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 Orientation and Identity
 Would you change? (Page 1)
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Slayer_gurl Advocate Posts: 812 |
posted 12-10-2001 04:59 PM
  
Ok, lets go to a hypothetical situation and say you had the chance to relive exactly the same life. except that you could change your sexual orientation to straight. Would you do it? Would you change? I've been thinking about it and strangely enough I've decided no, it's kinda who I am now. But I'm 16 and haven't experienced the problems in adulthood(obviously). So, what would you do? IP: Logged |
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PoetgirlNY Activist Posts: 1101 |
posted 12-10-2001 05:10 PM
No way. I love being bi. It doubles the dating options, and automatically weeds out homophobes. Also, I've made lots of friends by being queer. Go straight? Not for a million dollars ------------------ IP: Logged |
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TenohSetsuna Activist Posts: 102 |
posted 12-10-2001 05:40 PM
Not if you paid me. I had a friend who asked me once if I'd change if it took 30 seconds. I told her that the 30 seconds would be a waste of my time, and I still believe that. I am who I am, I have no regrets, and if the rest of the world doesn't like it, then too bad for them, they'll just have to cope. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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ookuotoe Advocate Posts: 2548 |
posted 12-10-2001 06:23 PM
Absolutely not. I love who I am and I'm very comfortable with being bi. I've never really suffered because of it but it has made me grow as a person. It's been well worth it. However, if I had the chance to be straight or a lesbian for a minute or two I'd go for it. (Provided I was guaranteed that I could return to my natural state.) Sometimes I wonder what it's like to not be attracted to people because of something like gender. IP: Logged |
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Gaffer Activist Posts: 356 |
posted 12-10-2001 06:42 PM
I probably wouldn't either. I don't feel as vehement as some, I don't know. There would be a lot of different and perhaps good things, but, and I can't really say why, I don't think I would--it's as though I wouldn't be me even though I guess I would. I feel one of the few parts of myself that I don't have serious issues with would be lost. I think I'd almost be too boring if I were straight, no, nevermind, I don't think I could ever be boring. IP: Logged |
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Slayer_gurl Advocate Posts: 812 |
posted 12-11-2001 01:20 PM
Yeah ooko, I agree about the whole one minute thing though. But I do think I'd be very boring without my orientation IP: Logged |
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kythryne Advocate Posts: 1685 |
posted 12-11-2001 03:30 PM
Absolutely no. Gender just isn't relevant for me when it comes to relationships, and I can't imagine wanting it to be a deciding factor in whether or not I can fall in love with someone. There are a great many things I would do differently if I could live my life over again, but changing my sexual orientation most decidedly isn't one of them. Kyth ------------------ "The only unnatural sexual act is that which you cannot perform." - Alfred Kinsey IP: Logged |
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Maharet Activist Posts: 66 |
posted 12-11-2001 09:53 PM
I wouldn't change either (I'm lesbian). I did go thru a period of wanting to change when I was about 13, but that's basically b/c I was being indirectly and then directly harrased at school, once I changed schools, I was happy being me again!  I've been asked this question a couple of times by straight ppl, and some seem confused when I say, if I could re-live this life, I'd still "tick the box marked lesbian" (as I've heard it described). Any ideas as to why this is? lol! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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estoy Neophyte Posts: 1 |
posted 12-11-2001 10:32 PM
<irony> I think the people who are surprised when you answer "no" think they're not doing their jobs properly if you don't feel harrassed enough to want to change. </irony> (Incidentally, I'm bisexual, and wouldn't change... Would probably change my gender, though.) IP: Logged |
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sapphirecat Activist Posts: 235 |
posted 12-12-2001 01:13 AM
I feel obligated to mention that love isn't just sex. Despite being straight, I have loved a few guys intellectually. They're the people that transcend all the little burdens that normal people place on me. (For one, they don't bicker over who gets what seat on the couch; they just move to the floor.) Also, being attractive isn't necessarily being sexy; there's a few guys I wouldn't mind petrifying and putting in an alcove to worship and drool on, but I just don't have any interest in sex with them. For the curious, being uninterested in someone is really very boring. It's just an absence of that particular emotion, like being unattracted to your computer. I wouldn't change my sex, gender, or orientation. I'm just getting comfortable with it. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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DrQuack5 Activist Posts: 290 |
