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Author Topic:   Alaska
Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 12-09-2000 02:19 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi everyone,

Even though I am still a newbie to the Scarleteen boards, it feels like I might stay for a while and hang around, so I thought I might just as well let you know who I am and have my own thread over here.

I am Alaska – It’s a nick that I’ve been using online for quite a while now. It comes from two pretty good songs by Lou Reed in which my real name is mentioned – the girl in the songs is “like poison in a vial” and wants “a man not just a boy”. - I am actually relatively harmless (well, I am these days), but a guy I turned down mailed me these lyrics...Wonder whether he really though I was that mean. In one of the songs, the girl my name is called “Alaska” and there is this memorable line “It’s so cold in Alaska”. Probably true. At least towards that guy. Anyway.

I’m 22 years old and from Germany. While I was born in the north-west of Germany, I now live in the south-west corner of the country, a handy 30 minute drive away from both the French and Swiss border - I probably consider myself more “European” than “German” or whatever. I am at Law School – in my fourth year – and when I am procrastinating (an art I have perfectioned during my course), I am online and love to read about Sexuality and everything connected – I just somehow, someday ended up on Scarleteens after a link from one of Heathers other sites. I wish I had had all the info available here on hand when I first got sexually active. I really like the diversity over here at Scarleteen and I think that this place is a positive example that people can have open, responsible communication about sexuality, emotions and other issues.

I am hetero and in a monogamous relationship. – I was pretty experimental in my teens (unfortunately for the wrong reasons – looking for stability and love where I definitely wouldn’t find it) and made my fair share of mistakes, and while I regret a few things that I’ve done in the past I know that they have all made me the person that I am today, so it can’t have been *that* bad.

I’ve been with my partner for about a year now. It’s a long-distance relationship (and I am talking about LONG distance here – 16.409km – about 10.000 miles), which does get pretty stressful at times and I miss his physical presence in my life more than I can describe. But it’s worth it, because it’s him.

For the past year, I’ve been struggling with depression – I’ve come to embrace it as a positive thing (well, at least some days I see it as a positive thing) – I know when I’m through this, I will be stronger than ever before and I will know myself even better than I already do. After getting through the toughest weeks on anti-depressants, I have now started therapy.....I know there are some tough bits ahead of me, but I hope the good days will soon outweigh the bad days again.

Anyway. If you want to know more about what’s happening in Alaska’s Life, just go and have a look right here, at my Open Diary. If you ever want to drop me a line, just eMail me at Alaska@opendiary.com or leave a note over here.

Lots of Love
Alaska


------------------
Just a regular lunatic.
Go inside Alaska's head...

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 12-09-2000).]

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 12-09-2000 04:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
and here are a few of alaska’s favourite things.....


music........gomez, powderfinger, something for kate, u2, directions in groove, tab two, endorphin, kruder & dormeister, air, alex lloyd, dave matthews, moby, radiohead, ben harper,red hot chilli peppers, augie march and Tex Perkins.....to name a few. Music is really important for me...I am always looking for the perfect soundtrack for my life.


books.......„death in venice“ by thomas mann, “soloalbum” by benjamin von stuckrad barre, “faserland” by christian kracht, anything by goethe, poems by rilke and jorge luis borges and everything by douglas coupland. i read a lot...and thankfully, my mom owns a bookshop so i rarely have to pay for my books. I know I’m lucky.


places.....i have been pretty lucky to have seen quite a bit of the world already and my favourite places in the whole wide world are....


  • punakaiki on new zealand’s south island for it’s wondrous stones, the beautiful rain forest and the fabulous people i met at the punakaiki beach hostel;
  • mt.macedon, vic, australia for the gorgeous smell of the snow gums;
  • the gap in sydney, australia, because that places gives you an unbelievable feeling of freedom....i felt like i’m the queen of the world or at least someone who has power over her life - and if i ever feel the urge of ending my life by jumping off something, i will do it there;
  • the city where I live right now, because it is small and beautiful and close to france;
  • rome, italy, preferably in may –because of all the beautiful people, the parks of the villa borgehse and the general mood of the city; and
  • melbourne, australia – for the place where I worked in that beautiful old house on Collins St. with the squeaky, mood-changing elevator and for all my colleagues there, for Essendon Football Club, for the trams, for the guys playing their guitars during lunch break in Bourke St., for Papa Gino’s on Lygon Street, for that café on Swanston St where you get the best mudcake in the whole wide world, for the feeling you get standing next to the fire thingys at the Casino, for the “Palais” in St.Kilda, for the wonderful Melbourne rain, for the man that I love and a zillion of other reasons.


websites.....


