Until this past week I thought I had a near perfect life. I come from a really close family. I thought they had instilled good values in me. We aren’t really religious, but they always told me to help others and treat people like I want to be treated. I feel my parents taught me self respect. They told me I should not be sexually active with people I am not committed to and in love with. So I think I am a virgin, but I am not quite sure anymore. I am not sure of anything anymore.

Like I said, I come from a really tight family. Growing up I always tickled myself. My arms, neck, face, legs etc… I didn’t see anything wrong with it. I have tickled mom, dad, and my brothers and they have also tickled me. I mean it is just lightly running your fingers up and down someone’s arm, leg, neck etc… I never saw anything wrong with that. I have done it my entire life.

Well I was in class, I was tickling my arm sitting back and listening to a lecture in history. Suddenly the teacher comes to the back of the class, grabs me up and hauls me to the principal’s office. I waited outside his door for about ten minutes and then they called me in there. The next thing I know they are talking about how that is inappropriate for class, threatening to give me detention, telling me that is something that should only be done in private at home, etc… finally I broke down crying and they just kept on.

Since then teachers have given me disapproving looks, students laugh at me, and the principal has called me in his office twice to ensure the ‘tickling’ has stopped.

I finally thought of posting here since you have and talk about sex all day long. I guess here are my questions.

#1 Is tickling the equivalent of masturbating?
#2 Have I been involved in incest?
#3 Have I been molested?

I can’t talk any of my family, teachers, or friends about this. I am totally alone. Normally I would tell mom or dad about this, but if I am being abused and don’t know it then something needs to change. I don’t want them to tell me everything is OK if it is not. I mean I thought our family was normal. They seem like my friends family only less dysfunctional or so I thought. Are we the dysfunctional ones? My parents sleep together, my brothers share a bedroom, and I have my own. We don’t walk around the house naked or anything. Occasionally though while watching TV or something we may tickle each others arms or legs. Am I a horrible pervert? Are they? What have I been doing? If I am being abused should I report it and if so who should it be reported to?

Thank you for any help or advice you can give. My parents always told me never to let anyone touch me in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. I am scared to death now.

(Molestation and incest are SEXUAL abuse. For instance, examples of this would be a family member engaging your genitals sexually, or coercing you into genital sex, fondling your breasts or having you fondle family members sexually, et cetera. Tickling and roughhousing are highly unlikely to fall into that category.)

Tickling is not masturbating. Liking tickling is in no way an indicator of having been abused. I'm actually totally uncertain where you're coming from in assuming abuse has occurred.

From what you have posted here, the ONLY abuse behaviour I see is that of your teacher. Grabbing a student physically, THAT is abusive.

Now, perhaps you're doing something I'm simply not picturing correctly, but if you were simply stroking your own arm during class, color me as totally confused as you are as to why this would in any way be an issue, be something a teacher or prinicpal would be concerned with, would be something you would be told to do at home, or would result in mocking or harassment. And being tickled by your family or having platonic physical play or roughousing isn't abusive unless, again, I am misunderstanding something.