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TenaciousD14
Neophyte

Posts: 1
From:
Registered: Oct 2001

posted 10-14-2001 04:59 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for TenaciousD14     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How does a 14 year old male loser (like me) in 9th grade meet people? Most of the friends that I have now started talking to me, so I don't know how to start a conversation with people or what to talk about. Basicaly I'm just plain socialy chalanged so I play games and surf the web all day, wear almost the same clothes every day not knowing what else to do. So what should I do? Thx in advance for any advice whatso ever and if you have any questions I'mm be glad to answer them for you.

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Like they say, Just do it. What have you got to lose?
Now if only I could follow my own advice...

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John Doe
Activist

Posts: 475
From: ohio
Registered: May 2001

posted 10-14-2001 06:48 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for John Doe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
There are plenty of 14 yo's who are shy and awkward, so you are not alone. You might try wearing a variety of clothes. I would imagine that the on es you are wearing get a little ripe. How about moving into a rotation with your clothes. Have say 10 different outfits and wear a different one each day and when you get to day 11 go back to wha you wore on day 1.
As for talking to people, try starting with harmless stuff, say about how your HS football team did on friday night. Then you might steer the conversation around to things that you are interested in, like some of the games you are playing or interesting things you have found while surfing the net.
Stop defining yourself as a loser, it is the ultimat self fullfilling prophicy.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 10-14-2001 08:15 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yup, Ten, I agree with John here - you're not a loser, chap!

Many people are shy or go throug a shy phase in their lives, and even those who most of the time have no trouble meeting people come in situations when they are shy. So give yourself a break here.

John gave some good advice here, and I can only add that you simply make slow steps and set some small goals for yourself, such as saying Hi to people you're in class with, and starting conversations on simple stuff, such as classwork, or school teams or whatever else. And once you are pretty comfy doing that, I am sure the chats with the people around you will move to other issues, too.

Also, are there any clubs or teams in your school or area that you might want to join? Maybe a new sports class or a computer class? - Doing somethign new is usually a great way to meet some new people, when you all do something new in a group of people that don't know each other, everyone is at the same level and a bit shy.

So get out a bit, chap, and I am sure you can do it!

Good luck!

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Caro
~spanking new Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept

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Gumdrop Girl
Sexpert

Posts: 11271
From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-14-2001 12:23 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i'm a geek, so i've been there, too.

do you have clubs at your high school? maybe you might want to join some of them. my HS had clubs for computer nerds, and I was pretty active in those (as well as all the academic clubs). You can even start a club. Like music? Then get a teacher to sponsor a music listeners' club, and put up fliers around school to advertise meetings.

but my favorite method is just to start saying "hi" to people you sort of know. then after a while, if you get brave enough, say other things, too. it's a pretty simple way of going about meeting and talking to new people.

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Living proof that it's hip to be square .

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MoonChild
Neophyte

Posts: 21
From: i forget
Registered: Jul 2001

posted 10-14-2001 03:08 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for MoonChild     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Smile....i swear, being happy and having a positive attitude solves everything.

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littleone
Activist

Posts: 83
From: toronto
Registered: Jul 2001

posted 10-14-2001 03:10 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for littleone     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ooh geek girl over here!!
tenacious, take a deep breath and relax.
you are not a loser, that is a silly term that people use on others to make themselves look better.
be proud of who you are
if you are a computer geek, then be proud of that
i know i am, and so is my boyfriend and so are my friends
as for the clothing...take johns advice.
do you have any female friends? maybe get them to go shopping for clothes with you.
believe me
some of the most interesting people i know
and practically all of my best friends are geeks who surf the net 24/7 (except when we are all hanging out) and they are NOT losers.
so cheer up...highschool is most certainly NOT a reflection of real life.

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BruinDan
Activist

Posts: 2727
From:
Registered: Mar 2001

posted 10-14-2001 11:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for BruinDan     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Gumdrop Girl:
living proof that its hip to be square

I thought I was the only one in the world who remembered that awful Huey Lewis and the News song from 1985.

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DreAm*GurL
Neophyte

Posts: 28
From: Chocolate City
Registered: Aug 2001

posted 10-16-2001 03:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for DreAm*GurL     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
hey coming from someone who talks to everyone its just happens walk by and casually say hello!
do u have msn, yahoo, icq? its a miracle worker some of my best friends, we began talkin on icq its amazing my bf too. but make sure u keep to talking to people from your school and VIOLA!
or if u don't in the hall say hey how r ya? ask some of your freinds to introduce u to new people.. its a big circle it'll all work out don't worry life gets easier, being happy is a good key as well happy and bubbly but not annoyingly is the key!
GOOD LUCK?!!!!!!!!!!

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 10-16-2001 04:24 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OFF TOPIC (I guess)

quote:
Originally posted by BruinDan:
I thought I was the only one in the world who remembered that awful Huey Lewis and the News song from 1985.

Oh no.....I am afraid more people remember that horrid song - after all it has an eternal pedestal in a full chapter on Huey Lee Lewis in Bret Easton Ellises "American Psycho".

Yay. Serial Killer music.

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Caro
~spanking new Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept

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Gumdrop Girl
Sexpert

Posts: 11271
From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 10-16-2001 11:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OT: are you folks dissin' Huey Lewis??? don't *even*!

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Living proof that it's hip to be square .

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