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A thought

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Author	Topic: A thought
PanicGirl Neophyte Posts: 4 From: Bloomington, IN, USA Registered: Mar 2002	posted 03-11-2002 09:19 PM Something recently occured to me...when my orientation comes up (as it does, occasionally, under a variety of circumstances), I always say "bi." It seems weird to me to use the entire expression (that it, bisexual), because it's not a sexual issue, but an emotional one. Does this seem reasonable enough to anybody else? IP: Logged
ookuotoe Advocate Posts: 2548 From: Na-tah-ka, MI, US Registered: Sep 2001	posted 03-11-2002 09:58 PM Yes. And welcome to the boards! [All that is expressed below is my opinion. I do not try to represent any of this as fact. You are entitled to agree or disagree with me as you see fit. If that is understood please proceed. ] To go into more detail I can emotionally relate to humans of any gender. Once I'm created a strong emotional relationship I have the option to have a sexual relationship but that's not really important to me - I can have a sexual relationship with anyone. Emotional relationships are different though. They require much more time and effort then sex does, and (in my opinion) are much more exciting. Simply making that emotional connection with a new person is probably my favorite feeling in the whole world. Because that feeling is equally exciting with everyone I meet I identify as bi. Cool topic. ------------------ There is a time and a place for everything. ICQ# 146582840 IP: Logged
PoetgirlNY Activist Posts: 1101 From: San Francisco Registered: Jun 2000	posted 03-12-2002 10:21 AM I know what you mean. When you say "bisexual," it sounds like you're talking about sex. I'm usually not. That's party of why I identify as queer. Part of it is about sex, part of it is about how I relate to people on an emotional level, and part of it is also about my politics and community. It's more encompassing of my entire life than bisexuality. ------------------ "I'll be a Venus on a chocolate clamshell rising on a sea of marshmallow foam." -Hedwig IP: Logged
tasha Activist Posts: 68 From: Brooklyn, NY (Ev,IL right now tho) Registered: Jan 2002	posted 03-13-2002 05:59 PM I'm not sure if this is exactly on-topic, but i thought it was... I agree with what's been said--I think it's silly that the words we have to describe sexuality all sound so, well, sex-obsessed. There's heteroSEXual, homoSEXual, and biSEXual...which to me implies that sexuality has a lot to do with the physical act of "sex." I dunno, but that's not really what sexuality is about to me...it's about how you feel, how you relate to others, about all types of physical and emotional relations you may have with people, and, yeah, it can deal with sex as a physical act, too. I took a class once where someone raised the point of how years ago (and i guess still to many people) the word homoSEXual was full of such bad connotations partially bc of how the word itself sounds -- i mean, u stress the SEX syllable! So that just helped encourage many people's ideas that being gay was all about "sex" -- you know, oh, all gay people do is sleep around... ignoring the emotional, etc. aspects of homosexual relationships or of sexuality in general. so the word itself kind of help portrayed the negative image many people had of gays. (i hope that made sense!) I'm not saying that "straight" and "gay" or "queer" or most of the other words we have to describe sexuality or orientation are necessarily much better-- still sounds to me like anything other than straight is like deviant or something, and straight itself just makes me imagine some stiff board or something ... So i don't have any solutions to this whole word-dilemma, but great point, PanicGirl. ------------------ If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space! share your opinion: http://www.geocities.com/tkaterisha/ IP: Logged
PanicGirl Neophyte Posts: 4 From: Bloomington, IN, USA Registered: Mar 2002	posted 03-19-2002 08:32 PM I'm glad that people are responding to my topic. It makes me happy to know that I'm not the only person thinking about the whole labeling thing...it's about emotion NOT sex!!!!!!!! (this is a difficult concept for for some people :-) ) Thanks for replying! IP: Logged
misscat Activist Posts: 81 From: Quebec Registered: Mar 2002	posted 03-19-2002 08:36 PM also it seems like... um, hard to explain. its like it sounds like the person is more ok with the fact of bisexuality or whatever when saying it a shorter way. bisexual sounds more like what a teacher would use when he's not confortable with it, but has to teach it cause its the program. IP: Logged
