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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Fat? (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Fat?
Altoid103
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Has anyone else noticed that the girls who complain the most about being "fat" are the ones who are really skinny. It pisses me off so much when someone half my size complains about how she's so fat. If this person considers herself fat, then that would make me obese or something. I'm not even that fat, I'm 5'5" and 128, but it makes me uncomfortable when really skinny girls who are a lot thinner than me say they're fat. Does anyone else feel the same way?
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Heather
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I am only bothered when someone calls themselves "fat" if:

1) They see it as something negative or derogatory and it makes them feel bad or they use it to make others feel bad, or
2) If they clearly are nothing close to obese, and thus their perception of themselves is radically different from reality and may reflect very low-self esteem on their part or an eating disorder or body dysmorphic disorder.

I'd suggest that why that tends to bother people for reasons other than those (namely, concern for the person who views themselves as that way negatively) is because they feel that if someone smaller than them defines themselves as fat then --oh, gasp! -- they must be fat, too. Worth thinking about. Do bear in mind that there are plenty of people who ARE fat who don't see it as a negative at all.

There are actually medical standards for obesity, and they're pretty fair. For the record, 128 pounds even with a fine-boned frame at 5'5 is actually lower than national averages for height and weight.


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SoupPrincess
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I dont think we should be getting mad at people who think they are fat when they arnt really. When I listen to someone complain about their weight (believe it or not my parents both constantly complain that they are fat when they arnt) I mostly just feel bad that our society has convinced them that they need to weigh 100 lbs to look good.

One time I went shopping at Contempo Casual, and none of the clothes their would fit me because my boobs were too big. I weigh about 120 lbs. and im about 5'4' I realize now that that is a good weight to be, but at the time I was so upset that the clothes wouldnt fit that I thought I was the fattest person in the world. I think that stores like Contempo should make their sizes more realistic for the teenage girls that shop their though, whenever I go to another store it takes me a while to remember that I dont wear a size 12

I think that there are a lot of things like that that can make thin people feel fat, and that it is a very sad fact of life.


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glitter695
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Im one of those people, I guess, People look at themself differently then someone else. I see my self naked and thats y I call myself *bigg* when Im really not, my friends get madd at me for sayin it, and when I say im fat around my boyfriend he woont even talk to me until I say im not fat, (hes a big silly)(but its okay if he says hes fat, when hes not FAT at all) but thats how I feel. Im 5'1 and 111 lbs, not fat or obese or anything, but thats the way I feel sometimes, everyone has there *fat* days and the days where they think they look fab. Its how people see there own bodys.

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"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!


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LilBlueSmurf
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*sigh* ... The never ending fat issue ...

Why does this matter so much? Why do girls care so much about appearance that they make themselves physically sick? I dunno, but i know i've done it a few times ... hmm...

My mom was anorexic when she was little ... and she's told me a few times that she still is. She says this is a never ending thing from her, but for her to stay healthy, she has to stay away from mirrors. So guys/girls, if you think you're fat but your doc hasn't told you to lose any weight ... forget about it! (that's saying you go for a physical every year like you're supposed to ... hmm?)

I feel sorry for people who think they're overweight when they're not. My boyfriend is the same way!! He constantly complains about his pouch, but when i do the same (all girls have a "pouch" somewhat right? I keep saying I'm waiting for "roo" to hop in lol), he gets mad at me!! I'm kinda worried about him cuz he obsesses about excercizing and eating right and stuff ... But he's in karate (he's a brown belt hehe) so i guess he's just trying to stay fit right? And he has a big tournament next August that he's going to Japan for ... hmm ... I'm just worried about him i guess. I don't want him turning anorexic too *sigh*


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Pixie69
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I used to complain to one thin friend about another thin friend who always complained she was fat. Well thin friend numero uno just giggled and said "well I know I'm skinny so I won't complain I'm fat" and then that kinda annoyed me too because she sounded pretty arrogent when she said it. So I've decided I just don't like people saying anything about their weight unless they're just saying that they're happy with it.

