Could you just confirm for my boyfriend who is a lil worried that i cannot be pregnent.

Thanks a lot,
Sadie

It is typical for intercourse itself to only last a few minutes, especially for young men. The length of time is not what determines what intercourse ("sex") is: intercourse is when a penis enters the vagina, and that's just that. You have had sex.

And doing so without any reliable birth control presents high risks of pregnancy and STI transmission. So you absolutely COULD HAVE become pregnant.

It was only yesterday and no my religios beliefs do not support emergancy contraception, should i just throw myself down the stairs to get rid of it?

Moreover, if you DID throw yourself down the stairs to try and terminate a pregnancy...you'd still be trying to terminate a pregnancy. If you succeeded in doing so, you'd stil have terminated a pregnancy, and doing so bia self-injury is no more okay by Catholic doctrine than via safe, medical means.

Sweetheart, I'm going to ask you to think about something. You have ALREADY gone outside doctrine by having pre-marital sex. And now you're suggesting stepping outside it once again to try and terminate a pregnancy (which could not even have happened yet if it's just been a few days since the sex, and I'll explain that for you in a minute) by both inefficient and incredibly dangerous means.

Emergency contraception works as any contraceptive method does, by PREVENTING pregnancy. It can do that for up to five days after a risk because it takes the body about seven days or so to become pregnant: for a sperm to fertilize an egg and for the egg to implant. If you do not wish to become pregnant, and it has been less than five days, I'd encourage you to look into this, rather than trying to do yourself bodily harm -- and likely make no difference in preventing pregnancy. And obviously, this would be preferable for you to abortion after the fact, if you are not prepared to be pregnant.

I feel like I should also tell you that MOST Catholic women use some method of contraception. Why? For a lot of reasons. Because they do not want to live as if they were baby factories, or are not okay with unplanned pregnancies. Because they are concerned with having too many children to care for well. Because having only healthy children is important to them. Because they simply cannot afford children, or do not wish to be parents. Lots of reasons. Many Catholics feel very strongly that the Catholic Church's ban on contraception is incredibly outmoded, sexist and NOT in the best interest of anyone, especially children and women. Obviously, you will have whatever stance you do on that, now and over time. But just know that many Catholics -- most, statistically -- DO use contraception, and many do not feel that is a conflict.

You may find this article by this excellent catholic organization of use to you: http://www.catholicsforchoice.org/articles/c4cbrochurelong.asp

If you have more questions about EC, about how to handle this, do feel free to ask.

Obviously, you also need to take some time and think about your sexual choices. ALL kinds of sex ARE prematiral sex, not just intercourse, if again, you're going to follow that doctrine strictly. If you're not going to follow it, but you're also not prepared to be a parent, you have got to use methods of contraception, and you also will need to practice safer sex to safeguard your health. Obviously, no matter your religion, if you're not ready for any of that, or able to deal with any of that -- parenting, infections or contraception and safer sex -- then the best choice for you is going to be to abstain from partnered sex.

Please do not feel like an idiot. It's pretty obvious that you didn't have the accurate information required to know what you were choosing to do here, and to risk, and that is NOT your fault. But let's see what we can do to help you do the very best you can to manage this crisis and then make the best choices for yourself accordingly, okay?

I also think that if your religious beliefs don't condone contraception, or emergency contraception, they aren't going to condone harming yourself in an attempt to terminate a pregnancy either.

Remember, that it is your choice whether or not to seek out emergency contraception (EC), and that doctors in England are able to keep things confidential. If it is against your religious beliefs to use emergency contraception, then of course I respect that, but if it comes to a choice between doing yourself harm and using EC, I'd recommend the EC.

If you don't take EC, then all you can do is wait until 10-14 days after the risk occured, and take a pregnancy test. If that comes up negative, you'll need to take a second test a week later, as false negatives are possible this early on.

You and your partner also need to make an appointment with your doctor to be tested for STDs and STIs, as unprotected intercourse also carries a high disease transmission risk.

(Mindmeld-- I posted this not knowing that Miz S was already on it!)