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Author Topic:   Approaching someone
lilnerd
Activist

Posts: 540
From: NY
Registered: Sep 2000

posted 10-19-2001 09:12 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for lilnerd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
...Someone you've never talked to that is. I am interested in this boy that I know, SERIOUSLY, nothing about. I pass him in the hallways all the time and I keep saying that one day I'm just gonna stop him and say something... but... what?! I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM! How do you approach someone that's really a stranger without looking stupid :/ ?

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"I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal"
~Incubus

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Gumdrop Girl
Sexpert

Posts: 11271
From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-19-2001 10:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
my boyfriend did just that. he spotted me in a crowd and just came up to me and started talking.

here's what he did. He found something on me to comment about. Then he came up to me and commented. In my case, he made a cheesy remark about my hair color.

you can say something like, "hey, cool shirt" or if he's wearing some band merch apparel, you can say, "you like them, too?" it's small talk. but don't rely on it too long. if he wants to keep talking, he will.

good luck!

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Living proof that it's hip to be square .

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 10-20-2001 01:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
If you are too shy to actually go up to him, how about making some eye contact and smiling at him when you pass by him?

If he smiles back or seems friendly, the next time you see him, take up Gummy's advice and just say something casual about the weather or something he is wearing and just take it from there.

Good luck hon.

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ookuotoe
Advocate

Posts: 2548
From: Na-tah-ka, MI, US
Registered: Sep 2001

posted 10-20-2001 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ookuotoe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I try to make contact with someone that I know nothing about whenever the opportunity arrives. Instead of thinking that I'm stupid the people I talk to seem a trifle flattered that I'm interested. Sure, sometimes they're a little surprised or bewildered but I did just pop up out of nowhere after all. The worst that has ever happened is someone thinking I'm weird. I've made some great friends this way. Go for it. It's fun and you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

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311
Neophyte

Posts: 6
From: Seattle
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 10-21-2001 04:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for 311     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
being a guy, i love it when chicks just come up to me and start talking. oh wait, thats never happened to me. never mind.

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Sallynha
Activist

Posts: 390
From: * my own little shell *
Registered: Jun 2000

posted 10-21-2001 07:09 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sallynha     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
311, that was funny

I think this thread is gonna be useful to me hehe

2 weeks ago I kind of talked with a guy (well he came and asked me a question related to the event we were taking part at Uni -hard to explain hehe-), and I thought he was really cute -and nice, which is even more important-, but we only talked like for less than 5 minutes, and then I had to go away and never saw him again... I'm always looking around, but I don't thik that if I see him I'll have the guts to approach him and actually *talk* since I am so shy... but... I'll try the eye contact thing... ...I mean, I don't even know if he has a girlfriend but what the hell hehe

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~Sallynha
The Beautiful Smile Hides The Troubled Soul

ICQ# 123898306

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lilnerd
Activist

Posts: 540
From: NY
Registered: Sep 2000

posted 10-21-2001 11:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for lilnerd     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by ookuotoe:
It's fun and you have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

True true true..... I have got to do this!

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"I suggest we learn to love ourselves before it's made illegal"
~Incubus

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Daydreamer24
Advocate

Posts: 1619
From: TEXAS
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 10-21-2001 02:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Daydreamer24     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Wow. I'm in the exact same position you're in this very second! I really shouldn't be one to talk, because I'm really shy and don't have the nerve to talk to my crush, but I do have some advice for ya.

Imagine yourself in his shoes. A girl (or guy, which ever way you're looking at it) coming up to you and making small talk with you wouldn't be so bad, huh? Well... there ya go!

Man, I really need to start talking my own advice...

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"Only in America, dreamin' in red white and blue. Only in America, where we dream as big as we want to. We all get a chance, everybody gets to dance. Only in America, where we dream as big as we want to..." "Only in America", by Brooks and Dunn

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DC_WillowFan
Activist

Posts: 201
From: Montreal, Qc, Canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-22-2001 07:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DC_WillowFan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I was in such position about 2-3 years ago, and well it's quite a complex process but easy to do.

First of all, have confidence in yourself. If you don't, you might not success.

Second, make eye-contact. It's always good to see if the person seems interested or if he/she's friendly.

Third, the talking part. Probably the hardest but at the same time it's the easier. Just say "hi", or as Gumdrop Girl said, give the person a comment about his/her shirt or something like that.

And yes, the worse thing that can happen is that the person is taken or isn't interested.

Btw, if you wonder how mine ended, well it didn't worked out, as she didn't seemed to be interested. Although I'm proud to say that I successfully passed by the 3 steps

David

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- I hope I shall be able to confide in you completely, as I have never been able to do in anyone before, and I hope that you will be a great support and comfort to me.

Anne Frank to her journal
(1929-1945)

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Daigoro
Neophyte

Posts: 9
From:
Registered: Jun 2001

posted 11-04-2001 01:54 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Daigoro     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, I can tell you that most of us guys often feel flattered (and a little intrigued) when a girl we don't know comes up to talk to us. Lin and Daydreamer24 are right: if you're too shy to talk to that guy, just smile at him, a girl's smile can work wonders (well, it does for me! ). Or just picture yourself being approached by a guy you don't know, I guess it wouldn't bother you, right?

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