Me, I'm 5'3" and I'm steadily going down from a 130 (now I'm 124, and don't worry I'm doing it the healthy way, eat less empty-calories and excersise more...actually I'm not even excersising any more, just stopping with all the twinkies and coke) I used to consider myself fat (before I was 130) but it's like, no I'm not fat, I got my period in fifth grade which means I'm more likely to have big hips and I *do* have big hips and a tiny waist in comparison but I don't care, I'm happy with how I look.

And for all those thin chicks that complain they're fat, I feel sorry for them because I'd say most of the time they a: have a distorted body image and low self esteem, or b: are just fishing for people to say "oh but you're so thin! I wish I were you" I just try not to let it phase me and say "brittany, just be happy that you're happy with yourself.

And even if I am *sound* overweight no one believes when I say how much I weigh, muscle weighs more than fat

Brittany

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I'm the good girl that everyone thinks is a bad girl pretending to be a good girl :D


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StarryRedhead
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This is one of the reason I stopped reading all those girlie magazines! I went through anorexia when I was in 8th grade because some silly boy that I had a crush on called me fat. It also had to do with being depressed, but being called "fat", when actually when I look back I wasn't "fat", pushed me over the edge. So I get very upset when I see young girls reading all those magazines. There's TONS of little ads that say things like, "Get the perfect body!" "How to look GREAT in that bikini!" "Exercise tips to get the shape you want!" Not to mention all the skinny models! And it makes me just plain sad that 11, 12, 13 year old girls believe all that stuff (I know they do cause so did I at one point).

I have the classic big hips thing, always have, I got my period earlier than most girls in my class and matured physically faster too....so I was very uncomfortable with myself for a long time. Now I still get guys who call me chubby, I weigh 110lbs. and am 5'1", anything less I might disappear!

Everyone has a different body shape, what's skinny for me might be considered chubby on someone else. I'm not sure if this makes sense, but it does to me! What I finally learned is that, I'm short, too pale, have wide hips, boobs, and am more athletic looking, which is why some may consider me chubby. But, it doesn't bother me anymore because this is the way I look and I've learned to like it! Sometimes you don't realize what a great feeling it is to actually accept and enjoy everything about yourself, even the little spots you wish you could fix, hehe.

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}{*Starry Ali*}{
"You flicker. And you're beautiful. You glow inside my head. You hold me hypnotized, I'm mesmerized..."
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playingbyheart
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I admit to calling myself fat because sometimes if other people tell me i'm not it makes me feel less overweight. Actually, i don't think i'm overweight anymore. I went on this diet at the end of august... i was about 154/155 then and now i was down to 145lbs until i got mono and that brought me down to about 143/142 in the past week or so, but i'm betting that will go back up to 145 as soon as i get healthy again. For me, I feel fat because my dad constantly makes comments about my weight... even though he is extremly obese and diabetic and barely watches his weight... this summer i was really depressed and semi- attempted to kill myself (well, it wasn't much of an attempt but since i'm not too knowledgeable about the true affect of drugs, i ended up taking more of a few too many than an overdose but i went to the hospital by choice because i was freaking out and i thought i was going to die and at the hospital my father and i had a long talk about how we both need to loose weight so i promised him i would if he would try too... so i went on this low carb /vegan diet thing and it was SO hard but it actually worked so it made me feel good about having control over my weight finally. And then, a month or two later my dad commented on how i was looking a lot better w/ my face slimming out. And I did get a little less pudgy but i don't see that much of a drastic difference. I still see a round fat face and big bulging belly. I'm not fat but i'm not a good body shape either. - But i was happy with my weight to some extent. I felt that i was at a good weight for my height and that i should excersise to maybe get rid of my stomach fat and that my fat pudge was just my bones and i'd have to give up on that... but then i got sick with mono and lost a few more lbs and i guess my face began to get even less pudgy than before. So my dad decided to tell me that i'm really looking better now... and then asked if i lost much weight being sick and I said that i had actually just gained a pound (since i was 142 that morning and was 143 that night)... and then he said "good for you... you should be 135 pounds." Well, i went to the couch, lied down and cried. I know i shouldn't let what he says affect me so much especially since he's no health expert but it really hurts when i'm trying so hard to loose weight (w/out being anorexic or anything) and i don't know if i can loose that much more... maybe i'm not supposed to... i think i'm in the normal weight range for my age/height now (which is 16 going on 17, 5'3 and a halfish)-- but i can't help but feel fat when both my parents constantly make remarks about my weight or how i eat... my mom isn't as bad as my dad about all this-- she doesn't really care what i weigh although she'll say comments when she takes pictures of me (she's a photoholic) so it's little things like "hold your stomach in" or "look down so you don't have such a round face" or- your stomach ruined that picture.

