk to someone about something (ie, buying condoms, pregnancy, birthcontrol, aggressive behavior, uncomfortable situations, etc)


Posts: 142 | From: H*Ton, NY | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Starry Night
Member # 3476

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Well, my boyfriend told his dad about us first, then neglected to tell his mom for whatever reason until I really got on his case about it. His mom thinks he's an angel and is nice to me although I think she's got that feeling that nobody's good enough for her son.

I met his sister (who's in college) and the rest of his family who lives in NY (we're in a LDR for now, CT and I'm in FL) about 3 weeks ago and his grandma, aunt and uncle love me, and his sister is amazingly cool.

My parents treat him super well and are happy as long as I'm happy, but my mom's been picking up on some weird things about him lately which I'm happy about (ie possessiveness, etc). All in all, we all get along and I feel pretty comfy staying at his house, and he feels cushy at mine, too.

Posts: 164 | From: U.S.A. | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 1679

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Well actually, his parents don't even know I exist. I believe that situation is going to be remedied shortly, but currently they don't know. I don't know exactly how I feel about that. I think that at this point (we've known each other for a year and a half, and have been together for almost 4 months now), and since his siblings know, that it's only fair for his parents to know too. I'm rather afraid of them not liking me, but then the way he feels about me isn't based on whether or not they like me. So I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

And as far as what my parents think, well they're not completely thrilled with us as a couple, but they've also never met him. I think alot of it for them is just that the entire situation is very unknown to them.

But as far as being allowed to sleep in the same room, my parents would never allow it. I'm not entirely sure about how his parents would feel about it.


the kittenblog

"Follow me or perish, sweater monkeys!"
~from 'Bring It On'

[This message has been edited by KittenGoddess (edited 06-03-2001).]

Posts: 7316 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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Member # 568

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well, my folks think he's an okay guy. his folks seem to like me okay. his dad cracks me up. and his mom is just such a ... mom! cooks and everything. he's a little unnerved by what i think are just cultural differences. it's not that my folks don't like him, they just have a different way of doing things, that's all.

but our families are pretty similar in the respect that they won't let us near each other. no touching. no kissing. and god forbid they should ever find out we've had sex scandalous!

i use angst

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 852

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well my mums cool with cazzz staying over at my house and sleeping with me
but her mum and dad (more her mum than dad) have real problems with me and her
cazzzs' mum shouts at cazzz (but not in-front of me anymore) about us HUGGING when there is anyone else in the room
she will not leave me adn cazzz alown in the house and i am not alowed into cazzzs' room ever!
I am not so shure about her dad, he is nice to me and chats and seems cool, but sometimes when me and cazzz are hugging in the conservitory (so that her mum don't moan) he will come in and say "stop that you two". I always thought he was just joking (he says it asif he is) but cazzz says that he is being seriouse (spelling?)
it really seems a bit silly because they are ok with cazzz staying over at my house and going to partys and stuff I think its because they have another daughter shes 14 (going on 40) this summer, and if it was that i just wish that they would say but they just shout at cazzz and make her feel dirty for even hugging me!
It realy doesn't help cazzz seeing as she is taking her A-level exams atm and she gets realy stessed.
anyway its going to get better soon cos she can drive and i have a car that she can use whenever she wants to get out of the house.
The realy funny thing is - her mum is one of the most, how can i put this, rude? no, ok she talks about blatantly sexual topics and comments about peoples sexual tendancys in-front of her youger daughter, and then has the ordasity of saying that we should not even hug never mind kiss infront of cazzzs' little sistor because its somehow "dirty"
it realy pisses me off
don't get me started!

Posts: 101 | From: truro cornwall england | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 2340

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At first my parents didn't like my boyfriend, becusae he's 2 years older than me, but they got used to the idea. Now they don't really care. My mom helped me go on the Pill and showed me how to use condoms and all that.

His parents on the other hand are very different. My b/f decided that his mom should know we are sexually acitve. So he told her and she started crying and flipping out. His mom doesn't like it when we cuddle around her. I don't know why she's so worried about it, but I do my best to respect her wishes and keep hands off.


Posts: 286 | From: Ames, IA | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4006

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well, right now i am not in a relationship, but when i am in one i dont really feel obligated to tell my mom. she trusts me and we definately let each other have space. if i ever did want to tell her she would be more than glad to listen and help though. i think this is just me not really treating a relationship that seriosuly
Posts: 141 | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1548

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well i guess i havent had a bf for a while but when i do my mum knows and shes perfectly fine with it i guess im 'allowed' to do n e thing i want really except for sex she just doesnt want me to get pregnant or get n e stds very sensible lady.
i suppose its cause she deals with stds evfery day in her line of work ( sexual health doc).
when ive had a bf ive never really met their parents excfept briefly and when i have ive been my little chraming self the i am to all parents.
so yeha basically my lifes prettye asy there and theres no problems. for which i tell u i am grateful for.
luv Claire

Posts: 82 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2176

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My 'rents seem to like my boyfriend, but they're super sensitive about sex and stuff but they won't reallysay anything if he was at my house when they weren't home. They let me sleep at his house and stuff too.
His rents don't seem to like the fact that he's with me, eventhough they act as if they like me. I used to sleep on his couch sometimes, and twice in his bed, and then he told them we were having sex, and they spazzed out.

both 'rents are just weird about sex.