  • of course scarleteen ...and Heather’s other websites..... ;
  • Exploding dog, because the piccies are poetic;
  • OpenDiary, because it’s been the home for my diary for almost a year;
  • Wing of Madness, because it’s one of the best websites on depression that I’ve come across;
  • Sodaplay, because it’s simply a great nerd toy site.

------------------
Just a regular lunatic.
Go inside Alaska's head...

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 02-06-2001).]

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 12-14-2000 03:23 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Alaska.

Hope u dun mind but I followed ur link to ur diary and I read a few of ur entries. Just wanted to tell you that you write beautifully. And i mean it.

You seem to be having a tough time with your guy (or at least i think it is your guy). What you posted brought a lump to my throat coz the things you wrote were the exact things that went through my head when I was with my bf. We just broke up by the way.

His name is Fabian and its interesting coz u have a friend named Fabian but ur fren is a girl, correct? And you have another fren called Div, who is a guy? My good fren is called Div too but she is a she.

------------------
When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her.
It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed.

Mother Teresa

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 12-14-2000 04:36 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Lin,

Thanks for taking the time to drop me a line - and for reading my diary.
Yep, it’s not all that easy with my guy at the mo, but I am still hopeful that things will work out...it’s just a little much right now (depression, no money = no plane tickets, general direction of our relationship and all), and the fact that we live so far apart doesn’t make it any easier. I guess if we could just sit down for once and talk things through in a face to face situation, it would all be better. Anyway. I will hang in there because this relationship *is* worth it... Oh, well.

Sorry to hear that you broke up with your boyfriend – I hope things are looking brighter for you now...sometimes a relationship between two people simply doesn’t work out and it is indeed better to part ways, as hard as it is....I really wish you all the best.

*My* Fabian is, btw, my older brother and actually male as well.... – did I call him “she” somewhere? *lol*. My friend Div, however, is indeed a guy – before I met him, I wouldn’t have known whether “Div” is particularly male/female or whatever...a girl called Div sounds perfectly fine as well!

Anyway, again thanks for stopping by –
Take care

Alaska

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 12-14-2000 07:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey Alaska.

12 hours in the Singapore Airport? Goodness me. if only I knew you then, we could do alot in 12 hours. Trust me.

Yea, I'm feeling better about the break up. Though I miss him, I guess I know I'm betetr off without him.

U and your guy should really get those webcam things. Then you could see each other everyday if you wanted to. From personal experience, I know they are really good. Sometimes, it seems as if the person never left. But, gd luck with the relationship and hang in there!

Yea, actually I think you did mention Fabian was a girl in one of your posts. Hmm. Dun think your brother would be too happy about that.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-02-2001 02:42 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah.

I am jumping up and down, people. And I thought I'd let you know.
God, I am so happy it's not even funny anymore. And so excited. Why? My partner will arrive from Australia on Thursday! 48 hours to go...I haven't seen him since September 11 (when I hoped s11 might get big enough to reach Tullamarine and stop all outgoing flights..but it didn't).

And in case you can get the german TV channel SAT1 via satellite, tune in at 7:15pm CET on Sunday to see Alaska and partner being happy for all the world to see.

Ohh.....The things one does for love. And for free plane tickets from Australia.

------------------
Just a regular lunatic.
Go inside Alaska's head...

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 01-02-2001 03:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote

Really happy for you Alaska dearie. I know how much u miss him. Or maybe i don't. But hope you guys have a great time together.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-02-2001 09:07 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah.

I just bought a T-Shirt.

I know, not a terribly important event.

It is black.

Longsleeved.

And has - in nice, bold, glittery letters, the words "SEX BOMB" right across the chest.

The perfect outfit for my second big TV appearance.