So this is why I, personally, feel fat.

And I apologize to everyone for whining about it over and over again since it doesn't make me any skinnier anyway.

But i don't care what the world thinks about me... i just feel like i've dissapointed my parents in every way and i can't even look decent.

Not that i was ever perfect...

i'm never gonna be close to it.


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Gumdrop Girl
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took me 20 years, but i'm happy with my body. i put up with the fat comments. i dealt with bulimia. to hell with it all, i'm happy now. i have a good shape. i'm healthy. i'm curvy. i say, if it's not doing serious damage to your health, then don't worry about it.

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Maurice! Bring in the albinos! muwahahahahaha!!!


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Zootie
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This subject more than any other hits closest to home. Fat? We are all Fat? The human body is made up of an amazing amount of lipids. Every from your skin on down as one form of fat or another built in as in intrigal part of the whole. Your organs sit happily nested in a warm fluffy layer of fat, the axons of your neves work so well becuase they are covered in a protective layer called a myolin sheath. Much like insolating wire. But its not that fat that drive people nuts, it our protective padding, our portable refrigerator, the winter stores we pack around in the most hienous of places, that cause the disgrunteld moans and groans. The sad thing of it all? Its all soceity based, only severe obesity is harmful to your health, the rest is mostly malarky. Women and girls today are constantly inundated with images of the ideal woman, and even those change from magazine to magazine, first is a tall almost alien looking creature, 6 foot tall and weighing in just past 100 lbs and this woman is revered and paid millions of dollars for winning a genetic crapshoot. The next is a barbie doll looking woman, slim hips flat stomache with Huge breasts. I wont go into the postural implications of that one, but neither one is an image that most women of any age can hope to achieve. Look at our movie stars, our icons and compare them to say 50 or sixty years ago wonderful curvy women painted on the sides of planes to remind men of home. If you are a woman and you go to say Samoa and you are skinny, they think you are poor. You must not be able to afford to eat if you are that skinny. I guess what I am really trying to say is, Its all about preception, I happen to have a rather large perky shapely rear that gives me no end of hassles finding clothing, I would much rather it wasnt there, but my husband finds it to be one of the sexiest thing about me. Self acceptance though is important in everything. And I proudly state that I am FAT, yes everything about me is fat, it really throws people off

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Why do they call them Apartments if they are all stuck together?


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LilBlueSmurf
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Well done Zootie *hugs*
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Hanne
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Know what, guys? I'm fat. Yup. Seriously. I weigh more than probably two or two and a half of you put together. More than any of you guys have ever dreamed of weighing.

And it's really okay. I'm healthy, I exercise, I eat well, I have normal blood pressure and a slightly low heartrate. And I have people in my life who love me and lust after me (and I always have).

I even wrote a book about fat and sexuality that came out not too long ago -- if any of you are interested in it, it's called Big Big Love: A Sourcebook on Sex for People of Size and Those Who Love Them, and Barnes and Noble and Borders carry it, among other places. I also teach seminars about fat and sexuality all over the country to doctors, therapists, and lots of other people.

The simple truth is that people come in a WIDE range of sizes. In 1996, the average height and weight for a woman in North America was 5'4" and 145 pounds. The average in France for the same year was 5'4" and 155. Those sound like pretty good, solid, healthy, curvy, normal, okay sizes to be to me. You can be taller or shorter, weigh less or more, and still be healthy, curvy, solid, sexy, and happy.

In our society, "fat" is most often used as a weapon. People use weight -- or even just the idea of it -- as a way to try to control other people. Most people can't visually tell the difference when someone they know loses or gains 10 pounds. It usually takes (according to studies) more like 20 - 30 pounds of weight gain before people even notice the change, visually.

