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Author Topic:   STD Sufferers
Miz Scarlet
Sexpert

Posts: 19846
From: Minneapolis
Registered: May 2000

posted 07-27-2000 11:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Miz Scarlet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do you currently have or carry a sexually transmitted disease?

You aren't a leper, you're just someone with an illness like any other. Find others dealing with what you are here, and work out your issues without shame or stigma.

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GothGirl
Neophyte

Posts: 23
From: Scottsdale, Az, USA
Registered: Aug 2000

posted 08-07-2000 10:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for GothGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was just diagnosed with herpes simplex about 3 weeks ago. It was so devistating, because I know that I am going to carry it with me for the rest of my life. I feel so embarassed and ashamed of myself. It is no one's fault bu myself, I was the one who was careless, and it is just so hard now to look myself in the mirror and not break down and cry.

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punky_brewster
Neophyte

Posts: 5
From: carlton, OR USA
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 10-30-2001 02:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for punky_brewster     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I have herpes also. It was the most devistating thing that I had to go through in my life. I thought that I had fallen in love with a man who told me he was 25 (he was really 27). He was from Alabama, and every girl thought he was hot. I thought him and I had something special. I thought we were in love with each other. He had met him family, and they loved him. He even stayed with us for Thanksgiving. Him and I slept together. He was my third lover and I thought that if I slept with him he's love me even more. We spent the night together and in the morning he left. After that nightt we got into several fights and we broke up. I remember people telling me afterwards that he had been cheating on me the whole time we had been together. I was so depressed I thought about taking my own life more than a few times. Finally I told my mother everything that had happened. She was very supportive. She told me that since I was now sexually active I should go in to get a pap smear and birth control. we went to the doctor's together. i was tested for common STD's and AIDS. I found out about a month later that I did not have AIDS, but I did have herpes. I was more depressed than I had ever been in my life. This man that I thought I was in love with had totally ruined me. I wanted to die. I stayed in my room and cired forever. I finally educated myself on the disease more and i found that there was no way to cure it. i wanted to kill him. I wanted him dead. I would have stopped at nothing to kill that man. He moved away, and I never saw him again. He lied to me about everything. He charmed and romantced me. He broke my heart. I had only one friend whom I could talk to and she helped me a lot. I remember when I told her she cried and I cried and she just held me. I will never forget how much she really cared. The pain did not end there though. I told another person whom I thought was a good and trusted friend, stupidly and she ended up telling everyone at school. no one would even talk to me, i had the image of the school slut... and guys feared even being around me. People also thought that I had AIDS and they looked at me like I was a freak. I was in a LOT OF INNER PAIN. I was depressed beyond beleif. I was stupid enough to let these peoples words get to me. I felt hated and ugly inside and out. I started throwing myself at men. I always used a condom, but now I regret every night i was with men.... I despise the thought of it all. I hated myself. I hated men. I was a big mess. Finally I stopped abusing myself and letting men abuse me when I met the love of my life.... and I have never been happier with myself or loved myself more than I do now. I have told him about my STD and he loves me regardless. We are not sexually active and he is a virgin. I am still working through all of this trauma, but I am getting better... one step at a time. I just wanted to post this on here to let any of you women out there that have herpes, or any other STD to realize that it is not your fault, you are not dirty.. and that your life does not have to end... be strong, and remember that you are beautiful and worth everything in the world. Do not let men destroy you.... love yourself, be proud of who you are. There is always time to change...
with deep love and sympathy to all of you...
-punky-
if any of you have any questions or anything PLEASE feel free to write me at -- EDITED: according to our guidelines, email addresses and other contact information can not be posted on these boards --
i know your pain, you are not alone...

[This message has been edited by kythryne (edited 10-30-2001).]

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Beautiful day
Activist

Posts: 59
From: Toronto/Ont/Canada
Registered: May 2001

posted 11-02-2001 04:34 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Beautiful day     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I havnt been diagnosed witha sivere STD.. but i am afraid i might have something.. I am getting checked next week. But i wanted to say.. i am glad to see this post up here for support it makes me feel at ease that im not the only one...

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kythryne
Advocate

Posts: 1685
From: New York City
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 01-08-2002 10:38 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for kythryne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm tossing this one back up to the top, because I think it's really good to have a topic like this going for those who need it.

My ex did the infamous "oh, don't worry, I'm clean" routine -- and me being the naieve young thing that I was, I bought it. Long story short, I now have herpes. It devastated me at first, but now it's just another one of those annoying things I have to deal with occasionally, like being dependent on glasses or contacts to be able to see past the end of my nose. Granted, it adds a bit of a complication to pre-sex negotiations with a new partner, but it's definitely not the end of the world.