Yeah.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-02-2001 11:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Well, well. Today is the day. Heading up north in a couple of hours and just wanted to inform you of my absence for the next few days....guess I will be away almost a week or so. And once I am back, who knows how soon I will get my hands on my puter again, considering the fact that my partner will be here and we have a lot of catching up to do. *snickers*
Anyway.

You all enjoy your week....

Alles Liebe,
Alaska

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 01-03-2001 02:04 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Ack. This is too exciting for words. *snicker* I wasn't expecting to see you around much in the next few days anyway. Haha.

Don't know when you will see this but yea I know what you mean. It's weird coming on when almost everyone is in their beds sleeping away. What's the time difference between SIngapore and Germany? Australia is 2 hours faster than Singapore. Figuered you would be better informed on the time difference between Oz and Germany than SIngapore and Germany. Haha.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-10-2001 03:26 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Germany - Singapore - 8 hours or so, dear. Not that much, if you ask me.

Things have worked out, btw. He is here. The TV show was funky, really funky. And they surprised me at a totally diffrent time and place then expected.

We got four days at a hotel, travel and everything else paid for.....
Catching up has been fun so far, and I am kind of speechless, because I am soooooo happy.

Just thought I'd let you know why I'll be quiet for a while....

Lots of Love
from a smiling
Alaska

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-10-2001 03:27 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
aaaaaaahhhhhhh and this was my first post as an advocate *jumps up and down*

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 01-10-2001).]

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 01-10-2001 03:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
ALASKA!!!

OMG! You are back. Albeit briefly. I really missed you and I was just thinking to myself, when is this girl coming back.

SOO happy to hear everything went great. Good for you. Well, you have fun and come back soon!

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-12-2001 11:19 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Am online for longer than 10 minutes for the first time in days....but I don't really mind. Apart from the fact that I can't seem to post anything over here as all q's seem to be answered right now. Bummer.

My partner is on his way to Switzerland right now...he wanted to buy his German Rail Pass here in F only to find out it's only available in about 15 cities troughout the country, and in Basel, Switzerland. And as we are heading to Berlin tomorrow, going to Basel to buy the ticket was the only option. Oh well. It's kind of nice to be alone for the first time in days as well. And I will be a goosd housewifey little weibchen and prepare dinner for him later on.

The last days have been good, as I already said.....Weird to suddenly have a relationship again. But damn good as well. I just wish things were normal. But they aren't. Too bad. Too bad.

Anyway. SO this is just another note to let you know that Alaska is still alive, and indeed very happy and that she will indeed start taking up her new advocate responsibilities one day.

Lots of Love,

Alaska


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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-16-2001 02:48 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Life in waiting.

Today was spent cleaning my place, answering long waiting eMail. Catching up with Scarleteen. Starting to use my brand-new calendar for 2001. Relaxing. However, I still haven't come around updating my OpenDiary.

This is my first day alone in about 2 weeks.

The weekend in Berlin rocked.....Staying at a real "Plattenbau" was funky (because thankfully, the local NeoNazis weren't lurking in the park because it was waaayyy too cold), as was the Berlin Film Museum at Potsdamer Platz (Mental note: Gotta see "Paris Texas" and ""Himmel über Berlin" and "Night on Earth"). Enjoyed great Indian food at Naam, my fave apple cake at Cafe Hardenberg and the company of the two people I love most.

Ev was all cuddly and touchy and relationshipy the entire weekend and I really really enjoyed it. He's in Munich tonight, coming back tomorrow, and I can't wait to see him. Weird that I miss him that much after just a day apart.

Am happy. Still. If this lasts, I will indeed go insane sooner or later.

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 01-30-2001 09:13 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Alaska dearie are you back yet? Anyway I got icq just for you and you disappeared. So I've requested for your authorisation...hope to see you online soon.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 01-30-2001 12:43 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Life in bliss is over.

His plane left about 7 hours ago and I am sad and sick and tired and miss him. It's unbelievable how hard this whole thing is right when you have to split your ways again after a month of total bliss and happiness and togetherness.

I hate this whole long distance thing. I really do.

Right now I need food (not that I feel like eating), sleep and something to get my thoughts off him. I keep thinking "right now, he should be somewhere over India". Or "About 5 hours until Stop Over in Singapore". Guess life will only start when I know that he has arrived home safely.