So... they can't really see if you need to lose 5 pounds, or 10 pounds... or probably even 20! So why the heck are people so ready to say "You're fat" or "you need to lose ten pounds" or whatever?

Because it hurts and they know it, that's why. Because telling a girl or woman "you're fat" is like telling a guy "you have a tiny dick." It's an insult that they can get away with, because it's so shameful to be that thing -- fat, or have a small penis -- that it's almost impossible for someone to not be humiliated and hurt when someone says it. It's that much more effective as an insult because there are no hard-and-fast rules about "what is fat" and "what is not fat", and everyone is always convinced that THEY are fat... mostly because they don't have a realistic gauge of what "being fat" really is.

Let's face it -- we live in a culture where people say that Janeane Garofalo and Kate Winslet are fat. HELLO? Camryn Manheim is somewhat fat. Rosie O'Donnell is a little chubby (mostly she just has a big round face, but she's not all that heavy). Roseanne is a fat person. Darlene Cates (an actress who was in "Gilbert Grape") is a fat person.

Janeane Garofalo is not fat. Kate Winslet is not fat. They're actually pretty thin. But they're more on the "average" side than the "bone skinny" side, and to some people with really skewed ideas of what "fat" is, average, normal women's bodies apparently look fat. That's pretty crazy if you ask me.

Women are supposed to have body fat. Without it, we can't menstruate, we don't have breasts, and we can't have babies. Lose enough of your body fat, and you will also lose your hair, your gall bladder, probably some of your teeth, and have all sorts of other medical problems, too. We need fat to live -- all of us do, men and women.

Fat's just fat. It's a substance. We're supposed to have some fat in our bodies. It keeps us alive, among other things. That's a good thing in my book.

"Fat" is usually used as a weapon. When someone says "you're fat, you need to lose weight," what they're really saying, usually, is "I need to make you feel bad so I can feel superior to you."

Pretty bogus, don't you think?

If you're healthy and eating well, getting a reasonable amount of exercise, and not indulging in too much junk food, you're probably just fine. And I guarantee you all that if you think you are attractive and sexy, other people will too. It doesn't even matter if you're fat. I've been fat all my life, and I'm here to tell you personally that it's really true -- the most important thing is not what you weigh or what size clothes you wear, it's who you are and how confident and positive you are. Makes all the difference in the world.

Big fat hugs to you all!

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Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!


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ThisGuy
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To put it simply, I'd rather date a fat, nice girl, than someone who is supermodel thin, but utterly hideous inside.

Western society is too hung up on surface appearances. Thinness and wealth really don't make you a better person.

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ThIs Is AnNoYiNg!!!!!!
8u+ +H1z 1Z R3311Y r3311y @nN0y1nG!!!!!!!!

You vil use ze condoms, or ve vil use ze hot poker!


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Zootie
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I went back and reread what I had posted and remembered what I had forgot. A comment and a question really. The First thing, is only women have replied to the fat comment, I would like to question the guys out there though on if they have felt the pressure to be a perfect this or a perfect that? My hubby is on the chunky side ( I find it more sexy than anything else, nothing like snuggling up to someone like that) But he doesnt seem to have the same self esteem issues that sometimes rack my self. Do other men feel the same way like its not an issue?


Just curious

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Why do they call them Apartments if they are all stuck together?


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Gumdrop Girl
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the walking stick i'm dating worries about this "paunch" on his tummy. i have yet to find it.

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Maurice! Bring in the albinos! muwahahahahaha!!!


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VeNT
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quote:
Originally posted by LilBlueSmurf:
*sigh* ... The never ending fat issue ...

Why does this matter so much? Why do girls care so much about appearance that they make themselves physically sick? I dunno, but i know i've done it a few times ... hmm...


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
IT IS *NOT* ONLY GIRLS THAT HAVE THIS PROBLEM
beleave me i know quite a few guys who are v conserned about their weight and who go to the gim every day, and then moan when they put more weight on
AHHHH
~VeNT


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Raviolichic
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I know I'm incredibly late on this topic, but when I read it I just had to put in my two cents.