I do wish I'd known better, and had the sense and the courage to insist on STD tests before getting involved with my ex, but that's water under the bridge now.

Kyth

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Kythryne
Scarleteen Advocate

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform." - Alfred Kinsey

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kythryne
Advocate

Posts: 1685
From: New York City
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 02-11-2002 10:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for kythryne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
bumpity bump!

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vibrant
Neophyte

Posts: 3
From: Eugene,OR, U.S.
Registered: Oct 2002

posted 10-21-2002 12:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for vibrant     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I went out to a party about a month ago with a bunch of my friends, I had been drinking so I didn't want to drive. I went to this party with one of my good guy friends, who I thought cared about me! The party was a blast, and I danced the whole night away, but eventually it was time to go; and since he was my ride I left my friends and left with him. But, he didn't take me home! Instead he took me to his house, and I was too wasted to object, all I could think about was sleeping. The next morning when I awoke he wanted to have sex; I really didn't want to but I didn't object simply because we had engaged in casually sex in the past. A few days later I started noticing symptoms of an STD. In the back of my mind I knew exactly what it was, but I was in denial! School started that following Monday, so I went to the Student Health Center to get checked out, and a couple days later I was diagnosed with oral herpes. I didn't know what to do with myself, I felt ashamed, dirty, and ugly! I knew that I was now a carrier for life, and I was more afraid that no one will ever accept me for me! Better yet, I just wanted to roll over, go to sleep, and never wake up. I was so angry, and I still am. I have to go see a psychologist once a week, because it's been a little less than a month; and I'm still having troubles accepting myself! I have told two of my closest friends, which they have been very supoortive, but I feel like they will never understand what I am going through. I just hope that I will one day be able to accept what I have...

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Taking it day by day

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Cutechick235
Neophyte

Posts: 4
From: Wales
Registered: Feb 2003

posted 03-15-2003 03:08 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Cutechick235     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I went to the doctors yesterday and I now know that I have genital warts. I suppose Ive known for about 5 weeks now but I was just hoping that if I ignored then they would go away, but of course they didnt. It really hit me when I got diagnosed, I didn't stop crying all last night. I feel so worhless and pathetic at the moment.
What makes it worse is that I have started going out with this boy. He is so sweet and lovely and he says he wasnts to be with me for ages. He isn't like most boys as he hasnt tried anything on yet and I think he really likes me, I love him really, Ive liked him for ages. But since this has happened I know I can never tell him as no way on this earth do I want anyone to know about it. I think im going to have to finish with him because there is no way I want to risk giving him an STI. It seems unfair to ask him to stay with me but without ever having sex. It is going to break my heart and his but I have no choice.
I hate the way this is all because I got drunk at one stupid house party and had unprotected sex, I wih I could go back in time so much!

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Miz Scarlet
Sexpert

Posts: 19846
From: Minneapolis
Registered: May 2000

posted 03-15-2003 06:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Miz Scarlet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Cute, did you read the reply I gave you here: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/000295.html?

Can you perhaps read this part again?

quote:
Can you have sex again? Yes, you can. At least one-third of all sexually active young adults right now have HPV. It's not just you, but that is a wake-up call to take safer sex seriously: and that includes not just condom, dam and glove use, but testing as well. You should also make a point right now of contacting your previous partners to inform them of this so they too can be tested.

The risk of giving it to others is high, but it is decreased dramatically via women when you keep check of your sexual health, get any active warts taken care of promptly, and use safer sex practices: again, namely condoms, gloves and dental dams and testing. You can find out about all of that right here: Safe, Sound & Sexy A Safer Sex How-To.

So, you have a new person you're dating. The way to start this right is to make sure that before you start progressing to sexual activities, you are comfortable enough with him to tell him you have HPV, tell him what his risks are, and talk about safer sex with him. if you can't do that -- for people with or without an STD or STI -- you shouldn't be sexually active. Those discussions and practices are necessary for everyone right now to have sex reponsibly whether they have an STI or not.


The truth of the matter is that when any of us are sexually active right now, we risk infection or disease. And if we can't talk to a partner about those risks -- whether we have an STI or not -- it isn't about the STI. It's about us simply not being ready for what a healthy sexual relationship requires, or about us not having the trust and openness yet with a given partner to take that step.

Wishing to turn back time isn't productive. learning from what's occurred -- namely that these risks are all too real and that we ALL need to not dramatize this, but deal with these things realistically and honestly -- is.

