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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Bodies » Help, Fingering?Up My Shirt? Help

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Author Topic: Help, Fingering?Up My Shirt? Help
oOKellyOo
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I am 13 and I like this guy named Jack. Jack likes me back, but since its summer he doesn't want a girlfriend. So anyway, the other day he called me up to see how far I would go with hiim. He said he wanted to go to third base (Fingering/Blowjob) i Told Jack I wasn't sure if I wanted to go that far since I'm only 13 and we aren't going out. I thought about it for a few days and now I've decided to let him go up my shirt and maybe finger me. The only problem is I'm afraid people will call me a slut or a whore if i do this. I really sort of want to. i just am having doubts. What should I do?

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Rhianne
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If you have doubts don't do it. If you just 'sort of want to do it', you're not ready.
Posts: 5 | From: Canada | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Jimi Thing
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I think that if this guy was really serious he wouldn't be asking how far you would go. It seems to me that he is only interested in a sexual relationship (which is OK, if you are ok with it). And.... staying single for the summer is a pretty lame excuse. As Rhianne said, do whatever u are comfertable with, you don't want to regret anything. Take care and have fun.

------------------
~Jimi Thing


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Know the tune to "HIt the Road, Jack?"

Start singing. What a creep.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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No, no, no.

I'm not usually this bombastic, and I'm sorry, but come on, is Kelly a person or a freakin' lab rat? And what *IS* this jerk doing? Is he talking about sex or about corporate mergers?

"Hey Al, I'm thinking of giving you a hand job, for that rat-infested slum in East Harlem no one wants and is worth nothing."
"Oh, Joe, I don't know. I'm not going to let go of that wothless property without at least something oral. I have calls into a few other clients who I know will go for that. I'd hate for you to lose the deal."
"Well, could I get that in writing?"
"Well, gosh, I know it's your dime, Joe, but my hand is kinda tired from signing contracts today, can we just shake on it?"

I mean, really. And I'd put twenty bucks on the notion that you aren't the only one he's called. Honey, Jack is a player who is fishing for whoever will give him the most and expect the least in return. It isn't about you being a "slut" because of sex, it's about you having some self respect in not being played, and about him learning that sex isn't a tool to play people with. That just isn't nice, nor is it the sign of someone anything close to a level of maturity required to be sexually involved in a way that is mutual.

In no other venue would any of us reasonably agree to give something for nothing to someone who is just out to see how much they can get, not from you specifically, but just from any poor fool who'll give it.

(humming that tune again)

[This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited July 12, 2000).]


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Necka11
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Ok..now i really have a problem with this one. YOU ARE 13!!! First of all, you clue to what to do is in what he said " i don't want a g/f". It is obviously that he just wants someone to fool around with and not be with. If you are considering doing stuff with him just to please him or because he might not like you if you don't, then that is something you should really think about. This guy sounds like a real jerk to me and very immature, bu then agian he is 13, so what's there to expect. Listen girl, obviuosly you don't feel comfortable so DON"T do anything you don' want to especially if it's to make him happy.
Posts: 47 | From: Ontario Canada | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Belle
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i don't think it's us you need to be asking, i think you already know...like said above: if there's any doubt, any at all, it's a no go. this guy is looking for a good time, and he could prob. find it somewhere else if he lays a guilt trip on you. spare yourself the whole "i was used" cry-fest, and tell him to hit the road--fast.
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momma cat
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If it's something you only kinda think you might want to do, you're not going to enjoy it. There's only one guy I've ever been that physical with, and he was my best friend for a year and it grew from there as a mutual loving, caring relationship. What I loved and found absolutely thrilling was that my best friend loved and was that comfortable with me. It actually takes some talking to figure out what's comfortable, etc. My personal advice would be don't do it just for someone else because if that's what matters to them most, they don't care about WHO you are, it's just WHAT you are that they're after. Personally, I'm glad that the first guy I was very physical with was my best friend, and we were older: 17 and 18 the first time we made out without our shirts on, and 18 & 19 the first time we did something that would fall under some people's definition of sex.
Kelly, some day someone is going to love you for who you are, and that will be worth the wait.