This entire issue blows my mind. Society takes two girls of the same age and height and sends out the message that the one weighing 110 lbs. is more beautiful and glamorous and worthy of respect than the one who weighs 210. How BOGUS is that?

I'll be honest. I am 17 years old. I am 4 feet, 7 and 1/2 inches tall. I have never weighed a hundred pounds in my life, and I doubt I ever will. Right now I top out at about 80. Therefore, I've never been anything close to fat.

I've got handfuls of perfectly healthy, attractive, curvy friends who CONSTANTLY put themselves down about their body image. No matter how many times I remind them that they're NOT fat and they're NOT ugly...it never gets through. And in a sense I guess I know why. Who's going to listen to a little mite of a person (me) talk about being obese? What could I possibly know about what's fat and what's not? I'm skinny, right? I'm pretty sure that's how they see it. It frustrates me, it really does.

I've spent the past 3 years as a junior intern at the biggest and most successful sports medicine facility in my state. I've treated literally thousands of kids my age or around my age. I've done the body fat percentages and skin fold readings on close to eight hundred high school wrestlers (both male and female). People come in COUNTLESS sizes and shapes. Even siblings! There's a pair of 16 year old identical male twins who come in for PT where I work. One of them happens to be 6'5", 245 lbs., with a 400 lb. bench press. His arms look like Popeye. The other one? He's about 5'10", 150, benches around two hundred if he's lucky. He works just as hard as his brother to stay in shape, but the bottom line is, he simply can't control it anymore than you or I. Does that mean he's not as good of an athlete or student? That he's not going to marry as gorgeous of a woman (or man)? CERTAINLY NOT. It means nothing. Nothing.


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~*!Raviolichic!*~


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KittenGoddess
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Hehe, this just reminded me of something. I'm 5'5 and about 110 lbs and my best friend is a bit taller and weighs quite a bit more. I think she's curvy and beautiful just the way she is...and she's quite satisfied with herself too. Now she is slowly working on losing a bit of weight, but it's for medical reasons as opposed to image reasons. Anyway, people have actually asked us how it is that we can be friends since we can't shop in the same stores or share clothes. Isn't that just absurd? Neither one of us likes to share our clothes anyway, so even if we were both the same size, that wouldn't matter. And as far as shopping goes, it never occured to me to even think about it when we go shopping together. I mean, it doesn't bother me to go into Lane Bryant with her, and it doesn't bother her to go into Petite Sophisticate with me! It had never really occured to either of us that should be a problem until someone asked us about it. And we still don't see it as a problem!

Anyway...this just reminded me of one time when we went shopping and we were walking through the women's department of a store. We were looking at dresses, and all of a sudden she says, "Who designs this stuff anyway? And why do they insist on putting huge flowers on everything they make for us fat people? Don't they know we hate that?" It was one of the funniest things I think she's ever said! We were both laughing so hard we were about to cry by the time we left. Anyway, this just reminded me of that.

~KittenGoddess

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"Intelligence is like underwear. We all should have it but we shouldn't show it off."
~James Dent

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."
~Helen Keller


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DarkChild717
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quote:
Originally posted by VeNT:

beleave me i know quite a few guys who are v conserned about their weight and who go to the gim every day, and then moan when they put more weight on




Heh. Do they realize the weight they're putting on is probably muscle content, not fat? Do they realize that muscle has more mass, therefore weighs more. I guess this means that if you excercise to lose weight, you'll gain it first as you build muscle. Thats me. A lot of my 212 lbs is mucsle in my legs and upper body from snowboarding. I'm pretty healthy. I eat right. I get good exercise, running from class to class. Each one is across campus...


