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Author Topic:   Need to vent, concerns religious issues
StarryRedhead
Activist

Posts: 367
From: NY, USA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-09-2000 06:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarryRedhead     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, I am wiccan, have been wiccan since I was 11. My boyfriends family is VERY christian, VERRRY. I was always taught to be open to different people, cultures, religions, races, and I'm a very open-minded person because of that. Unfortunatley, not everyone is that way....guess I'm learning that now. Two nights ago my boyfriends mom burned my tarot cards, actually BURNED them (I felt like I was living in the past, not now), also burned a few books on wicca, and my pentagram. I started crying but she said she was doing me a favor by getting me out of the devils grip. I tried to explain that wicca is NOT bad unless you use your power in the wrong way, I practice white magic, and a true wiccan will not fall into the darker side of it, but she didn't even want to hear it, she says, it still is the devils work.

I just feel very upset right now because of all this, first of all a friend of mine got those tarot cards for me last Christmas, they were a present. I just don't understand, I never caused her any harm, I don't push my beliefs on her, why does she have to push hers on me? I am trying to show her that I am not evil, not possesed, lol. I even go to church with her and my boyfriend every so often. She can get rid of all my books on wicca, burn my tarot cards, but that doesn't change who I am. I have done all I can to prove I'm not a bad person, but she won't believe it until I become christian. I will learn about being christian, no problem, but I just can't believe in something I don't believe in. And now I feel like this is going to be the downfall of me and my boyfriends relationship. If him and his family can't accept me, I don't want to be involved with them.

I am trying my best to understand, I've always been really understanding, but this is hard.....it really hurt to see something that meant something to me, burned. Just needed to vent!

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}{*Starry Ali*}{

"It's a narrow margin, just room enough for regret, in the inch and a half between, "Hey, how ya been?" and "Can I kiss you yet?"

~Alisons Life~

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Miz Scarlet
Sexpert

Posts: 19846
From: Minneapolis
Registered: May 2000

posted 10-09-2000 06:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Miz Scarlet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Alison, I am so sorry you are having to go through this. It is especially tough when you come from a tradition which is, by it's nature, pretty non-judgemental.

As a hereditary witch (though I practice both Wicca and Buddhism) I can understand. I had a similar thing happen to my own grandmother's tarot deck, and I was beside myself.

All I can really suggest is that if you want to try and make this work, you ask if you and she can have a talk, and explain that you aren't converting, you are what you are, and you'd like it if she could respect your tradition in the same way you are pretty clearly respecting hers. If she can't (and let her know she can tell you if she just can't) I think you'll simply need to agree to disagree, and keep your belongings away from her, and make some choices about being involved with them, which I certainly think is reasonable.

As a note, earth religions far predate Christianity, and the concept of Satan. If you like, I can dig a little through my bookshelves (and boxes, we're still unpacking) and suggest a few books that address issues concerning Christianity and pre-Christianity that might help.

I'm sorry you're going through this, sweetie. Big hugs to you.

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Beppie
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Posts: 2131
From: Australia
Registered: Jun 2000

posted 10-09-2000 06:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Beppie     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
What right did she have to burn your property? It sounds like you need to set some ultimatums, like that she keeps her hands off things that belong to you. Make it clear that your spiritual life is your responsibility.

Also, where does your boyfriend come into all of this? Have you talked with him about his mother's actions, to get to know how he feels about it? Ultimately, if he's playing along with it, then there's some fairly serious problems, since he would be denying an important part of who you are. It sounds like you might need to have a Big Talk pretty soon. But first, of course, make sure you know his stance on the issue- for all I know he could be completely supportive of you.

[This message has been edited by Beppie (edited 09 October 2000).]

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Ron
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Posts: 364
From: San Cristobal de Las Casas, Chiapas, Mexico
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-09-2000 06:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ron     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I agree with Beppie. This is pretty outrageous. You could sue her for that and probably win in court, though I don't recommend that course of action. But that's how serious this is, that was an outrageous violation of your individual rights.

I really don't think you should put up with it . I think you should get out of there now and see if your bf cares enough about you enough to come looking for you with and apology--and a new tarot deck! That's what I would tell my daughter

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*evil*vampiress*
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Posts: 36
From: ontario, canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-09-2000 08:33 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for *evil*vampiress*     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey ,
I'm also wiccan , and I have also had my property burned more than once . I feel this is outrageous, and people should not be so ignorant , and before they actually go out and cause harm onto another , they should actually find out what the heck their trying to prove .And another thing , they shouldnt even be causing harm , why cant we just all learn to accept eachother for who we are . We all are wonderful original individuals , and come in all ways , shapes and forms . We just have 2 learn to accept another that may be different from us , and not try to change them to fulfil our own selfish needs .

And by the way , im also really annoyed when people think wicca is evil , i think before the say something about it , they should at least educate themselves on it ! People should stop trying to force religions on others!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... I also think its a good idea to find out where ur b/f stands in all of this .....

may u have strength through this time in your life

luv always

*hugz*

..alexandra.


