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 Orientation and Identity
 Biphobia
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| Author | Topic: Biphobia |
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PoetgirlNY Activist Posts: 1101 |
posted 02-28-2001 09:53 AM
  
Ever feel stuck between two groups? It can be hard to assert yourself as neither straight nor gay. How do you embrace your sexual orientation when it is often not validated by mainstream society and it is sometimes rejected by the gay community too? ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Rizzo Activist Posts: 582 |
posted 02-28-2001 10:22 AM
Hmmm, since getting into a relationship with a boy, I must say I feel pretty isolated from the lesbian community. I never really felt like I was a part of it (because I'm shy), but I used to think I had the potential to be accepted by them. Now I feel like my chances are blown. I'm actually a little bitter about it, but I know that infighting isn't going to help anything... You're right. It's hard to assert yourself as bi. Often you're seen as wishy washy, so it's hard to make a clear statement. If you're in a relationship, people will assume that you are what you appear to be at that moment. It's pretty annoying. But I think the best way to assert yourself is to TELL people. If you want someone to know you're bi, tell them. As for validation, well, if mainstream society/the gay commmunity doesn't like it, screw them! (Ahahaha, yes I suppose I lead a lonely life IP: Logged |
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unhappykoger Activist Posts: 365 |
posted 02-28-2001 12:17 PM
i just recently admitted to myself that i am bisexual. but what can i do im married. oh well.  ------------------ http://www.angelfire.com/oh2/koger IP: Logged |
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Miz Scarlet Sexpert Posts: 19846 |
posted 02-28-2001 01:36 PM
Well, congrats Koger! Do recognize that many of us who are bisexual aare in monogamous realtionships or marriages. I've been bisexual for as long as I've been sexual, and I've found that whether or not I'm happy or satisfied has but squat to do with "getting a little of everything." Some folks are happier with multiple partners, others aren't and that usually has more to do with your relationship style, your personality and your lifestyle than with your orientation. ------------------ "If you're a bird, be an early early bird -- IP: Logged |
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Pixie69 Activist Posts: 1339 |
posted 02-28-2001 04:41 PM
Yeah, I feel your pain. It's funny, some non-hetero's are talking about accetance and discrimination, but then they are prejudice against bisexuals. A few lesbians have been bitter about bi's because they felt that we were "accepted" more by the straight society, because we could always go find a partner of the opposite sex. Some guys I know won't date bi's because they say "it's worse for your girlfriend to leave you for a girl than for a guy" (I really wish I was kidding, I'm not!) Other people think that you're just "confused" (especially if you're a teenager!) Now I just ignore it. If they're not going to accept me fine, if they are then wonderful but why should I care what they think? It still bothers me that people are so judging of other people. Such silliness, what was ever accomplished from judging people unfairly? NOTHING! Edited because: apparently I can't type This person is a natural product. The slight variations in color and texture enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. [This message has been edited by Pixie69 (edited 03-03-2001).] IP: Logged |
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gillians_gal Activist Posts: 354 |
posted 03-01-2001 04:20 AM
I can relate to that! although my media and english teachers both know about my sexuality, and my media teacher is very supportive and a regular at mardi gras (he's straight) some kids in my school are homophobic. I tend to tell almost everyone I meet I am bi, not right away but if they prove themselves. One knew girl found out and she is homophobic - I don't especially like her but I would prefer she knew. We are doing documentarys in media and my freind annan and I (he's gay), Lisa (the homophobe), and micheal are making one on how homosexuality i percieved in schools. It is going to be a bunch of interveiws and we are tight for time. We only have 4 mins but 10 mins would be ideal. we got a nem digital video editor too so it should be in the bag. Talk about getting sidetracked :P Winnie :0) ------------------ Member of OBSSE & GAWS "True friends are like diamonds, precious and rare, false friends are like autumn leaves, blowing everywhere" IP: Logged |
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Gaffer Activist Posts: 356 |
posted 03-01-2001 10:35 PM
Cool idea for a project. I was going to write my final civ paper on gay rights through history but then I realize that such a topic might not go over well at my school. I am gonna write it about Arthurian legends, but there was a topic here wasn't there? Oh yes, biphobia, I can't exactly sympathize but I agree that many people don't truly understand what bisexuality is. So many misconceptions, so little time to correct them in. IP: Logged |
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Laughs_Wisely Activist Posts: 140 |
posted 03-02-2001 01:40 AM
My girlfriend is bisexual, as is one of my best male friends...I'm starting to wonder if my group of friends is odd, because if they have a problem with anyone, it's me. Not the overly flamboyant gay man who is a good friend, not the bisexual woman and man who are central figures in our "friend-web", but me, the little lesbian in the corner. As such, I've encountered plenty of lesbophobia (did I just create a word?), but NO gayguyphobia or biphobia. Odd...but in a good way (I can handle fighting my own battles...) IP: Logged |
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mia Neophyte Posts: 12 |
posted 03-02-2001 02:42 PM
I do find that it's hard to find a place to fit when you're bi... most everything seems to be geared for the two extremes. Oh well. I'm a happy medium. IP: Logged |
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Miz Scarlet Sexpert Posts: 19846 |
posted 03-02-2001 02:45 PM
That's unfortunately true all too often, Mia. I actually find that over time, that gets a bit better, from people around you seeing what it measn to be bisexual (read: not a non-stop sex-party), and understanding that it's an orientation like any other. And Laughs, have you visited http://www.technodyke.com? It's a wonderful site, run by a wonderful friend, and I write there foten. Really neat and ingenious place for lesbian or bisexual women. ------------------ "If you're a bird, be an early early bird -- [This message has been edited by Miz Scarlet (edited 03-17-2001).] IP: Logged |
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Pixie69 Activist Posts: 1339 |
posted 03-03-2001 02:04 PM
I second Mz S's link. And her bi column too It's a great place.------------------ This person is a natural product. The slight variations in color and texture enhance its individual character and beauty and in no way are to be considered flaws or defects. IP: Logged |
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BoyPoetNU Neophyte Posts: 9 |
posted 03-17-2001 08:56 AM
Well, I think that it is important to remember there is a relatively large bi community out there. We are not always isolated from the gay community, nor rejected form the mainstream. We have the capability to I guess blend in where we choose, so if we need to be accepted, we can. I personally would not choose to do that because it is not being honest with who I am, but it is a possibility for someone who needs to be a part of the community. I find that when you are in a relationship, you generally face acceptance by the group appropriate for that relationship (i.e. If I were with a girl, the straight community would accept me) whereas you face the possibility of rejection by the "other side." I don't like to steroetype like that, and I try not to do it, because I know it is not true of all the members of those groups, but I think that is the best I can explain it for this situation. IP: Logged |
) But seriously, even within "intolerant" communtities, there are always gonna be a few individuals who are tolerant. So life doesn't have to be miserable. They're the ones you have to team up with if you want to make a change. All times are CT | next newest topic | next oldest topic |
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