posted 12-12-2001 04:44 PM
I wouldn't change a day, either. For those of you who don't know, I'm gay (well, lesbian if you will. I'm not too fond of the word, personally). I'm 16 and am pretty darn out. Most of my friends know, and it's kinda funny, one of them didn't and my best guy friend pokes fun at her for not knowing. How silly. Anyway, if there was anything that I would change, I think it'd be the relations with my best friend that made me question myself in the first place. IP: Logged |
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gillians_gal Activist Posts: 354 |
posted 12-12-2001 05:51 PM
Not for anything. As Poetgirl said, being bi doubles your dating options! Also, I like to feel "different" from the norm. Hugs & Scully, IP: Logged |
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Gumdrop Girl Sexpert Posts: 11271 |
posted 12-12-2001 09:13 PM
I'd change! I'm straight. I only wish I could be bisexual. While I do adore boys, I think women are fascinating and beautiful. I stop and stare at them all the time. But really, if you put me in a room with one and told me I could do whatever I wanted, I'd probably just ask her to share a cup of coffee and go shopping for shoes with me. estoy - i know your part of the world. i don't know you irl, do i? or at least from another board like DeadAir? ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Buttercup Neophyte Posts: 25 |
posted 12-14-2001 07:28 AM
I would never change. I'm getting really comfortable with my bi-ness, and have grown very fond of that side of me. Sure, life could be easier if I was straight, but who wants life to be easy? That's just plain boring! Like Poetgirl said, it doubles the dating options (well, not exactly doubles, some girls are *gasp* actually hetero...), and it also makes BayWatch REALLY fun to watch  It's something that always made me wonder, many people say that love has no boundaries, that it's blind to age and race differences, so why should it open it's eyes when it comes to gender? And especially when there isn't a gender difference? ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Dude_who_writes Advocate Posts: 673 |
posted 12-23-2001 08:48 PM
Personally, I would never change my orentation either. However, I would change the comfort level that I have with my orentation -- maybe that's not the way that I want to word it. What I mean is that I would rather be more confident with who I am (confidence isn't somthing that comes naturally to me anyway), confident enought to present myself to the world and say "Here's who I am, and, like it or not, you're just going to have to deal with it." That would be the only way that I would ever change myself. I'm too happy being bi (or, the way that I like to explain it, selfish) to ever want to be so limited as to not see the beauty in all sexes. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Ashy Advocate Posts: 1784 |
posted 12-26-2001 11:04 AM
When I'm upset with some quibble over relationships, I sometimes want to be straight, be like the norm. But I really don't--I am who I am. Who would I be if my sexual orientation was changed? I don't know. I would be someone else, and I don't want to be someone else. Desire and attraction are fantastic, the world would be so dead without them...do I really want to reject these blessings? ------------------ "Calm. Yes. Calm. Calm. Calm! Calm!! CALM!!" IP: Logged |
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Sh!mmeR!ng*staR Activist Posts: 97 |
posted 01-08-2002 02:32 PM
Naaah, probably not. life would be less complicated, but I'd also be crushing on half less than what I do as a bisexual. That'd be sucky. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Confused boy Activist Posts: 711 |
posted 01-11-2002 11:32 AM
Well I am going buck the trend here and say "yes I would rather be only attracted to girls." The reason is that I am attracted to a boy who I came out to and he said he was completely staight (and now I think he is avoiding me somewhat). I still think about him too much. If I was completely straight, I would still have an untinged friendship with him. At the same time I wouldnt mind getting rid of about half of my sexual kinks, that are rather annoying at times. Or maybe... would I just be boring if I got rid of all that? ------------------ IP: Logged |
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BJadeT Activist Posts: 394 |
posted 01-11-2002 12:36 PM
I don't think you'd be boring, but I think that to give up something that's part of you because you've had one negative experience, or because it makes life a little bit difficult would be a little rash. Especially as a teenager, when you have your whole gay/straight/kinky/whatever else you can think of life ahead of you. Something (of many things) that Scarleteen has taught me is that sexuality is part of you-and a good part of you at that. So, no, I wouldn't change anything to do with my sexuality. I like girls and boys, just like I like coffee and tea. I wouldn't choose only to like tea, because I'm a tea and coffee kinda person. But I don't think there's any problem with only liking coffee, or with liking neither. Heck this is a confusing messy analogy which sounded good in my head. I basically mean that I wouldn't change my identity because it's who I am, but other peoples' identities are fine too. It's probably best to ignore the above brain messed up chronic fatiguey muddled paragraph. ------------------ Witness the infinite justice of the new century. Civilians starving to death whilst waiting to be killed. Manky Confuddledness-My new, improved Blog. IP: Logged |