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kiss and kill me sweetly...

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StarryRedhead
Activist

Posts: 367
From: NY, USA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-10-2000 12:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarryRedhead     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you so much for all your advice.

I plan to try to talk to her. My boyfriend is a lot more supportive but doesn't really believe that wicca is not satanism or devil worship, he does listen to me though about what I believe. I'm gonna try to explain and if she can't listen I'm just gonna have to get away from not only her, but my boyfriend too. As much as he means to me, there are many other guys who I know would not make me feel like I have to hide my beliefs in order to be in their life. And the burning was outrageous, I really couldn't believe anyone could be so narrow minded.

I've been talking to some of my friends who are christian and since they've explained why she is not accepting of wicca, I will be able to talk to her better about it. Hopefully it will turn out OKAY, if not, I will live. Thanks again!

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}{*Starry Ali*}{

"It's a narrow margin, just room enough for regret, in the inch and a half between, "Hey, how ya been?" and "Can I kiss you yet?"

~Alisons Life~

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Daisyluv
Activist

Posts: 123
From: My House, Canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-10-2000 09:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Daisyluv     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Fellow wiccan here. My thing is how did she get ahold of your things? Though in any case she had no right to go through your private possessions. I so feel for you even thought this has never happened to me (my bfs family doesn't even know I'm wiccan) I've had the "talks" about how I'm going to hell and that I could change. I listen and respect what their saying but if someone went after my things oh wow I would be so frazzled because each of my things are speical to me. The only thing you can do is talk to her and at least let her know that if she doesn't want to respect your religon she should at least respect you.

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*~ Daisy ~*

"Cute is for puppies, Adorable is for me."

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Milke
Activist

Posts: 5122
From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow
Registered: Aug 2000

posted 10-10-2000 10:17 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Milke     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Redhead, as someone of Christian background with a Wiccan partner, I have some understanding of the mentality here (I'm not saying it's right,though). I'd consider myself a reasonably open and tolerant person, but there have been religious conflicts between the two of us, and these aren't something I'd wish on you. Wicca isn't evil, I belive you, but don't just say it, prove it! If you want people to be accepting of what you do, let them know what exactly that is, why you do it, and why it's a good thing. My partner's said that his religion avoids proselytizing, but it was his reluctance to talk about his beliefs (and my accompanying nervousness about what seemed to be a great secret) that caused a lot of our problems, and when you're dealing with someone whose background involves spreading their message, giving them yours seems like a good way to start. Bear in mind, too, that your guy's mum probably thought she was doing the best thing possible for you. For some extreme Christians, Pagans need to be saved in the same way that homosexuals do. Again, it may not be right, but it makes sense to them. So acknowledge that she meant well, show respect for her beliefs, and either try to explain the sense of yours, or just stay very quiet (less offensive, but might be a bit late now). And let your guy know what you do. Please. It's the quiet about these things that can make them seem so scary. And it's not necessarily something people feel safe asking about, remember, it is an occult religion. Good luck!

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DarkChild717
Advocate

Posts: 1420
From: The Evergreen State
Registered: Jun 2000

posted 10-11-2000 11:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DarkChild717     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm so sorry. I understand your confusion.
I attened a bible camp two summers ago.
This is what they told me (no offense to anyone-these are NOT my beliefs):
-Catholics will go to hell.
-Swearing will send you to hell.
-Having a friend that is Catholic is hell.
-Pre-maritual sex is hell.
-Bad thoughs are hell.
-If you do not give yourself to Jesus, you will go to hell.
My best friend is Catholic. I swear. I have a gutter mind. I am exploring wicca. (any info would be good!) I am studying early European history-all on religion. Christianity has never been accepting. I highly doubt they ever will.
I don't think you will be able to change your boyfriends mothers mind. It doesn't easily. I am truly sorry you had to watch your personal belongings burned. In my state, that is illegal. I'm not sure about yours. But be strong, and be yourself. She can burn your things, but she cannot burn your spirit.

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After seven months without snow, desperation overrides common sense.

Bliss=Me+Ryan+secluded backside at Steven's Pass

Snow is the worlds security blanket. It makes it serene, quiet and beautiful.

"Close your eyes for they see only the truth and the truth is not what you want to see."

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Ron
Activist

Posts: 364
From: San Cristobal de Las Casas, Chiapas, Mexico
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-12-2000 06:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Ron     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I assumed most of you know about it, but there is an extraordinary web site for wicca called the witches voice. (http://www.witchvox.com/)
It has scads of info, a whole wiccan teens section and lots of discussion about this topic. I am a buddhist pagan--though lables like that don't really mean much--and I consult this page all the time. No adds and great folks who run it.

There is lots of advice and sharing of experience of how to just what Milke is saying, how to talk to parents, to christians, to reporters (!). Now there is a big halloween section. Check it out

[This message has been edited by Ron (edited 12 October 2000).]

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