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sirbmckenzie
Neophyte

Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Aug 2003

posted 01-11-2005 09:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for sirbmckenzie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm petrified. What I thought was an abrasion from rough handling hurts more today, and I think I can see bumps. I'm making a doctor's appointment, but I have no idea what I'm going to do if I have herpes/warts. Can anyone give me some advice on what I can do to prepare myself? I've been reading up on STDs all day, but if I turn out to have something I'm afraid I'm just going to collapse, and now is a bad time for collapsing (I'm about to take my finals at a university that's VERY far away from my home and family). How do you steel yourself for this sort of thing? Would it make more sense to just try to calm down? How have you guys dealt with this as time's gone on?

Thanks so much.

Editing to say, I've been rereading some of the posts on this thread, and I'm sorry if this sounds a little melodramatic. I'm just frightened - nothing of this sort has happened to me before, and I've always, always used condoms etc., so it's a bit of a bolt from the blue.

[This message has been edited by sirbmckenzie (edited 01-11-2005).]

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Gumdrop Girl
Sexpert

Posts: 11271
From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 01-14-2005 01:21 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
while having an STD isn't a cakewalk, many of them can be managed enough such that your life will not be ruined.

In the case of herpes and warts, did you know some of the biggest problems with those aren't physical, but MENTAL? yes, when people find out they have herpes or warts, they tend to freak out, feel like pariahs, and have all sorts of psychosocial issues. These are the toughest things to deal with.

But as far as the body itself? warts can be removed surgically. And herpes can be controlled with medications.

The rest is up to you to handle. you can seek support from support groups. I don't know what they've got in the UK (you didn't say where you were from, but you spell stuff with extra 'U's, so I figure...). But in the States, there's HerpesHELP http://www.herpes.com/supportgroups.shtml

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LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.

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sirbmckenzie
Neophyte

Posts: 7
From:
Registered: Aug 2003

posted 01-14-2005 02:02 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for sirbmckenzie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Considering the amount of freak-outage I've already done before knowing anything conclusive, what you've said makes a lot of sense. Thanks so much for the reply and resources.

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spinnersis
Activist

Posts: 30
From: USA
Registered: Jun 2004

posted 01-27-2005 01:53 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for spinnersis     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I've had oral herpes for my entire life. The theory is that I got it from a kiss from my grandma.

It was never a big deal (although I do have a school picture where my chin is all broken out). Mostly I just have to remember not to share straws or cups or silverware when I've got a break out. (Here! Have a bite of this cheesecake, it's really good!) I also make sure that nobody tries to share my lipstick. It goes without saying that I avoid kissing people when I've got a break out.

I usually only get sores when I'm really stressed out or after I've been sick and my immune system is low. When I was younger eating too much chocolate would do it too, fortunately that seems to have gone away.

I just thought I'd post my experiences with oral herpes to let people know that it's not an end of the world sort of situation. It's a bit of an irritation occasionally but that's it, so don't worry about it. I hope this is helpful.

-Anna

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celery
Activist

Posts: 981
From: toronto
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 02-08-2005 10:51 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for celery     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey.. I just read spinnersis' post and I have the exact same thing.

I in fact have a cold sore right now [blaming stress!] and I also think I got it from my grandma when I was little, because I've also had it all my life.

It sucks because I get one probably every 2 months. And they're painful and big and I've had like 3 at one time!
Also have the pictures with the chin breakout.. not fun!

Just thought I'd rant a little, still trying to find a good rememdy =\

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wobblyheadedjane
Advocate

Posts: 995
From: London, ON
Registered: Jan 2003

posted 02-09-2005 12:20 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for wobblyheadedjane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I had a cold sore breakout when I was at the dentist once, and they proscribed me Zoivorax which helps quell the breakouts. I used it the next time I got a sore, and the time after that, it was much faster healing time. If I get on it quick enough when I feel that cold sore 'tingly' feeling, I can pretty much avoid it erupting at all, though I'm very careful still not to share glasses or kiss anyone for a few days afterwards.

I also take extra zinc when I have a breakout to boost my immune system and use suncreen lipbalm to keep from getting breakouts from overexposure to the sun. Just some small tips I found helpful.

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Lady Bird
Neophyte

Posts: 6
From: england
Registered: Mar 2005

posted 03-05-2005 04:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lady Bird     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I get alot of coldsores, usually in the cold weather (but i'm always careful with my boyfriend!), is it normal to get them just on the inside of your nose? Thats the only place I seem to get them... I can only remember once where I had them on the side of my mouth as a breakout and that was years ago.