I know though, that I can survive this whole distance thing. The pain. It'll all be better in two or three days.
I can finally start my Life again, get back on track Uni wise. Catch up with eMail (haven't answered any since late December). Post here. Finally take up Advocate responsibilities.

Hope you're all feeling better than me today.

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 01-31-2001 07:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Alaska honey. I know it must suck having him go back. But you have us. We will cheer you up and make you happy.

I have no idea if my piercing is healing. I think it is although it is a little red and sore. Can't bend down at all.

Hope to talk to you soon too.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-01-2001 01:51 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Last night, I thought he was still there and I kept talking to him in my sleep.

Only to wake up to being alone.

But I am doing okay. No worries, no worries. The sky over this lovely city is blue. The sun is shining. And I am going to make the best out of this day.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-02-2001 02:45 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Sitting at home on a Friday night surfing impassionately without anyone on icq, no posts to make over here and no ideas for interesting posts in my head. I bought "No Angel" by Dido tonight, and it is divine music and very suitable for this weird, cold evening. It smeels like snow outside. Blah. Alaska's feeling random. Maybe I should simply head to bed soon. Sleep is always a tempting option these days. - And having time for sleep is a luxury, isn't it?

Anyway. Am feeling generally good despite missing the guy, which is, in itself shocking enough...must have been the introduction of the m-word into our relationship. Or not? Whatever.

Gotta go.
And waste some time.
Somewhere.

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 02-04-2001 04:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh 'Laska honey. You really make my day. You know, if you really want to help, I could send him to Germany and let him stay with you.

How about that? I think that's a great idea. Haha.

And I must tell you that if and when you go over to Oz to visit your bf and transit in Singapore, CALL ME! I'll come to the airport and look for you. *hugs*

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Lin
Activist

Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 02-05-2001 03:52 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Aww Alska honey..August sounds great. I can't wait. And I'm sure Smurfie will be with us in spirit.

Anyway...yes. We actually have such an government organisation. It's called SDU. Not STU. Singaporeans have nicknamed it Single, Desperate and Ugly. BUt that's anyother story.

Anyway, on the surface SDU just seems to be a matchmaking organisation operated by the government so that men and women can expand their social circle and know more people. It used to seen as a place men and women went to then they were desperate (thus the nickname) but gradually the government has changed it's image so much so that not professional men and women see no shame in joining SDU.

Of course bottomline is that the government wants men and women to get married as soon as they can. Coz recent studies have shown that women are getting married later and later thus decreasing their chances of a smooth childbirth.

This is definitely an issue worrying the government. That women are choosing to stay single to pursue their careers or are choosing to marry too late to have a child.

We Singaporeans don't think too much about it. Yes birth rates are declining and the government has expressed concern and I think this is just their way of dealing with it and finding a solution to the problem.

Where did you see that report anyway?

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KittenGoddess
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Posts: 4399
From: USA
Registered: Oct 2000

posted 02-05-2001 01:40 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KittenGoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
You and Lin are just such sweeties. You girls always make me smile. Anyway...well I was gonna say something else, but I forget what it is! Urg, I hate it when that happens, I've been studying too hard lately I think!

~KittenGoddess

------------------
"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip."
~Jonathan Carroll

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-05-2001 03:39 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Am happy despite having been to the dentist earlier today. 60 minutes on the phone to him did the trick. I just wish we could be together now. Duh.

My mouth still hurts because my "sadistic dentist" literally sandblasted my teeth today (more than 12 hours ago). Grrrr. And I need some teeny weeny filling as well...I had holes in my teeth that he only discovered on an X-Ray (always a little weird to be asked whether I am pregnant)... Duh again. At least I get 4 weeks to look forward to the fillings. Triple Duh.

But today was still good. I want this year to pass really quickly. I want my degree NOW.

I want to pack my bags and head to Australia. I really do. Right now, please.

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KittenGoddess
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From: USA
Registered: Oct 2000

posted 02-05-2001 09:37 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KittenGoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Oh, I finally thought of what your name reminds me of! Caro Nome from Rigoletto (the opera) by Verdi! That's what it reminds me of...that is the most beautiful song.

*whew* I feel better!

~KittenGoddess

------------------
"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip."
~Jonathan Carroll

[This message has been edited by KittenGoddess (edited 02-05-2001).]

