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Author Topic:   "That's Gay"?
Quinn
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Posts: 5
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Registered: Feb 2003

posted 02-15-2003 10:50 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Quinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
A group of people that I've known for about a year now are always saying, "That's so gay" or "This is gay" whenever they get frustrated with ANYTHING. No one says anything to them about it, and it only started bothering me recently, because I haven't had classes around most of them for a while. What do I say/do? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

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DrQuack5
Activist

Posts: 290
From: Minneapolis
Registered: Feb 2001

posted 02-16-2003 12:28 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for DrQuack5     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I typically say, "Yeah, (that object/whatever) really is attracted to a/an (object) of the same gender." Sometimes I follow that statement with a muttered, "...genius...".

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ookuotoe
Advocate

Posts: 2548
From: Na-tah-ka, MI, US
Registered: Sep 2001

posted 02-16-2003 05:15 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ookuotoe     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
http://www.scarleteen.com/forum/Forum15/HTML/000064.html

Previous thread on the subject.

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cheshire_kitty
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Posts: 6
From: Bacchus Marsh, Victoria, Australia
Registered: Aug 2002

posted 02-20-2003 06:34 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for cheshire_kitty     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
My school is notorious for using that phrase. It seems like it's a requirement to get in there!

I have a habit, that whenever one of my friends says something is gay, I reply with 'Yes, I'm sure it's homosexual' or 'Yes, tis rather happy'. Works most of the time ^_^

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Sunset_Rose
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Posts: 119
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Registered: Oct 2002

posted 02-22-2003 05:18 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Sunset_Rose     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
OMG. I get sooo annoyed about this. People I know say 'thats so gay' to mean 'thats so stupid'
Everytime someone says it I try to remind them that gay has never meant stupid, but I think most of my friends have kinda got the message now and don't say it around me. It just annoys me because people seem to either use it as an insult to gay people, or they just don't think and say it when everyone else does, to mean something stupid.

I like the idea of saying 'Yeah, that really is happy' etc. though. I may try it next time!

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Quinn
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Registered: Feb 2003

posted 02-23-2003 04:01 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Quinn     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I don't even understand exactly how that saying would come about. Even if someone hates gay people, I doubt they would make it a point to include that into their speech as much as possible.

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BlackRoseFaery
Activist

Posts: 88
From: Hixson, TN, US
Registered: Mar 2002

posted 02-25-2003 10:58 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for BlackRoseFaery     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I always say "Yes, of course (insert name of object) have sexual orientations!"

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Slayergurlie149
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Posts: 4
From: Glendale, CA, USA
Registered: Mar 2003

posted 03-15-2003 09:06 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Slayergurlie149     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
Yeah I have lots of people at my school say that and it offends me now because I am bisexual and know one of my friends is completely gay. That does not make them bad. I wish people would cut this out but because of the society we live in that degrades homosexual activites I doubt that this will change soon.

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Keep up what you think is right even if you are looked at. Heck you live a little feel much.

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mrsweed
Neophyte

Posts: 25
From: Crown point, IN, USA
Registered: Oct 2002

posted 03-24-2003 11:09 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for mrsweed     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
I say it all the time. My gay friends do too, so i figure, hey if they can so can I.

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Jay226
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Posts: 2
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Registered: Apr 2003

posted 04-08-2003 03:41 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jay226     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mrsweed:
I say it all the time. My gay friends do too, so i figure, hey if they can so can I.


I guess what your gay friends ment was a particular thing that looks stereotipically homosexual, as in saying "That shirt is so gay" to a guy in pink shirt.

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Jay226
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Registered: Apr 2003

posted 04-08-2003 03:44 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for Jay226     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by mrsweed:
I say it all the time. My gay friends do too, so i figure, hey if they can so can I.


I guess what your gay friends ment was a particular thing that looks stereotipically homosexual, as in saying "That shirt is so gay" to a guy in pink shirt.

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pisces
Activist

Posts: 57
From:
Registered: Feb 2003

posted 04-08-2003 11:49 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for pisces     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Jay226:

I guess what your gay friends ment was a particular thing that looks stereotipically homosexual, as in saying "That shirt is so gay" to a guy in pink shirt.

I can't really tell if you are serious or not (darn emotionless internet... ^_^; ) but not neccessarily. There is no rule that says only hetero people use the word gay in a slang or derogatory way.

[This message has been edited by pisces (edited 04-08-2003).]

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nappyafrochik
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Posts: 20
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Registered: Feb 2003

posted 04-19-2003 03:29 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for nappyafrochik     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
well, i'm bi and i always say "jeez that is SO gay" and last year me and my friends made up the word "homorific" and i still use that one occassionally. it's just a slang term like everything else. Remember, gay didn't start off as homosexual either, it just came to mean that. words evolve. no need to get upset.

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--->O_o<---

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ElfGirl
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Posts: 12
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Registered: Apr 2003

posted 04-22-2003 02:33 AM     Click Here to See the Profile for ElfGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
In my school's Gay/Straight Alliance we have been trying to reduce the use of the word "gay" as derrogatory term. The best thing to do (if you're comfortable enough to speak out) is to simply say something along the lines of...

"It really bothers me when you say that... because I think its degrading towards gay people."
"When you use the word gay in that manner it really offends me... because I have friends who are gay and I care about and support them"
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't say that around me... because I am gay and that offends me."

...Or basically any variaton/rearragement on the above themes. Its just important that you politely introduce the problem and then state why it bothers you. Any friend who cares about your feelings will stop saying something that offends you if you ask nicely.
Sometimes it takes courage to speak out but once you do it a few times it gets a lot easier.

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Milke
Activist

Posts: 5122
From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow
Registered: Aug 2000

posted 04-22-2003 01:42 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for Milke     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
"When you use the word gay in that manner it really offends me... because I have friends who are gay and I care about and support them"
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't say that around me... because I am gay and that offends me."

While those statements may be effective, I'd like to note that it's not necessary to have a personal affiliation with someone to consider it worth defending.

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Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP

I still love you, oh, I still love you
...Only slightly, only slightly less than I used to

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ElfGirl
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Posts: 12
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Registered: Apr 2003

posted 04-22-2003 09:52 PM     Click Here to See the Profile for ElfGirl     Edit/Delete Message   Reply w/Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Milke:
While those statements may be effective, I'd like to note that it's not necessary to have a personal affiliation with someone to consider it worth defending.


Its obviously not necessary, the point is simply to help the person understand a reason why you might not like it. Some people find it easier to relate to your discomfort when you tell them a more personal reason that it bothers you besides "i just don't like it." which is certainly fine, but sometimes harder for certain people to understand and pay attention to. anyhow, they're just suggestions... variations on a theme (tell them it bothers you, then tell them why, the reason doesn't matter)

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