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Author Topic:   Anyone Been In A Relationship Like This?
momma cat

Posts: 155
From: WA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 02-24-2001 05:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for momma cat     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A really great thing happened several weeks ago: for the first time in my life, I slept with a guy! And that's all we did: sleep. We met through a mutual friend and then kept running into each other around campus and quickly became close friend and spent time together daily. We were 'going out' for 23 hours early on, but he decided that he didn't want a serious relationship at that moment in his life. But we still hung out together and tickled and wrestled and boasting about who would be mopping the floor with who in Half Life.

One weekend his roomate's gone and he asks if I would like to spend the night and it sounded like a good idea, and it was. We ordered pizza and watched TV and talked, all the usual stuff, then it got to be about 2am. Andy went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and stuff while I stayed in his room and put on pajamas, then I went to brush my teeth and he got changed, then we got into bed and turned out the lights. And talked, and fought over the pillow and blankets

It was just so great to have a warm body to cuddle up to and fall asleep with one arm thrown over his side, then wake up to someone's embrace. It wasn't very sexual at all, mostly just comforting. We're away from all our friends and family and thrown together with people not of our choosing. I'm so honored that he would feel that comfortable with me-swallowing a couple pills then using an inhaler or two and squirting stuff up your nose so you can breathe before you go to bed isn't the most glamorous thing in the world.

Since then we've done that a couple more times. Once on a school night which was a mistake - I don't get a whole lot of sleep when I spend the night with him because these darn dorm beds are 33 inches wide, and our combined shoulder width is more than that. I didn't get much sleep at all the first night because my flannel pajamas are way to warm to wear when sleeping under the same covers as a guy who puts off a whole lotta heat! And it was just so interesting sleeping next to another human being...they move! And make noises! And he weighs 100 lbs more than me so when he accidentally rolls ontop of me or shoves me against the wall it takes a while to get free.

Anybody else ever slept with the opposite sex in a non-boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and non-family member?

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Lady Moonlight

Posts: 943
From: Missouri, USA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 02-24-2001 04:56 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lady Moonlight     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I can't say I've ever had a relationship like that but it sounds wonderful.


And I've got no illusions about you.
Guess what? I never did.
When I said, when I said, "I'll take it."
I meant, I meant As Is.
--Ani DiFranco, "As Is"

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Posts: 1538
From: boston, ma, USA
Registered: Jun 2000

posted 02-24-2001 07:36 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Hanne     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Mmm, yeah. Actually, reading your post definitely takes me back. I had relationships like that with a lot of my friends in college. It was really lovely, much of the time. With some of them there was a lot of nice kissing too, but nothing genital going on. Just a lot of lovely closeness and intimacy without genital sex... works for me!

Hanne Blank
Co-Editor, Scarleteen

Start a Revolution -- Stop Hating Your Body!

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Gumdrop Girl

Posts: 11271
From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 02-25-2001 01:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
my ex and i would sleep. and we would sleep like the dead. i'm surprised either of us could wake up.

and we slept in the dorm beds. it can be done. you just have to get used to it.

but i have a full-size futon now. but my boyfriend has a twin bunk. sleeping at his place is like sleeping in the dorms.

Kill your TV! And while you're at it, your mobile phone, too.

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Posts: 123
From: My House, Canada
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 02-27-2001 11:49 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Daisyluv     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I remember this one week where for 3 nights in a row my boyfriend would come over and we'd cuddle and talk till we fell asleep it was so nice and romantic. It even helps you have the most peaceful, happy dreams knowing that some one is there to keep you safe. And waking up before them and watching them sleep is so adorable well they are

*~ Daisy ~*
"It's 8am and today I wanna save the world.
.....I'll start from my bed."

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loveable me

Posts: 28
From: København, Denamrk
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 02-28-2001 03:24 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for loveable me     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yes i have and because i can still remember the feelings i know they must have been important to me. To me emotional intimacy -- feeling safe and vulnerable-- is more important than sex although intimacy in sex is the best.

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Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 02-28-2001 04:30 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I wish I could do the sae with my guy. I'm a horrible person to sleep with.

I have a huge bed but I still kick my guy off. Plus I like to wrap myself up in the entire blanket and he gets nothing.

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Posts: 365
From: dayton,ohio,u.s.a.
Registered: Oct 2000

posted 02-28-2001 12:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for unhappykoger     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
thats how me and my husband started out and as time went by we got closer and closer and then it turned into what we have now. i dont know how you feel about long term relationships but i do want to say dont rush into anything more than you are ready for and it sounds wonderful. i wish you the best.


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Posts: 367
From: NY, USA
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 03-01-2001 11:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for StarryRedhead     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hmmm, sounds familiar and lovely. Most of my friends are guys and I usually get really close to them. Sometimes we end up sleeping together in the same bed with nothing sexual going on, but we'll hug eachother, talk, etc,. Sometimes it does get sexual but if we're both tired and just trying to sleep it's usually just a few kisses and it's never awkward the next day because we talk about it.

I think a relationship like that can be very comforting as long as you're not aching for something more. It can be a wonderful comfort to have a friendship like that.

}{*Starry Ali*}{
"You just close your eyes slowly like you're waiting for a kiss, and hope some lowly little power will pull you out of this..."

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Posts: 38
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 03-01-2001 10:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for daisygirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
i love just sleeping! its great... my boyfriend and i love just sleeping together... even if we have a long distance relationship, its still nice when we do see each other to just hold each other and sleep... so yay for your cool relationship!!! and i must agree: dorm beds are horrible, but after awhile sleeping with someone on them, you get used to it

i'm gonna clear my head, i'm gonna drink that sun. i'm gonna love you good and strong while our love is good and young.
--indigo girls

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