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-07-2001 06:02 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I guess there actually is a mental connection between my guy and me. I swear.

After he called me and told me where they put him for his upcoming rotation in the TopEnd, we both simultaneously eMailed each other eCards with almost identical pictures from that place. I got his eCard and couldn't believe it, really. Made me smile and very happy and just showed again that we think in a very similar way...The small things in life.

Alaska is happy today.

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KittenGoddess
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posted 02-07-2001 07:53 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for KittenGoddess     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I'm glad you were happy today dear, it's wonderful when you're in sync with your guy! I was happy too, for the obvious reason, of course. I've spent the entire day grinning like an idiot at everyone and everything, lol! When I woke up this morning, I honestly wasn't sure that I hadn't dreamed the whole thing...so I checked to see if I really had posted about it...and you and the lovely Lin had replied to it, so obviously I didn't dream the whole thing! So thanks to you girls for the happy sentiments! So if you'll excuse me, I'm off to smile at more people I don't know now.

~KittenGoddess

------------------
"You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love; the running across fields into your lover's arms can only come later when you're sure they won't laugh if you trip."
~Jonathan Carroll

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-14-2001 03:35 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Havent' posted in her for a week....there was not much to tell anyway.

'Laska is still doing fine, happy with her guy, happy with everything.
Got some friends from Australia using my flat as their base this week for exploring France, Switzerland and the black forest, and it's good to have em here...Went out last night on what was supposed to be a little drinking and partying spree but which ended prematurely because a) I soon realized why I hate clubs and why I haven't been in the one we went to last night in ages (bad people/bad music/expensive) b) I had major cramps that made me want to make up a few numbers for the lovely "what do periods feel like?" thread and c) I just hated being around all those people last night. I would have wanted a quiet night with Ev, some good music and a massage. Grrrrrrrrr. Lots of nervous tension, plus I think I need some Advil.

Anyway. Today is V-Day. Lovely. I hate this day, with a passion. Or do I? I don't know, I just wish it wasn't as commercial as it is...well, anyway. It makes me all sad and sobby today.

And my article is up. Weeeh. Not bad, not bad. Looking at it at, late last night, made me happy, indeed.

Apart from that....nothing much....should resume my offline life soon, the sun is shining quite nicely over this lovely city and I think I should be getting my V-day phone call, soon. This should lift my mood.

Hm, am already sorry for any aggressive posts I'll make later today.....it's just my grrr-ness today.


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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-14-2001 08:32 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Grrrrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

I hate this day. I hate this day. I hate this day.

And I want a free flight to Australia ASAP. And I want something to rid me off these cramps. And I want someone to give me a back massage. And I want the Body Shop to get rid off those horrible "feel love" posters for V-Day. And....I just want to have him here. Right now. Grrrrrrrr. It's not good being sobby on this stupid day.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

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Lin
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Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 02-14-2001 08:13 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey sweetie.

Sounds like you need chocolate. *big hugs*

I just got my period too. On V-Day. Beautiful huh?

Anyway I'm freezing my *** off in class and I saw your post and thought you deserved a huge huge hug. *Huge huge hug* Haha.

We'll talk soon k?

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-15-2001 03:03 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thank you sweetie....the sun is shining a little brighter today.
And yup, we will talk soon.

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Gumdrop Girl
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From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10
Registered: Jul 2000

posted 02-17-2001 12:37 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gumdrop Girl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hi Alaska, my email was being stupid, but this isn't anything particularly dire.

about that Gomez tape I have. It's a 40 minute performance they did at the record shop. I taped it on my lecture recorder, so it's not perfect, but it's decent and audible. I'd be glad to send you a copy. email me for details

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Kill your TV! And while you're at it, your mobile phone, too.

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Alaska
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Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-18-2001 03:57 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Thanks Gumdrop, will do so!

In general, everything is better again in Alaska-Land. Sun is shining, got my flat to myself again, and it's even clean again. My guy is at the real end of the world now and I still don't know how we'll communicate in the next few days. That doesn't bother me as much as I expected it to bother me, I am simply happy he's getting this fab chance to learn and will be happy with whatever amount of communication we'll have. Well, I hope I can be happy with that..I'll try to do my best.