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live4travel
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I know SOOO many girls that say they are fat! Ughh I just can't stand it! Of course I'm a real small squirt, weighing..oh last time I checked 120 lbs and I'm 5'3 (AND A QUARTER!) But really when I hear a girl say that, or usually a girl. I start joking around about it. I try to take the attention of themselves, and well let them see it from my point of view. I'll just be a little smart allick and say, I'm SOOO FAT! And pull out all this skin at my tummy :P It's pretty funny I think. But I do think it gets some kind of point across to the person. I don't know if I'm anorexic or not, last year I had to wrestle at 105 lbs..(actually 103, but later in season came 2 lb allowance) Which I thanked god for since I always came up at 105. But anyways, I would have to skip lunch and all the sugary snack foods. And GOD do I LOVE sugar..(I swear it will be the death of me) I have a VERY high metabolism..for now...once I'm 18 it's gone. So I can eat just about anythign I want. But the problem is, even though I'm not in wrestling this year, I'm still not eating LUNCH! I skip it, and if I can, supper too. It kind of carries on, even when you DON'T need it. SO be advised, unhealthy diets can tend to stick fast to you. Especially if you do them on a regular basis. But guys/girls You are beautiful NO MATTER what you say! People will love you for who you are, you just have to learn to "start a revolution-stop hating your body!" Hmmm where have I seen that one But finally, this is coming from a guy, I know LOT'S of guys that worry about weight. Or atleast wrestlers. I hate having to WEIGH a certain amount. It can hurt SOoo much. now I just do whatever I want b/c I decided not to do wrestling this year. *mom didn't want me to* She would literally force me to eat supper. This is coming from (last year) a 103/112 lb. WRESTLER. Now girls, you know you aren't alone. There are guys that worry too. Just know that the person looking back at you in the mirror is a beautiful person, Why? Because it's YOU!

Bonapetit,
Josh
P.s. I don't know French, is that spelled right? I thought it would be cute to add


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alaska
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I know I am late to compliment, but Hanne, what a wonderful post.

The other day, I saw that Opium ad which features Sophie Dahl nude...The ad about which various mags wrote that she was just too fat for it.. "Fat"??? Hello??!!! She isn't even average, is she? (Because she has lost some weight or so it seems). It's something I just don't get...are we supposed to all be a size 0 and have a body fat percentage so low that is unhealthy? Pretty warped view of the female body. And a reason to boycott the usual women's mags.

I like the fact that you call yourself "fat" - you're breaking a taboo by using the "f-word" to describe yourself, really... I think thats really empowering. Dearest Hanne, you're so fabulously positive...Do you ever have "bad body days"? You really don't sound like it.

I agree with you...when you like yourself, others will like you too, no matter what's your size.

------------------
Just a regular lunatic.
Go inside Alaska's head...

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 12-17-2000).]


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LilBlueSmurf
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Vent ~

I really wasn't saying that only girls have that problem I know guys have the same problem, if you read further in my post you see the lil part about my boyfriend (who just happens to be a *boy*)... This thread also had to deal w/ a girl, so i didn't really include guys. I still feel there's more pressure on girls to be thin ... That's just my opinion tho

~ Smurf


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Lin
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Seems that guys are almost the same universally. I do complain about being fat even though I am disgustingly thin. To the point where my dad is so afraid my brother could break my arm with one of his wrestling moves. I'm 1.72m tall and weigh 48 kg.

I complain about being fat to my bf, honestly just for the sake of complaining (it is the national past time for SIngaporeans. haha)I guess we all just have times where we feel insecure. When we look in the mirror, we see things that other people do not see. I have a flabby tummy even after all my crunches and I am very self conscious about it but no one seems to be able to notice it. So, I dunno if I am just being overly self conscious or my friends are just blind to the fact that a skinny person can have a tummy.

And there are times, like before my period, where I REALLY feel fat. I just feel so bloated and heavy. Argh.

Oh yea, my boyfriend has a 28 inch waist and says he is fat. We both get pissed at each other when we say we are fat. To me, it doesn't matter how fat he is, in fact, the fatter he is the more cuddly he is to me. I guess I just like to whine and he's also like a little kid at heart. Oh well.

Also, this is interesting. The way I see it, fat has in a way become more acceptable than being skinny. For 10 years, I have been dealing with concerned teachers, friends, family asking me if I am anorexic, have worms in my tummy and so on. Especially in recent years with the media blitz surrounding Calista Flockhart and co. THat's life I guess.

------------------
When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.

