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Author Topic:   How to tell (them)...
Gaffer
Activist

Posts: 356
From: Phoenix--name that plurally
Registered: Dec 2000

posted 09-18-2001 09:30 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Gaffer     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
How do I come out at school?

Anyone have any tips or advice to make this a little less scary?

Edited because of my severe lack of eloquence.

[This message has been edited by Gaffer (edited 09-19-2001).]

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violet
Neophyte

Posts: 29
From: London, England
Registered: Jul 2001

posted 09-26-2001 06:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for violet     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, first of all, how old are you, because that makes a big difference. and has anybody come out in your school that you know of? its really a question of sussing out the territory, and whether its actually gonna be dangerous or just uncomfortable. i came out properly when i was 16, but that was probably easier because i started at college ( british school system, 16-18) and so nobody already new me. it wasn't some big announcement type thing, it just came up in conversation with a few different people, and then everybody seemed to know. the only tip i can really give is don't make a huge deal out of it. ok, so to you it might be really important ( and thats cool) but if you act like its nothing shocking or unusual, than that really tends to spread to other people. whatever you decide, good luck. x

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jazzpenguin
Activist

Posts: 59
From: London, UK
Registered: Sep 2001

posted 09-29-2001 03:16 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for jazzpenguin     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I just want to tell you that I'm in the same position. I have been for a while. The only advice I can give you, is make sure that if you tell somebody in confidence, make sure you can trust them. Two of the three people who I told at school (I have friends outside school who know) that I'm gay have told other people, which means some of the more homophobic people know(damn!) Just tell people when YOU feel like it - don't feel that at any time you have an obligation to do so. (Unless of cource some Ewan McGregor look-a-like comes along wearing a T-Shirt saying "I'm Gay," at which point I'd happily come out right there.....)

------------------
jz

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ookuotoe
Advocate

Posts: 2548
From: Na-tah-ka, MI, US
Registered: Sep 2001

posted 09-29-2001 03:44 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ookuotoe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Coming out at school never seems to be easy. When I first realized I was bi I wanted to tell everyone. Unfortunately I live in an area that is not very accepting of this so I decided against it. Over time I have told my close friends and they have all accepted it without hesitation.

However, no matter how few people you tell, or how careful you are, word does tend to get out to more people than you had in mind. Just be aware of this and be prepared to answer a few questions. Also, you are not obligated to tell anyone anything. You don't have to listen to insults and bigotry if that will be an issue. Just walk away and don't turn back. My philosophy is if something like this completely discredits me for someone, then they ALMOST always aren't worth a second chance.

Currently, I don't really tell people about my sexuality. I'm willing to talk about it if it comes up and I never lie to people about it but I don't really encourage questions from people I'm not close to. It's what works for me.

Good luck. I hope whatever you decide works out.

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