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 Safe-Sex Instruction to Friends -- Help.
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| Author | Topic: Safe-Sex Instruction to Friends -- Help. |
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Dude_who_writes Advocate Posts: 673 |
posted 12-09-2001 05:16 PM
  
Ok, I hate to start off request for advice by saying "I have these friends," but I'm going to do it anyway. I have to friends, both female, and both having unprotected sex. Not with each other, but with seperate "boyfriends." One of these friends, we'll call her "Maggie," has had so many boyfriends that even she can no longer keep count. And the other friend, we'll call her "Kara," still admits to having unprotected sex, even though she's gone through an abortion a meer three months ago. My question is how do I approach the topic of safe sex to them, without offending or sending the wrong messages to them. Even though we've had lively discussions about sex, I'm pretty sure that if I were to start passing out condoms to them and/or preaching the joys of the pill, they might take it the wrong way. Please help me, Ann Landers of the Safe-Sex World, find a way enlighten them about the necessity of safe-sex without sending the wrong message. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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kitty pryde Neophyte Posts: 22 |
posted 12-09-2001 05:43 PM
Hmm. I've got a very similar situation, so I'll just post it here. I've got a good friend who's just starting to become sexually active. I have no idea what she's doing with respect to Safer Sex, and I'd like to make sure she's informed, but how do I bring it up without sounding awkward or patronizing? Is it really any of my buisness at all? IP: Logged |
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LilBlueSmurf Sexpert Posts: 5209 |
posted 12-09-2001 07:48 PM
It's totally awsome that you guys care so much about your friends!  Why not send them this way ... ? Just give them the web address and let them know that they can post any questions whenever they feel like, or just browse around and see what they can learn. If you let them know the facts, and they still choose the unprotected sex route, there's really not a lot you can do. But hey ... why not make a safer sex kit for a christmas/holiday present? You can head on over here for more discussion on this idea IP: Logged |
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Dude_who_writes Advocate Posts: 673 |
posted 12-09-2001 08:22 PM
Hmm... A safer-sex kit isn't a bad idea for a holiday present. It's sort of the gift that keeps on 'giving' Thanks Lil! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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kitty pryde Neophyte Posts: 22 |
posted 12-10-2001 12:33 AM
Well, she's the kind of person who's a bit intimidated by the internet, so telling her about this site probably wouldn't do much good. But I managed to work it out a little earlier today. friend: ...so I might give him head soon. So we had a nice discussion about the wonders of flavored lubricant and other facts of life, and we both feel much better now. And I got my info from Scarleteen, so yay for that! And the Christmas Safer Sex kit idea sounds great, I'll think about it. Should be fun to put together. IP: Logged |
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Alaska Sexpert Posts: 4499 |
posted 12-10-2001 05:40 AM
Good on you tow for caring about your friends. If they aren't all interested in the net, how about giving them a good book on sex ed (or printed out articles from Scarleteen) with the Safer Sex kit for Christmas? Once you've started discusing the issue, you might all head out to your local clinic together: many clinics do have peer counselling or would be willing (or happy) to counsel a group of friends together on STDs, Safer Sex and birth control during the time set aside for teen cousenling. Going together is far easier than going alone. And while you are there, you could all get a joined STD screen, too. In all your teaching attempts, just make sure that you not only show that you don't want to preach, but share the info with them because you care about them deeply and are worried. Make clear it's not that you disagree with them being sexually active (it's their choice, after all), but about them doing so without caring for themselves. Many people (especially gals) do not practise safer sex because they lack the info, or because they feel that they can not voice their needs and standards to their partners. So encourage your friends to be strong and firm in their beliefs. ------------------ "Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise." IP: Logged |
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Daydreamer24 Advocate Posts: 1619 |
posted 03-24-2002 07:19 PM
In relation to this topic... One of my best friends has a boyfriend (her first) of about 2 weeks. She just told me yesterday that they had oral sex. It was totally last minute, & they didn't consider STDs (which he probably has) or anything else. I told my friend this was VERY dangerous and she said it wasn't, and I kept reassuring her that it was. She said he didn't ejaculate in her mouth and I told her that if his penis got near her mouth then it would be dangerous, but she's stubborn and will probably do it again. This byfar blew me away more than anything that has ever done so before. I'm more emotionally upset because she's the last person I would expect to do something like that -- she's 14. I'm worried about her. I... don't even know. It's overwhelming. What can I tell her?? IP: Logged |
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ookuotoe Advocate Posts: 2548 |
posted 03-24-2002 07:57 PM
Print off some articles for her. I suggest: Safe, Sound & Sexy – A Safer Sex How-To What's The Risk? - Five Easy Risk Assessment Flow Charts Margaret Sangers Disneyland - An easy chart of your birth control options A Quickie STD/STI Risk Assessment ------------------ IP: Logged |
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HeatherRocksMyBobbySocks Activist Posts: 103 |
posted 03-24-2002 08:51 PM
The more you talk to them, the easier it gets. I became the "sex advice girl" long before I was sexually active because I knew so much about safe sex. And I always keep a supply of safe sex supplies around to give to my friends when they're having sex or planning on it. Next thing you know people are coming up to you going "umm...is it really true you can get STDs from oral sex? it is!? how can I protect myself?" IP: Logged |
. Plus, it gives me a chance to better develop mine.All times are CT | next newest topic | next oldest topic |
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