Long story short, my husband began gender reassignment therapy in November, and is now living full-time as a woman. She's already changed her name, told her family and friends, and she'll be starting on hormones within the next few months. Full gender reassignment surgery will happen sometime in the next two years.

We've had our ups and downs through all of this, and it's certainly made for some difficult times in our relationship. We are staying together, though, and as an interesting aside, that means that we'll be a legally married same-sex couple once she has the surgery.

So that's my news for the day. I figured this was a pretty good use for my 300th post...

Kyth

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Advocate

"The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform."
-- Alfred Kinsey

(mutter mutter, UBB nonsense again)

[This message has been edited by kythryne (edited 01-26-2002).]

My parents are legally married, and my dad's a transexual. She lives as a woman, but has not had surgery. So their situation is pretty similar to Kyth's.

I'm actually doing really well with all of the trans issues right now; I was never particularly upset about any of it, just surprised by how quickly it all happened. My partner's doing a lot better emotionally now that she's living full-time as a woman, and in turn, our relationship is doing better too. It's been a challenge mainly in terms of worrying about what other people will think -- and we're finding that most people really don't care at all.

Kyth

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Advocate

Sorry, just curious.

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*~*~12/3/99*~*
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<3 love forever!

Monk N Bear~ Best Friends Forever! ~Luv ya babe!

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My first reaction was along the lines of "wow, I didn't expect this to happen this soon." I wasn't at all surprised by it -- I think I'd rather expected that it might come up someday.

I never felt betrayed at all -- that's a common reaction, I know, but one that I just don't relate to in the slightest. I know that's largely because gender doesn't particularly matter to me when it comes to relationships. If my partner had been born female, I would have still wanted to marry her.

As for wanting it to happen -- yes, once I saw how much it meant to her, I absolutely wanted her to go through with transitioning and surgery. She's only just started on the transitioning process (it'll take at least another two years) but already it's made an incredible difference in her emotional well-being.

Kyth

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Advocate

Just wanted to send some energy your and your wifes way, gal. So good that this has been going so well so far, here's to hoping that you'll keep mastering the ups and downs of the transition period as well as you tow already have.

If you don't mind sharing: what will the next few steps be for her? I only know about the protocol over here, which requires extensive therapeutic assistance by several psychiatrists for a period of at least 2 years while living as the desired gender full-time and getting hormone treatment before surgery can happen.
So what will the drill be for her now? Do I remeber it correctly that it is not possible to change your registered gender in the US?

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Caro
~Scarleteen Sexpert~

"Through repetition the magic will be forced to rise."
Alchemical Precept

quote:

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If you don't mind sharing: what will the next few steps be for her? I only know about the protocol over here, which requires extensive therapeutic assistance by several psychiatrists for a period of at least 2 years while living as the desired gender full-time and getting hormone treatment before surgery can happen.

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It's similar here. She has to do six months of talk-therapy before starting hormone therapy, and then she has to live full-time as a woman (the "real-life test") for a minimum of a year before she can have surgery. The doctor she wants to have for the surgery requires a year and a half, though, which is why it'll be the better part of two years before she's done. And, of course, we have to find some way to finance all of it -- it'll cost somewhere in the vicinity of $25,000 by the time it's all over.

quote:

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Do I remeber it correctly that it is not possible to change your registered gender in the US?

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It depends on the state you were born in. My partner was fortunately born in a state that will re-issue birth certificates after sex reassignment, so she'll be legally female once it's all over. Then it's just a matter of updating all the legal documents, etc.

If anybody's interested, here are two websites with information on transsexualism and sex reassignment:
http://transsexual.org http://www.annelawrence.com/index.html
Kyth

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Kythryne Aisling
Scarleteen Advocate

quote:

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Originally posted by kythryne:
It depends on the state you were born in. My partner was fortunately born in a state that will re-issue birth certificates after sex reassignment, so she'll be legally female once it's all over. Then it's just a matter of updating all the legal documents, etc.

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Will that affect the status of your marriage at all, since (unfortunately) legally marriage is still defined in all states as a union between a man and a woman?

So we'll be legally married lesbians. How cool is that?

quote:

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Originally posted by kythryne:

So we'll be legally married lesbians. How cool is that?

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so does that mean that you will consider yourself a lesbian?

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i love matt even through hes older