Mother Teresa


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momma cat
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Another annoying thing about fat is it never goes to the one place you want it-breasts! Tall people can shop in tall people stores, short people can shop in short people stores, more-rotund-than-average can shop in more-rotund-than-average store which have clothing for large-chested women, but there are no stores for people who are smaller than a C cup. I can't wear more than half of all formal dresses because I barely have a B cup! More than half the dresses I tried on for prom or homecoming would fall forward at the chest because there wasn't enough down there holding it up, or the neckline was so low it was showing off my nipples. Grrr!!!
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Heather
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Most clothing isn't cut for a pretty standard female shape period, especially when that includes wide hips, a round bottom, a small waist and a sixeable bustline. If you've found shops that do, momma, I'd love to know eher ther are.

I am petite, but I also have very strong legs, and I have a typical meditteranean hourglass figure. I have that shape whether I'm at my lowest weight or my highest one. Whether it's a size six or a size 12, most clothing isn't cut for curves.

If I want a shirt that buttons over my breasts without gapping, it's usually too long, too long in the arms, and balloons over my small waist and stomach. If I want pants that fit comfortably over my hips, botoom and thighs, I have to get them so they sit on my hips, no my waist, because small-waisted pants and cut for tiny bottoms and small hips, and larger pants are cut for a larger everything. And in all those cases, everything is still too long.

More times than not, our bodies aren't as simple as being fat or thin, short or tall -- it's all about body shape, and a lack of allowance for that diversity of shape. I'm the shape I am no matter what I weigh.

(And as an aside, your breast size isn't determined by fat. It is determined by the glands within your breasts and your genetics. If you truly are frustrrated with your chest size, it's not that hard to expand it spome with some simple weight training)


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live4travel
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Have you ever tried getting clothes made "especially" for you? I heard it costs a lot but it's an idea Oh wow momma cat, that would be embarassing Well good luck with it all....
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Hanne
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Thanks for the compliments, Alaska. Yes, I definitely have "bad body days," but I've also gotten pretty good at fighting them, most of the time.

And really, the ultimate thing is to realize that you don't have to worry about whether you're having a "bad body day" or not, because, ya know, you just are what you are. If other people want to be jerks, that's more their problem than it is yours. You are what you are. The rest of the world gets to deal with it.

I mean, no one goes home and changes their clothes because I happen to think they're a fashion disaster. No one puts on a hat because I personally find their hairdo disastrous. My individual opinion matters not one whit. It works the other way, too. People can think I'm fat, or hideous, or lumpy, or that I walk funny, or that I'm wearing the wrong color eyeliner. That's fine. Their individual opinions simply aren't relevant to me. If there's some specific person whose opinion *is* relevant to me, I will ask that person his or her opinion. It's really that simple.

What it all boils down to is this: your self-esteem and your body image are not something that should be or need to be decided by consensus. They are, and should be, decided by fiat. If you accept yourself for being whatever you are, and get out into the world and do what you do, the rest of the world really doesn't have a choice but to suck it up and cope.

Or, as I've said to more than one person who has decided they needed to walk up to me to inform me that I'm not thin:

"Thank you, but you know, your opinions are really none of my business, and I wouldn't dream of butting in to things that are none of my business. So rude."

------------------
Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!


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glitter695
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I dunno why, but I always have fat days and days where I feel ok about my body, like today, I was telling my boyfriend I felt fat, and hes like 'nononono your not fat.' So I went on the scale to wiegh myself and I had my mom read it and it said 107lbs, now I dont feel like I weigh that much. Plus I see fat on myself, but I love to eat, its crazy, so really Im putting all this stuff on myself. I shouldnt feel this way, but I cant help it. I never thought about starving myself, cuz I dont know what I would do without food. How can I stop feeling this way about my self?

------------------
*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*
"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!


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Heather
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Sugarplum, if you weight 107 pounds, even if you're 4'8, you aren't anything close to overweight. If at that weight you even HAVE a percentage of body fat that you need to be healthy, I'll be amazed.

More times than not, woryring obsessively about fat when you aren't is because you either have body dysmorphia, or because you don't have more important things to worry about.