Apart from that - nothing new. All's well, really, and that's good. Am happy that I didn't let last week get me down.

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Alaska
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Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-18-2001 09:43 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Having a cup of hot Caofina surfin chocolate (freshly imported by Stephen for me last week) I have to think about the trip to Basel with my guy 3 weeks ago.....I love the Fondation Beyeler...and their Mark Rothko exhibition (titled “A consummated experience between picture and onlooker”) started today, and I can’t wait to finally see it. ‘t was such a lovely trip and I wish we could do that sort of thing all the time – go to a museum, have a lovely cup of chocolate, spend the evening with friends playing “Siedler” and simply having a normal relationship.
Anyway, Ev’s probably sleeping at the moment....and at 32° or whatever, up there in Darwin, he’s prolly simply not in the mood for some hot chocolate now.

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 02-18-2001).]

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-19-2001 04:41 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Not a terribly exciting day - a big chunck of it was spend trying to finally fix my computer and lovely new modem. Needed some patches for the support of the USB or whatnot. Went to the borders of my puter knowledge today, really. Hm, will see, will see whether it's finally okay now.

No news from the Northern Territory yet. But that doesn't bother or worry me. And I am proud of myself for not worrying about that. I am sure he's doing fine and had an exciting time up there so far.

Anyway. Am doing ok, but I should really get my act together tomorrow...need to be a little more effective work wise, really. The usual. *lol*

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Lin
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Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 02-20-2001 02:38 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey hon. Project day was disgusting. Urgh.

I have so much work to do I'm freaking out. Grrr.

Anyway, there's Buffy later and I have a tub of KFC. Yum.

That should make me feel better.

And I'm glad your comp is finally getting its act together. Yippie.

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-20-2001 03:25 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
News of the day:

*He has arrived safely on the little tropical Island up north, already has a lot to tell but no time to do so (he met John Howard - of all people - today, but apparently did not kick him in the butt. What a missed opportunity!)

*My wedding day might be Saturday, August 17th 2002 (that's what the people at Emode think).

*If I were a dog, I'd apparently be a Chihuaha (yup, Emode again) - "Saucy and intense, your energy and unfailing loyalty make you a great companion. Woof!"

*He's the One. And yup that's coutesy of Emode, too!

* And yes, I was bored out of my mind today. And not very productive at all.

Tomorrow shall be better. I should make it better.

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"I am capable of, but sometimes not interested in making myself happy."

[This message has been edited by Alaska (edited 02-20-2001).]

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Alaska
Sexpert

Posts: 4499
From: mad(e) in Germany
Registered: Nov 2000

posted 02-21-2001 03:28 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Alaska     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Just another day of being totally anti-social.

I think I should indeed use this time to clear my head regarding how I'll organize the next few months. I need to do that, actuallly. It will be a way to work against all that self-hate and self-doubt that seems to be lurking just around the corner again. And I guess it's the only way to finish all this unfinished business that I need to finish before I can head to Australia....I should stop wasting these days. I really should.

Am really looking forward to my appointment with Dr.K tomorrow. Not that I know whether I can express whatever is bothering me. Because I *am* happy. In a way. I am in love. I feel loved. But I feel alienated from everyone. It's all so theoretical...I need something *real*. Maybe I just have an InternetOverdose™.

Time for bed. Gute Nacht to you all.

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"I am capable of, but sometimes not interested in making myself happy."

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Mary
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Posts: 500
From: Ohio, U.S.A.
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 02-21-2001 04:04 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Mary     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Hey, Alaska. I hope you're having a good day That's cool that you want to do some "spring cleaning" ,so to speak, before you go to Australia. After reading your entries, I find myself getting anxious over you getting to Australia! You seem to love your guy so much, and I want you to be with him! I can't wait until you two'll be together. Well, I hope your appointment went well today. Take care!

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Lin
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Posts: 2294
From: Singapore
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 02-22-2001 10:50 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Lin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Babes...our wedding dates are surprisingly close. LOL.

Mine is Saturday, September 14, 2002. Haha.

I think we shld seriously start planning for our weddings.

Oh and I'm a Collie.

Yes, I'm really bored too.

[This message has been edited by Lin (edited 02-22-2001).]

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