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Originally posted by Rhiannon:
(I'm 5'7 1/2" and about 125 lbs)..her bones are smaller than mine, though, but it takes a lot of time convincing myself of that. Right now, I'd still like to lose about 10 lbs...maybe 15. Anyway, thanks for starting a thread about this.

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Sounds to me that you don't need to lose weight but rather gain a lil. if you're worried about the size of your bones, i'm afraid there isn't anything you can't do about it. people come in all shapes and sizes, and i think where you are now may be teetering on too thin.

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"Everybody thinks i'm such a horrible person, but i have the heart of a little boy. In a jar. On my desk." -Stephen King

I think the worst part was when everyone around me first realized that there really was something going on with me. It was during the summer after my 8th grade year. (about 4 months after it had initially started) I was feeling particularly fat and I hadn't eaten in three days and even though I had been drinking lots of water, it obviously wasn't enough. I got dehydrated and passed out. My mom took me to the hospital and they pumped full of liquids through iv's and then released me later that evening. After that I started going to "my shrink." She is really nice tho and doesn't mind me calling her that. She makes me keep a food diary and stuff, but even with the support of my family, it is still really hard to get better.

Not many of my friends know about it and I'm not really sure why I choose to keep it from them, but I guess I kinda think that it would make them think differently of me and I don't really want that.

Anywho, thats my story.

Can anyone offer a little clarity?

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'Steve, sex with two whole women, think of the advantages...they can't both fall asleep. If one of them suddenly leaves or punches you, you've still got one left. If one of them plays that old sneaking out of the window trick, there's someone there to untie you. It's total genius.' -Jeff Murdock

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'Steve, sex with two whole women, think of the advantages...they can't both fall asleep. If one of them suddenly leaves or punches you, you've still got one left. If one of them plays that old sneaking out of the window trick, there's someone there to untie you. It's total genius.' -Jeff Murdock

I think i pretty much always look good, i don't mean to sound vain, but i mean, i like the way that i see myself. I think of myself as being pretty, no one is gonna like me any more if i look a different way. I don't usually have a problem when i look in the mirror.

It's not like my reflection changes a great deal from one day to the next.

I look in the mirror and see some extra fat, stretch marks, and maybe a little bit more of me then there should be(but not dangerously so) and i just think, it's all part of me, and all part of who i love.

I know that no one who counts is gonna think less or more of me for weighing more or less, and i'm healthy and happy.

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'Steve, sex with two whole women, think of the advantages...they can't both fall asleep. If one of them suddenly leaves or punches you, you've still got one left. If one of them plays that old sneaking out of the window trick, there's someone there to untie you. It's total genius.' -Jeff Murdock

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'Steve, sex with two whole women, think of the advantages...they can't both fall asleep. If one of them suddenly leaves or punches you, you've still got one left. If one of them plays that old sneaking out of the window trick, there's someone there to untie you. It's total genius.' -Jeff Murdock

i've tried to answer this, but i keep erasing and starting over. it's a tough question.

maybe that's because when we really think about it, our reasons are completely stupid, and it makes us face up to how senseless we've been about the whole matter.

my mother doesn't harp on me anymore. i did lose the weight (not by dieting, unless you count a summer of intense studying to be a form of dieting). my ex came to see me, and he kept telling me i was beautiful, and how he always thought so.

i'm better now, but i'm not perfect by a long shot. the petite asian girls that i could never be are all over the place, and they remind me all the time. i can't be like them, and that hurts. no amount of dieting can make me that small, but for some reason, i wish i could be.

this is part of why i hate racial stereotypes. you believe in them long enough, then you freak out when you can't fit in with the rest of 'em.

I think that the primary reason was teasing, pure and simple. At 14, I had already developed curvy hips, while most of my female classmates were still tiny little things. One exception was a supposed "best" friend of mine who was obese, and threw all of her insecurities onto me. Meanwhile, a couple of the guys who sat with my group of friends told me every day that I needed a "wide load" sign on my back side. And I hated that and I wanted it to stop.

I'm really worried about her. She's depressed, she's in therapy, she's taking some meds, and in the past month or two she's lost 20 pounds. The other day I finally confronted her online, she insists that she's not too skinny, I demanded web cam pictures of her ribs, she complied, I could count her ribs! She agreed, maybe she is getting a bit too thin, but she said she had eaten two meals that day.

I don't know what to do. She lives like, a 40 minute drive away from me, she goes to school on the other side of town so I never get to see her. She's already in therapy and she's already on meds....I just don't know what to do. I tell her how she's beautiful but I'm worrying about her and I tell her how much I love her and care about her and want to see her happy. I told her to try to eat more food, and make sure that what she does eat has lots of vitamens and to drink at least a glass of milk a day because she's a growing girl and needs the calcium.

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"Girl you can pick a field full of daisies...but he'd still be my baby!" ~Dream

sorry for double posting here, i spaced

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I HAVE HEAD-EXPLODY!
-Johnny C.

quote:

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Originally posted by CareBears87:
i've struggled with a eating disorder for about 3 years now...its a really hard thing to deal with. its been an up and down thing, theres times that i'm doing good and feeling good about myself and then there is times that i am feel really bad about myself and then i go down fast than ne one is able to catch me... i've been struggling SO badly recently, i don't know how i'm gona pull myself back up... ne one got ne suggestions?

