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 I need advice on coming out to my parents (Page 3)
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| Author | Topic: I need advice on coming out to my parents |
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torrix Neophyte Posts: 1 |
posted 08-22-2005 09:20 PM
  
i dont think i'm ever gonna come out to my parents...first being they would never understand. Second they are just way too close minded, plus bonus Catholics...(>.< ) I'm just gonna be an obdient daughter until i finish uni and i'll run off... *sigh* ------------------ IP: Logged |
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WolfFlame Neophyte Posts: 2 |
posted 10-11-2005 10:40 PM
I am worried about even trying to come out of the closet, I am trapped, for my dad is a bi-hater my mother a strict conservative and my grndparents strict catholics, so if I were to come out of the closet I would be lectured, soaked in Holy Water, and killed, or burned at stake.... You see how difficult that must be, also, my friends are incredibly straight, There are no Bi's in my school, only gay or straight.. ------------------ IP: Logged |
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Ecofem Advocate Posts: 419 |
posted 10-12-2005 09:45 AM
Hi WolfFlame,
quote:While I think you should technically be able to be open and express yourself freely, I might wait in terms of coming out to your parents if you think their reaction would be that bad. How old are you? Are you currently in a relationship with anyone? A good interfaith (but Christian-based) organization that tries to prevent "spiritual violence" based on sexual orientation is SoulForce. http://www.soulforce.org/ It might not change how your grandparents feel, for example, but could be a good resource nonetheless. You shouldn't have to feel trapped or as if you're lying to your parents about your sexuality, but if home is otherwise manageable, I might wait, as I said before. Or, if they are helping pay for your college education, for example, and would stop if they found out, I'd wait until after graduation to come out to them.
quote:Yes, I do understand that it's hard. However, there are surely many, many bi people at your school: either they aren't too sure of their orientation yet or are also keepin' low. Does "incredibly straight" mean homophobic? Because if they just seem "incredibly straight" in terms of their own orientations, they are not necessarily 1- automatically opposed to having queer friends or 2- indeed all totally straight. Does your school have a LGBTQSU you could join? What about one in your community? I am sure there are plenty of people around you who know how you are feeling and want to be supportive, it's just figuring out the right place to look.
[Edited for clarity. I swear that my English gets worse everyday...] [This message has been edited by Ecofem (edited 10-12-2005).] IP: Logged |
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WolfFlame Neophyte Posts: 2 |
posted 10-12-2005 09:25 PM
Thanks for the helpful reply, I have been dropping hints for over a month, but they don't get it, and by incredibly straight I mean they wouldn't even consider having a gay friend, but since I am bi there is a very slim possibility, My best friends are mostly girls, who are mature and compassionate to a point of annoyingness. I only have four good guy friends that are straight, the rest I don't really consider good friends, the rest of my friends wouldn't even think about it. I would ruin my reputation as a genius, student aide, Assistant Choir Director, and Obsessive-Compulsive maniac... Actually, everyone really is straight, the neighboring schools have bi students, but my zone is the richest in my area (not meaning to be snobbish) and everyone is preppy and homophobic. I can't really find a way out of the closet, and if I try to venture out I will most definitely get hit with the door on my way out.. I hope I can become more open with my family and friends someday. ------------------
Let the wolf's flame guide you, in your words, thoughts, and actions. May it guide your destiny. Speak out, state your true feelings, don't be afraid to admit anything, for the wolf lives within you and it's flame shall influence your life until armageddon. [This message has been edited by WolfFlame (edited 10-12-2005).] IP: Logged |
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My_Bloody_Masquerade Neophyte Posts: 3 |
posted 10-17-2005 09:08 PM
I'm in the same situation...almost. My dad knows, my boyfriend knows, everyone at my school knows, hell, my english teacher knows, but I'm terrified to tell my mother and the rest of my family. My mom is really homophobic as is my grandfather, who lives with us...and my mother already swore to me that if I ever dated a girl or some one outside my race...she'll kick me out. And I'm pretty much breaking both her rules...except I'm not involved with a girl, but I have been in the past and my b.f. is part hispanic...so I'm already dead. I want to tell my mom because I don't feel comfortable lying to her anymore about who I am...I can tell that we've separated alot in the three years that I've come out to myself, and I feel like the rift that's come between us wont ever be healed unless she knows the truth. And I have to be the one to tell her, because if she hears it from someone else it will just make things worse. I just don't know what to say when to say it or how to say it...but I have to do it soon. IP: Logged |
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fatigues Neophyte Posts: 1 |
posted 10-21-2005 03:14 AM
When I came out, it wasn't really planned. But I was kind of mad. I was watching TV and my dad was exclaming how like, gay people are gross and such. It made me mad, both my parents were there, and I just blurted out something like, "I'm bi, am I gross?" But, we didnt really talk about it because I ran up to my room. Not to make you worry, I was just going through a hard time of my life. But, I'd definitely would have been less embarrassed about it, now. Your parents aren't mine, but I think they should love you for you. And, if you open up to them and tell them, they should be happy you can talk to them and trust them about it. IP: Logged |
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