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mentalxashtray
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Lalala. I made a typo on this one. That I couldn't change. Look below.

[This message has been edited by mentalxashtray (edited July 12, 2000).]


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mentalxashtray
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No, no, and no. You do not want to do this. And if you do, you'll regret it; I'm with Miz Scarlet.

If you want to fool around, especially your first time, you want to it be with someone your dating, trust, are comfortable with, and LIKE. A lot. And if you think peopel will call you a whore, or have other questions on how it'll make YOU feel in a negative way, do not do it. Sorry to say, but the reason guys stay single for summer is because they want to get banged without commitment, then go back to school and have a girlfriend without giving it a second though. I know it sounds rude, but its true.

------------------
"So what do we do now?"
"We go forward."
"Together?"
"Always."


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HotGrrl99
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A lot of boys are interested in getting hand and blow jobs from girls! It doesn't suprise me that even young guys are into this stuff. You just have to understand this. If you let guys take advatage of you and use you just for sex, you could get a reputation for being a slut, and many guys won't want to get involved with you! Understand that guys can have sex with girls just because they are horny, even if they can't stomach the girl! There is a girl at my school who is a totally spoiled bitch and the guys can't stand her, but they all want to fool around with her just because she has really huge boobs and a hot body!

[This message has been edited by HotGrrl99 (edited July 13, 2000).]


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prettyboy862001
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What a creep!!! It's pretty obvious this guy is just taking advantage of you. Tell him to go get a life!!!!!
Posts: 13 | From: Lismore, N.S.W Australia | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Ella
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If you like Jack, why don't you talk to him about a relationship. First off, the fact that he is asking for specific sexual favours up front is a little suspicious of why he wants to get together with you. It sounds to me like all he wants is a sexual relationship and nothing more. If you want something more than getting into this is just a surefire way to get hurt. Intellectually you might think you know that it's all just physical but emotionally it's not something that you can know. Take of yourself.

If you do decide to go into a purely physical relationship with him (which I personally think would be a horrible idea), please remember to use protection. Here's a lovely article on protection:
http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/safer.html

Please think about this before you do anything that makes you uncomfortable. There's also an article on sexual readiness which I think would be helpful:
http://www.scarleteen.com/sexuality/readiness.html


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SlowCookie
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That is such a lame deal. You have to agree to give him a oral sex before he even looks in your direction? Come on, you're smarter than that. What's next? "If you give me oral and clean my room, I might even learn your first name, rather than calling you speed dial #8." What a big jerk. He's certainly someone I wouldn't talk to twice. Find some new friends, this kid is a loser.

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You know, Hobbes, sometimes even my lucky rocketship underpants dont help. -Calvin


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pink
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So, you're willing to let this guy take advantage of you, and forget about you? How are you gonna feel when you're emotionally attached to him and he doesn't want to see you?

Jack is a jerk, a real Grade-A creep. Forget him as soon as you can. You are a person with feelings, and you shouldn't ever allow anyone to mess with your head like that.

As Mz. S says, hit the road, Jack!

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Sin by thy lips? Oh trespass sweetly urged, give me my sin again!


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Gumdrop Girl
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i'm with the gang on this one.

this boy is trouble!!!

you seem to have doubts. when it comes to sex or "play," if you have *any* doubts, them don't do it!. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble and/or heartache.

you might be crushing on a guy, but truth be told, don't ever just let him play with you 'cause you think it'll make him like you more. you will only get hurt!

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This space reserved for the free exchange of thoughts and ideas.


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surferChicka
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hey... DON'T DO IT!!!!!!

i know from experience exactly what it fEEls like to be used by a guy sexuaLLy. in fact, it haPPened when i was 13! trust me, it is NOT NOT NOT a gOOd fEEling. it was like he also tricked me into thinking we "loved" each other. it was incredibly hoRRible, and i personaLLy think i'm kinda scaRRed for life (although i might be jumping 2 conclusions).

boTTom line: if you dont waNNa do it, then dont. dont let him swEEt talk you into doing something you dont want. do it if you want to, not to please him. take it from me.