Silly as it sounds, go volunteer at a homeless shelter, or at a shelter for abused women. A little perspective can go a long way.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


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glitter695
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I do have fat, and I see it. Like on my tummy, its not the way I want it, I want a sexy tummy.
What exactly is body dysamorphia? When your not hapy with you body? Well maybe I should eat salads all the time. But when I see something that looks so incrediable good I just have some. Sometimes I eat alot and other days I dont. (most of the time I eat just enough) I dont know what my probelem is.
But whatever I guess I shouldnt worry about it.

------------------
*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*
"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!


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Heather
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Glitter, sexy is as sexy does.

I'm going to give it to you straight out: when you base your own sense of beauty on ideals you get from seeing other bodies, you will NEVER -- everneverever -- be happy with yourself or your body, not matter what it looks like. You'' get to one ideal, then that won't be good enough, so you'll pick another...and another and another. Then one day you'll wake up, you'll be eighty years old, never have been happy with yourself and you'll realize what a heinous waste of your time, energy and life that was.

There are parapalegics who want to walk, but know what? They can't. Know what they do? They deal. They realize walking is only one of a myriad of things in life, and they've got the whole rest of the package still there.

Body dysmorphia is when you se your body as something other than what it is -- like fat at 100 pounds. You shouldn't eat nothing but salad, you'll ruin your health and your body and believe you me, in ten years, you'll look like crap for real, and you'll feel worse.

Your problem is that you aren't loving your body for what it is -- the vessel that holds you and uniquely reflects you. When you do that, you'll have a sexy everything, kiddo, whether your stomach is convex or concave, and you'll get something that lasts.

------------------
Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

"If you're a bird, be an early early bird --
But if you're a worm, sleep late." - Shel Silverstein


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live4travel
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Hey glitter, I would bet that there is a special someone that DOES think you have a very sexy tummy, Love your body as it is, and it will be that much easier. I know it's easier to say than do. But It'll be better afterwards. I promise *wink*

------------------
Want to know more about me? come see my little space in the Village People!
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum23/HTML/000036.html


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Sexy1985
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I know exactly what your saying...but that also makes me a hypocrite. I feel that I am extremly fat and ugly, even though people tell me otherwise. I wouldn't get mad at someone for that. Because their self image is just differnet then yours.
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glitter695
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I have a flat stomach I just want it you know, close to *perfect*, and yes I know there is no such thing is *perfect* but I have this friend whose stomach is what I want and shes 5'4'' and 120lbs. Shes not to skinny or too fat, *perfect*

And NiceGuy, your absoulty right, my boyfriend loves my stomach and my whole body, of I say Im ugly or fat when Im with him, he will say 'Im mad at you' and he will wont talk to me until I say Im beautiful.

I dont think Im totally ugly or fat, it just I have my days, everyone sees you different then you see your self. You see all the flaws on yourself while your friends and boyfriend doesnt see anything like you do. You know what I mean??

------------------
*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~
*~*~12/3/99*~*~*
"The first time I saw you, I knew that I would fall for you, & now that were together, our love will last forever!!" -By: The person I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD!!

[This message has been edited by glitter695 (edited 12-26-2000).]


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squints
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Hanne - I love your attitude! I'm the exact same way except more agressive and a teenager. I gotta get your book. *laughs*

I weigh about as much as two of ya'll put together too. But I don't give a flyin hoot. It's not that I don't care...I'm just too gosh darn lazy to do anything about it and it ain't hurtin no one else except me...and I'm completely healthy (as a horse! har har) Hey, I have friends...that don't judge me or whatever which is very cool because those are usually the true ones. :P And when I'm having those "bad body days", I wear jogging pants and a t-shirt TO SCHOOL...That's just how I am, and you wouldn't believe the respect I get for having enough guts (haha) to do that. I'm very open about it. Well, I can't say I'm VERY open about it, but I'm open enough to where I just don't give a crap anymore and have become adapted to it. *laughs* All I care about is my friends and family, and if they don't like you because of the way you look, then they're not true, baby. I find being fat as an advantage sometimes, I really don't have to care about some dickhead hitting on me...*laughs*...and I don't have to worry about people trying to fight me (cuz dammit, I'll sit on 'em!!)...and as long as you have a good attitude about things, and really do like yourself (and act that way!), then the friends will come a'rollin to you.

So yeah, society sucks.

But that was off topic anyway.


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