My mom knows we're going to have sex, which is mainly the reason she's letting us do it, but I want to respect her and make her less worried, I'm on the pill, but I must have some of those kimono ribbed and ultra thin condoms, but I don't know where to buy them, and even if I did, I'd feel a little shy, so for the people who order these types of condoms on-line, where at, does it require a credit card or check number, and the box that they come in, does it have the logo on it? or does it look like a regular box!?

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You can buy condoms (including Durex, one of our favorite brands, and occasionally the Kimonos) at pharmacies, large chain stores such as Walmart or Target, or sex shops (if there is one in your area). There's really nothing to be embarrassed about when buying condoms in real life; checkers have seen it all, and they really aren't going to care about what you're purchasing -- and if they do try to make you uncomfortable, then they're not doing their jobs correctly.

If you do want to purchase condoms online, however, you can do so through the Scarleteen Shop, which allows you to purchase products at places such as drugstore.com or safesense.com with some of the money going to Scarleteen. Safer sex supplies and helping out the site! What a great combination.

You will need to provide a credit or debit card number to purchase the condoms, but they will generally bill your card discreetly and ship in boxes marked with a neutral return address. And if you get a drugstore.com box, you can always say you got some nail polish or something.

The address for the scarleteen shop is http://www.scarleteen.com/shop/index.html -- and if you click on safe sex supplies, you'll find our friends Kimono and Durex prominently listed.

I do hope, though, sweetie, that you and your fiance have read through our Sex Readiness checklist and talked about all of the aspects of engaging in sexual activity together. Even if it isn't your first time (for either of you), the emotional and physical impacts of sex are still there, especially when you are being sexually active with a partner for the first time together.

You are definitely getting prepared in terms of safer sex supplies, which is really fantastic, but I'm worried about your heart and your head, too, as well as that of your partner. Safer sex also means being able to keep yourself emotionally, spirtually, and psychologically safe, too, and I'd be remiss if I didn't call your attention to that.

Thank you so much for your concern! You really made me feel great, and so far, you're one of the only advocates who haven't gotten angry with me. I appreciate your generosity and concern, and your dedication to being a respected Advocate here at Scarleteen.

We have not yet to review the Sex Readiness Checklist, but now that you have mentioned it, I will. I wish I could help Scarleteen out by purchacsing the safe sex supplies at the Scarleteen shop, but unfortunately I don't have a credit or debit card yet. For my eighteenth birthday, I am getting a debit card from Superior Federal Bank though, and I will definitely purchace with Scarleteen.

I definitely know the emotional strings attached with having sex, it is a very big part in a relationship for most, and most would include me and him. I know when I had sex with my last boyfriend, I was a control freak and I didn't even want him looking at another girl or even mentioning another girl's name, I was so jealous. I'm already jealous enough as it is with my fiance and he handles it fine, but I just hope he can handle it if I do get even more jealous. I guess the reason for my jealousy is because for me, my sexuality is sacred, and when it is given to someone, I expect them to treasure it as much as I do, and to respect me enough not to think about other females. Know what I mean?

So anyways, thanks again, Erin. Keep Smiling!

Sincerely,
Amanda

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Thanks for the compliments! I'm glad you and your fiance will check out the readiness checklist. Every time I read it over, I always find something new to consider about how ready I am for sex, or what I would do if a certain situation happened, and I've been having sex for years!

Being under 18 and/or not having a debit or credit card is a drag in terms of being able to purchase stuff online. However, you should be able to find the Durex High Sensation and Ultimate FEeling condoms at a pharmacy or a place like Target or Walmart, along with lubes such as astroglide or KY. I got my last condom purchases (the Durex ones listed above) at Walmart, and they were even on sale!

I've also seen the Inspirals (another brand people claim to like) at one of the pharmacies near me as well. I think places are starting to stock better condom selections, so it's been pretty easy for me to find ones that are good quality and that I and my partners like.

Good luck!

Erin