nakedfairy Neophyte Posts: 6 From: UK Registered: Mar 2002	posted 03-20-2002 01:51 PM It's all so true. Today I was talking to a girl about our realtive sexualities, and she said that she could now properly call herself bi because she slept with a girl. I was shocked that she viewed he sexuality as merely sex, when it's so not. It's about the wavelength upon which you communicate with different people. I've only realised that recently myself, and it truly is a revelation. It makes so much sense! ------------------ 'A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous' - Ingrid Bergman IP: Logged
Quinn Neophyte Posts: 5 From: Registered: Feb 2003	posted 02-21-2003 04:21 PM My guess is that the stress on the sex part of a relationship came from "back in the day", when heterosexuals did not understand that a person could have a healthy emotional romantic relationship that had nothing to do with sex. They believed, as I think someone already said, that all homosexuals and bisexuals wanted was sex. Think about it: outside of a health classroom, a person will probably rarely refer to themselves as heterosexual, just "straight". Also, some religions are all about procreation, so sex is pretty much the big picture for them. IP: Logged
Milke Activist Posts: 5122 From: I came from the land of ice and snow Registered: Aug 2000	posted 02-21-2003 06:12 PM quote: . . .heterosexuals did not understand that a person could have a healthy emotional romantic relationship that had nothing to do with sex. Excuse me? ------------------ Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost IP: Logged
Miz Scarlet Sexpert Posts: 19846 From: Minneapolis Registered: May 2000	posted 02-21-2003 06:14 PM I believe what Quinn was trying to express was the bisexuals and homosexuals, like heterosexuals, can be inclined to pursue romantic realtionships in which sex alone is not the primary or only impetus for doing such. ------------------ Heather Corinna Editor and Founder, Scarleteen My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground." -- Kay Bailey Hutchinson IP: Logged
Milke Activist Posts: 5122 From: I came from the land of ice and snow Registered: Aug 2000	posted 02-21-2003 06:41 PM I'm sorry, I should have made myself more clear. While I'm sure no offense was intended, that's not a statement I'm okay with, for the very simple reason that, through the way it was phrased, it's not a tolerant one. In the exact same way not all men are the same, or all women, or all homosexuals, or whoever, not all heterosexual people are either, and it's extremely important to realise that while accepting one group is good, what really matters is to be tolerant of everyone. It's good to be gay, or straight, or bisexual, pansexual; whatever makes you happy, simply because it's good to be able to love whoever you love, and be able to do so in peace, but there's not a sexual orientation that's better than others. ------------------ Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP Anyone perfect must be lying, anything easy has its cost Anyone plain can be lovely, anyone loved can be lost IP: Logged
Quinn Neophyte Posts: 5 From: Registered: Feb 2003	posted 02-21-2003 10:11 PM I apologize for making such generalizations, and I honestly didn't mean to sound intolerant. What I meant was that because of the fact that society in general was not exposed very much to relationships other than heterosexual ones, it was difficult for many to understand the motives behind a homosexual relationship. IP: Logged
nappyafrochik Neophyte Posts: 20 From: Registered: Feb 2003	posted 02-23-2003 03:53 AM i've always thought about that, because my friends when i got to college were like well, what- why? and i was like well, it's a lot more than being attracted to appearance. i'm attracted to the personality first, which makes me attracted to the person, which in the end of course i wanna get in their pants. but it all starts with whether i'm feelin you on an emotional level, like, i have a vibe from a girl that i don't even know really that i'd like to be around her just because she seems like a positive person. besides, she plays b ball and well, that's just hot. ------------------ --->O_o<--- IP: Logged
Miz Scarlet Sexpert Posts: 19846 From: Minneapolis Registered: May 2000	posted 02-23-2003 07:20 AM Just an FYI: when talking about sexual orientation in an academic/sexological vein, orientation is most assuredly NOT simply about sex, but about a combination of sexual and emotional attraction, sexual and emotional relationships. So, while perhaps colloquially orientation does seem to stop at sex itself, that's very much not the case in terms of the sociology and sexual science of the thing. ------------------ Heather Corinna Editor and Founder, Scarleteen My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground." -- Kay Bailey Hutchinson IP: Logged

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