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Beka Neophyte Posts: 5 |
posted 01-15-2002 06:37 PM
NO NO and did i say HELL NO!!!!! i love my sexuality and to change would be like asking me if i wanted to keep both of my arms. It isn't going to happen. I have to look back at the wonderful Greeks who believed that a bisexual or homosexual was favored by the gods for being blessed with two spirits that of a man and of a woman. I completely believe that. I might change to be a homosexual but it wouldn't be me and i might miss out my soul mate if it is a guy even though i do prefer females. oh what i tell my friends is that of there is a hell i will come back as a hetersexual male  but all in all HELL NO!!!!! ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Hillary Neophyte Posts: 21 |
posted 04-03-2002 07:12 PM
Another person to break the trend. I'm fourteen- and a very confused person. I think I am bisexual or les, but I have so much going on in my life already. I feel an urge to DECIDE what I am, and it's hard to since i am too busy and go to an all girls school! I think I have a crush on my friend (girl also). It would make my life so much easier not to be attracted to girls, and it would also be nice not to have so many rumors about my gay-ness going around school. How they know, i have no clue. I must be obvious. Ive only told a couple of people... IP: Logged |
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Viva_La_Vie_Boheme Neophyte Posts: 8 |
posted 04-04-2002 08:28 PM
Never. I mean, it's who I am. I don't think I'd ever be able to change, I mean, my signature says it all! And I beleive that me doing this is revealing the truth about people that I have known for such a long time. (Okay, I've only come out to my best freind that I've known for one year, but hey, she's really supportive about it.) And as Alexandra said in 'Josie and the Pussycats' "I'm perfect just the way I am"  ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Kajego Neophyte Posts: 14 |
posted 08-09-2002 11:28 AM
NO. The first time I though about not being bi, I was horrified. I'd never want to put a limit on who I can love. Besides, my sexuality is a part of me I've become very attached to. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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saith166 Neophyte Posts: 8 |
posted 08-09-2002 01:51 PM
i dont think i would change. maybe this is a bad thing, but my sexuality is really wound up with my identity, so... plus, it's not that bad! kinda fun, if ya ask me. (im les/bi, by the way.) IP: Logged |
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SerenD Neophyte Posts: 9 |
posted 08-09-2002 02:42 PM
As much as people insist that sexuality is not a choice, I think that I kind of decided that I'd be gay. Or maybe I just decided to accept that I'm gay. I don't know... Either way, I like being gay. Girls are just so pretty, you know? IP: Logged |
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cumquat Neophyte Posts: 14 |
posted 10-12-2002 10:54 PM
I wouldn't change the fact that I'm bi, though it's intersting to think about. The major reaction I get when people find out (as in I tell them!) is that it must be cacause I'm incradibly horny/permiscouis, and it really aggravates me that people think that (especially on days when I believe them) But I think that's more about them needing a change than me. I feel comfortable with bisexuality because, like someone else said, who you love is not restricted by what sort of genitalia they have. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Blindfolded Neophyte Posts: 5 |
posted 04-15-2003 06:30 AM
Nope. I've decided (after much heart-ache and deiberation) that I am throughly bi, and wouldn't change it for the world. There are qualities that I can only ever find atractive in one sex or the other, and I don't want to give up either. So no.. no way. IP: Logged |
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fly_little_wing Activist Posts: 41 |
posted 04-17-2003 12:14 PM
This is definately a very hard question. By being straight, we could avoid all the criticism and harassment we receive. We could avoid to confusion we constantly feel. We could feel more "the same" to our straight friends. But by being straight, we wouldn't have met all the people we've encountered by being gay/bi. We wouldn't have learned all these new things about ourselves, and gone on such an interesting and exhilarating road of self-discovery. So if I had a chance to change, I wouldn't, because being gay is a part of who I am. Obviously, if I lived the same life except for the fact that I was gay, then I'd think men were just as wonderful as I think women are. But I just can't imagine myself in that life. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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sachie Activist Posts: 81 |
posted 04-18-2003 10:17 AM