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wobblyheadedjane
Advocate

Posts: 995
From: London, ON
Registered: Jan 2003

posted 03-10-2005 06:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for wobblyheadedjane     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Do the bump.

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Gumdrop Girl
Sexpert

Posts: 11271
From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 02-16-2006 11:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
bumped for StarHallie. join the party, dear.

in fact, if you could, cut and paste your new thread into this one.

------------------
LA County STD Hotline 1.800.758.0880
Toll free STD and clinic information, and condoms sent to your door for Los Angeles County residents.
1 in 3 sexually active people will be exposed to a STD by the time they turn 24.

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StarHallie
Neophyte

Posts: 27
From:
Registered: Feb 2006

posted 02-16-2006 11:54 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarHallie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
(Thanks so much Gumdrop Girl You guys are great.)

Okay, so I just diagnosed with high-risk HPV two days ago. Today I had a biopsy.
I know this isn't a terribly risky STD but it's still a serious one, and I can't help but feel weird about it. I was a virgin before my current boyfriend (whom I chose REALLY wisely...but unfortunately his testing didn't reveal that he was carrying this virus), and I don't regret anything, because I know I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Anyways, I am kind of shocked, confused, and scared about what exactly to expect from this whole thing...and I need to talk to some other girls who feel weird that they have this.

I read somewhere that three in four sexually active people will get this in their life...so since it's extremely common, there has to be some people out there that are just as worried as I am about it.

I'm having some emotional concerns about my sex life. Is this going to change anything? Has it worsened anyone's sex life in terms of "knowing" you're sexually infected?

Im just so shocked...,and it's not going away. Thanks you guys. I'd love some company right now.

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Gwaihir
Neophyte

Posts: 8
From:
Registered: Jan 2006

posted 02-17-2006 02:10 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gwaihir     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just some advice for herpes sufferers I hope helps. .

I just found out recently that my mother has herpes simplex and she claims that taking lots of lysine tablets helps lessen outbreaks. Also, if you want to go the herbal route, I've read that lemon balm is an excellent herb for combatting the herpes virus. (Of course, before trying to use any herb you should always talk to a qualified herbalist.)

Personally, there's always a dim fear that I have it too, that maybe my mother wasn't as careful not to spread it to me during my childhood as she thought but I can't let it eat at me.
I do get small ulcer-like sores occassionally, but only inside my mouth, so they might just be canker sores, but I don't know.

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BiLLaBaBy017
Activist

Posts: 254
From: Ft Campbell/Clarksville, TN
Registered: Jan 2002

posted 02-21-2006 05:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BiLLaBaBy017     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was diagnosed with low risk HPV a few weeks ago, but I still have yet to have my biopsy. I'm scheduled to have it on the 27th of this month. I'm really scared because I don't know what to expect, someone said that it hurt a lot when she had it done, then I heard it won't hurt at all. I've heard many things, but I'll have to wait and see for myself. Me and my husband had started to have sex without condoms when we startd dating, but I had used condoms 95% of the time with my previous boyfriends, so I was pretty shocked when I found out I had it too.

Virgins can also get it, so I guess it sounds like a somewhat normal thing. HPV isn't serious I think, it's just a way of life. Don't take that the wrong way, I just mean that I can happen to anyone, sexually active or not.

I am nervous to have it done, but at least I'll know if it's cancer or not

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StarHallie
Neophyte

Posts: 27
From:
Registered: Feb 2006

posted 02-22-2006 02:17 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarHallie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, for me...the biopsy was weird. My doctor used a tool that kind of snips off little peices of tissue on the cervix...I guess. At least that's how he explained it. It was more like a little pinch than anything. The problem for me was that he was concerned about not one....not two... but THREE areas. So I got snipped thrice. Fun stuff. I guess the best advice I could give you is: just TRY to relax. Because that's what someone told me- if you aren't mentally freaking out, it wont be so physically freaky for you.

I'd say, at least you have low-risk...I'm quite a bit more prone to cervical cancer. I just want the results back. I'm so scared...I hope I don't have to get any of those scary procedures done. I just take such good care of myself: I have such a healthy lifestyle, how could something so scary intrude my body. It's not fair.

When I got diagnosed with this...I was just like... "this is not me. i do not have an std! I have only been with one guy in my entire life. I am healthy! Young! Vital!" I was so shocked, I totally know how you feel. It's so nice to hear that I'm not the only one out there who is totally freaked by this infection.

From what I've read, this thing is not going to take over our lives. I think we have control here. I'm glad for that

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