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peace, love, & seXwax!


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Camzie13
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ok, kelly, I empathize with u COMPLETELY!!! the same thing happened to me, and i am 13 too!!! except that it was long distance, not the summer was the reason he didn't wanna go out. He wanted to wait until summer to go out. well....i let him go up my shirt the first time we hooked up...and it was also my first time doin nething with a guy. I guess I was a little anxious to please the guy that finally liked me back. well....afterwards, he asked if he could finger me, and i said that i would think about it. Well.....rob, the guy, ended up gettin a gf, and he thought I didn't know, and every day, he asked when i was comin down, and if we could get to 3rd. I have learned from my experience and the lesson is: wait until you are in an honest, monogamous relationship, and that you really know that he cares. Don't get your heart broken like me. I hope I have helped in your decision. Also..it is typical of a guy to say, "i wanna finger u, but lets not go out."do he can get some action.
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d1TzY8
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OBVIOUSLY you arent ready if youre all freaking out about people calling you names...you should do it because you care for him and like him, NOT because he wants you too. Do YOU want to or not? Yes or no, its up to YOU.
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beautiful_teardrop
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I'm humming that tune now

I agree with most of what was said above, this guy is a creep, you deserve better and should want him out of your mind pronto!

G'luck


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keoki_14
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Why do you care what other people think? If people called me a slut, I wouldn't care. They can think what they want. As long as the people I care about and I know the truth, why does it matter? That's just me though.

------------------
"Meet me in outer space. We could spend the night..." -Stellar by Incubus


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saunchapanza
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You said you like this guy. Does he like you? A friend of mine recently got into a realtionship where she loved the guy, but he went out with her, as he put it, so he could "get a f***". Secondly, even if you did let him, have you noticed both fingering and blowjobs have no benefit to you? I highly doubt you would enjoy sticking his **** in your mouth. Lastly, your reputaion is a very important thing. Girls who let guys do anything to them, even if it was innocent, get gossiped about and even shunned by others. so, the bottom line is (as you already know) DON'T LET HIM DO IT!
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italienprincess
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honey, my mom's always told me that no one is going to buy a cow when they can get the milk for free.

maybe he just wants someone to use to pleasure him.
i wouln't do it, not to degrade you in any way, but how doyou know after you've done all that that he wont just find someone new?


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powergirl
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ok well i'm goin with everyone else but hunnie what ever u do u should never be considered a slut or a whore...but as everyone else is tellin u he is a LOSER and he has a problem with him self if he is doin this so just don't give in to him please...please don't do anything u will regret....
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momma cat
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Saunchapanza, just outta curiosity, why do you say fingering has no benefit for her? Hand jobs and fingering seems to imply that both people are giving and getting.

BTW, do people realise that this delima took place in July?


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Ms.45
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Girlfriend, he just want to hit it and quit it. So, you tell him how u feel and if he doesn't want to have a relationship with you then dump him.
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Mary
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quote:
Originally posted by momma cat:
BTW, do people realise that this delima took place in July?

LOL, I was just about to say the same thing... But you never know, someone could be having the same dilema right now and need help. I think everyone here has given some great advice .

------------------
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, how does your garden grow?

"Well, I use fertilizer and a new product I got at The Home Depot."


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skaterdansgirl469
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dont do it thats all i have to say, you have to have more pride in yourself than that, you could do so much better!

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sex is not the answer, yes is the answer, sex is the question!


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aleox
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wow what a pervet. If you don't feel ready dont do anything.
Posts: 109 | From: Birmingham, West Midlands, UK | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
glitter695
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Um alexo, here at scarleteen we dont tell people they are perverts.

People come to this website to look for advice, not to critisize people and what they want to know.

So please dont call people any names, and respect everyone here. Thank you very much.

------------------
*~*~12/3/99*~*
*~*~*~I LOVE YOU BOB FOREVER AND ALWAYS*~*~*~

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't" -Erica Jong<~~~no thats not me

*~*Scarleteen Advocate*~*

[This message has been edited by glitter695 (edited 05-27-2001).]


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