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I can really relate to you. In sixth grade I was very chubby and I had always worried about my weight (I was 135) I started exercising and dieting. One day -- about a month after all of the calorie counting -- my best friend at the time told me this boy in her class went up to the board, drew a cow, and put "Brittany T" (my name) underneath. That seriously hurt me, and it haunted me even to this day; I didn't even know him!

May I direct you to our own Lemming's comments here: http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum1/HTML/002291.html

Those are wise words and ones you should heed. Really.

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We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

ive always been skinny. people at school would be like oh my gosh do you EAT?!?!? blah blah are you anorexic? or just plain your so skinny! i wasnt TOO skinny though. it was natural. i ate so much! junk food and healthy food. 3 meals a day, snacks, etc. i never even really thought anything of my weight.. im going into 9th grade. last year 8th grade i was a sz 0 or 1. now im like a 1/2 for the past couple months. well, a couple months ago i went to the doctors for a checkup and i weighed 107. (im like 5' 4") suddenly the thought crossed my mind- 107??!? when had i gained those 7lbs?? about 2 weeks ago, i weighed myself. i was 110. i felt bad about myself. i thought i was fat. and i tried to eat healthier. i was ok for like a week..i'd eat a salad instead of cooking a hamburger, turn down icecream and donuts, etc. but i was still eating 3meals a day. then one day i skipped dinner.. and the next day i was throwing away my breakfast. . . and yesterday i ate a small breakfast and didnt eat again till the evening, then having some cereal and bread. ive lost like 5lbs in these 2weeks... i was kinda scared yesterday and stuff, and now im a little scared, but i am oddly proud. iknow that sounds bad but im like proud that i can do this! i tried on pants that were *tight* on me awhile back (i wore them but would be tugging on them and stuff) and they fit very nicely now. but theres a pair of jeans that i bought (off ebay). they were size 1s. they arrived the 28th. i could hardly button or zip them. they still dont fit me its a struggle to zip them, and part of mes like im just doing this till those dang pants fit!! today i didnt eat that much considering how much i USED to eat.. this is what i ate today:
piece of toast
6 baby carrots w/ lite ranch
nutragrain bar
SMALL brownie
piece of bread with a little bit of turkey
slice of cheese

i was eating the brownie feeling ashamed. . i know what im doing is WRONG but i just cant stop!! ill tell myself to eat and i just cant make myself. i drink a lot of water though, and take a vitamin everyday.

funny though. i was always naturally skinny, so i told myself i would NEVER EVER EVER be one of those skinny girls saying i was fat or starving myself. i always knew that you shouldnt starve yourself, just eat healthier if you wanna lose weight. . . and here i am doing it.

i told myself i would tell someone... and then i said, oh well, after i lose 5 more pounds. .. im scared my parents would get mad or something. one of my friends knows, but i dont think he knows how little im eating now. in just the past 3 days its gotten worse. and today i feel like ive failed by eating that brownie and stuff. ..

However...
I'm rather curvy and a bit heavy [5'8", 155 lbs]. I don't have terribly large breasts [36B, last time I checked] but I do have quite noticible hips which I dislike greatly.
I often find it extremely tempting to starve off all my "curves", which I find absolutely disgusting when I'm feeling more male-identified and uncomfortable with having a female body.

I used to dance quite seriously - ballet for 8 years and jazz for 3. Then I quit ballet because of the emphasis the teacher put on having the "correct" figure, which is something I'm simply not built for, no matter what I do, my body stucture is not that of a toothpick.
Ugh...that teacher helped so many girls find issues with their bodies where there were none, it makes me sad. She'd tell normal, average, beautiful sized girls to lose weight because they looked "chunky", whereas ballet is "supposed to be about delicacy". *shiver*

quote:

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Originally posted by lavie17:
just if someone was to point out a couple of extra pounds its the same with a couple of missing pounds.

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The hardest struggle for me to accept my body is trying to remember it is a whole, not just bits put together. I could pick myself to pieces in front of the mirror when I was younger, I know it sounds weird, but my weight was a little up and down and sometimes when I was underweight I literally felt like I was 'missing' parts, like I was incomplete, and the same with when I was chubby, I saw bits of me like excess bagage and just failed to realise that I was complete and healthy. I guess thats why I am fairly happy with my body now that I see it as a useful, living thing rather than 'parts'.

Back on topic, I have never had an eating disorder as in anorexia or bulemia, but I know that ever since I was in primary school even, I would comfort eat when things were tough. The first time I was very unhappy at school, I think I actually confused that tearfull feeling with hunger, so instead of crying I stuffed my face to take away that weird choked up feeling.

The second time when I was being picked on and bullied, the opposite happened and I just lost my appetite. When you are on a fear-trip the whole time you just dont feel like eating.

Now I'm older, a) I can distiguish between feeling sad and feeling hungry and b)I am not being picked on and intimidated, so my eating patterns are a lot better, I'm pleased to say. Basically, my body image was never the reason why I had strange eating habits, but it did suffer as a result of it.

*badger*