Personally i think when it comes to relationships parents should behave more like friends, becuase thats what you need to make everything easier for you. Not more problems to work through.

Posts: 162 | From: NYC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2709

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LOL.. my parents are weird about the whole sex thing too. They like my boyfriend (hehe, he's been around long enough now, I told them they better get used to him.), just not the thought of him touching me or kissing me or having sex with me. I tried to tell them once that we were thinking about it, and they flipped and told his mom- who didn't really care. I like her, I used to be afraid, but now I really do like her. She's cooler than my parents, but I suppose everyone thinks that about someone. I just keep my sex life quiet now. No need for them to know. Oh well. Communication can't be perfect.

"Those who don't got it, can't show it. And those who got it, can't hide it."

Posts: 121 | From: Some random suburb.. | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2059

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My parents are pretty cool about the whole thing. They like Ben a lot - he's a friendly guy, very easy to get along with.

His dad lives pretty far away (his parents are divorced) and I've only met him once, but he seemed nice enough. Ben lives with his mom, and she's a sweetie. So I guess we're all pretty happy.

My parents don't know we're havng sex, I don't think. I don't think they'd be too pleased about it. But they did let me sleep at his dorm a bunch of times. So i guess I don't really know what they think! His mom must know by now, seeing as we're usually at his house. She's cool about it though, she doesn't say anything to either of us and she leaves us alone. She put a female condom and some regular condoms in the linen closet, but it would be sketchy if we used them. lol


But I want to turn you on, turn you up, figure you out, I want to take you on. -REM

Posts: 786 | From: Washington, DC | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
short stuff
Member # 3415

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Hey everyone!

I think that my boyfriend's parents are the coolest. They are so laid back, yet they are protective. They always try to make me feel comfortable at family gathering's I go to with him.

I remember once at a track meet, my mom had asked his mom what she thought about when he broke up with me, she was like "I was so mad at him for doing that to her. And he has been avoiding me too." When my mom told me that, I was like, "wow. she really does care about me and think of me other than just another one of her son's girlfriends"

I think parents should play important role in relationships, either as just a little influence or showing that they care. I'm glad my parents supposrt my relationship.. (at least semi support it.. i know they disapprove of whom I'm with now) But parents have such a big influence in their child's life whether it be school or whatever, and relationship should be one too.

(heart) always, torrance

*so you stole my world, now i'm just a phony*
*i need to know if you were real, i'd hate to think that i've been fooled again*

Posts: 90 | From: seattle, washington, usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 4173

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Nopers my parents don't know I have a bf or that we are going out and no his parents don't know either..
y? beacuase our parents are really religious
and they don't think we should go out till we are 18 but we love eachother so much.his parents found out we madeout and he is grounded right now :-(
well g2g


Posts: 14 | From: norton,Ohio,USA | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 2748

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Well, let's see here, after a little while of hiding our relationship from my parents (because that would involve telling them that I'm seeing a girl and that I'm gay) I finally had to bite the bullet and tell. They're just fine with it. A little shocked, but they told me that they can't do anything to change it and it's my life to live so ... have fun. Once that was cleared up, it was all good. My parent's are slightly crazy (that's where I get it from) and really funny and just love kids so my g/f says that she feels welcome at my house. Her mom knew about us for a looooong time before my parents did and she didn't care. She pretty much said "Go you" to her daughter because she [her mom] is gay, too. And I get along really well with her. We have a little competition going on between us of whose better at SET (anyone ever heard of that game? Best Game Ever.) So, yeah, we all get along just fine.
Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 1624

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well, ryan is still not my boyfriend but we've met each others parents already. we'll start with mine.
ryan met my mom when he picked me up for our first date, she thought he was "really cute!". then when he picked me up for my prom he brought my mom a rose. she absolutely loved that! she still has it, it's all dried up! he met my dad too, my dad tried to be intimidating.. but wasn't, he likes him. then he met my 24 year old brother and 3 year old nephew before his prom and well, my brother approved (thank god! haha)
as for his family, they love me. they tell me about what he says about me and all that good stuff. his mom is sooo sweet, she hugs me all the time, his dad is super nice, his one grandma is a sweet little old lady that has a huge barbie collection and his other grandma is loud and likes to fix drinks for people! i met his 24 year old frat boy brother (nothing like my brother!) at his openhouse and he was drunk... but he likes me! haha...
so we get along with each other's families and i'm happy! yay!

" Life move pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris Bueller

Posts: 183 | From: ohio, usa | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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