i'm not sure if i've answered this question already, but i'll answer it again. no, i wouldn't change. i love my girlfriend. ;P plus i've met so many awesome people through my queer youth group and i wouldn't want to give that up. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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i'macutie52 Neophyte Posts: 12 |
posted 04-19-2003 06:11 PM
i don't think i would change cuz most people think i am one way (always Straight) but i am really another and since people figure i am one way they deserve to be confused when i tell them what i am. most people really don't care that i am bi anyway! By the the time they find out we are usually good friends anyway. IP: Logged |
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tasty Neophyte Posts: 9 |
posted 05-02-2003 09:03 PM
I WOULDN'T CHANGE FOR THE WORLD!!! i'm kinda new to the lesbian thang (i'm only 13), but i love girls and women. i'll sit and stare at them all day. what the hell man, i just gonna admit it: [This message has been edited by tasty (edited 05-02-2003).] IP: Logged |
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Aglaia Neophyte Posts: 8 |
posted 05-16-2003 01:21 PM
Gosh- a parallel straight life - how tragic! Give up the choice of girls and guys? why thats like giving up a left arm as opposed to having both...*shudder* ------------------ IP: Logged |
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GroovyBrit Neophyte Posts: 2 |
posted 07-25-2003 02:45 AM
I am new to these posts and this is my first one. Yay! Anyway. I identify as lesbian, even though I'm technically bisexual, because I can't say that I won't fall in love with a man. Also, given the chance, I would never change my orientation. That would be like asking to come back a different race or gender or something. I am who I am, and if anything changed at all, I wouldn't be me. Although, if I could change something, I would change society's view on differences, make society accept and rejoice in it's differences. I do not wish to be straight, I wish that I could be accepted as lesbian. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Jockette Neophyte Posts: 4 |
posted 07-26-2003 06:46 PM
No Way! I would never change. Although it's hard sometimes and I do get ashamed sometimes but then i relize this is me and i don't care what other people think. I'm 16 and a Lesbian and i'm proud of who i am and i would never change. IP: Logged |
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MarvellousPurple Activist Posts: 475 |
posted 07-28-2003 01:02 PM
quote: oh, it's not that bad I'm gonna go with the trend and say I don't think I'd change. Catch is, I'm straight. I'm not sure whether I'd become bi or not--the jury's kinda out on that. I was bi-curious for a while, until I did some experimentation in high school and just realized that girls simply aren't my cup of tea. I adore boys, though, and I wouldn't be the me that I am now if I were another sexual orientation. And I like me, which is why I wouldn't change. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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lemming Advocate Posts: 3154 |
posted 07-28-2003 02:20 PM
I know it's not a fantastically body/self/sex-positive attitude to have, and I know it's not a great example of role modelling, but I'm a person, not a model. Yes, I would change. I can't lie and say that I wouldn't want to, because I do want to; the relationship that I enjoyed for three-and-a-half years could have continued, if I didn't have these feelings (everything about our friendship was--is--great, except the sex part and the touching part and the having-feelings-for-other-women part). So, yes, I would change. In a heartbeat. But I've tried that, and I realize it's not a possibility, so I'm going to have to stop with the old unhappiness and figure out how to adjust to the new one. ;] [edited to say: After thinking about this question for the past three days, that was all I could come up with. But it's the truth, even if it's not what I want to be saying. And as much as I feel bad about not accepting myself and my feelings, I feel good for being honest, even if I have to jump into a thread full of people feeling good. Thanks, guys [This message has been edited by lemming (edited 07-28-2003).] IP: Logged |
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Miz Scarlet Sexpert Posts: 19846 |
posted 07-28-2003 02:25 PM
I honestly don't see that there's anything wrong with that, Laurel. I think most of us, at one time or another, would gladly have ditched or adapated parts of our life or person that created huge obstacles or traumas for us. I'd call that human. IP: Logged |
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linny Neophyte Posts: 6 |
posted 07-28-2003 06:54 PM
i would never ever change even if i was payed or threatened. i like who i am and what i am. IP: Logged |
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born a lion Neophyte Posts: 1 |
posted 07-29-2003 03:42 PM
I'd never change, it's a piece of me, plus I love women, it just...is IP: Logged |
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Gumdrop Girl Sexpert Posts: 11271 |
posted 07-29-2003 03:44 PM
quote: ------------------ IP: Logged |
i'm so flattered, tasty This topic is 2 pages long: 1 2 All times are CT | next newest topic | next oldest topic |
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