T O P I C R E V I E W
Jessyork1996
Member # 100535
posted 11-20-2012 11:27 PM
Last night, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of two years. I had always thought that sex wasn't supposed to happen until after marriage, which is why I waited so long to begin with. I was sure that I was going to feel different after I did, or that I'd hate myself...but that's not how I feel. I feel almost relieved...I don't feel guilty about doing it or feel like a bad person, which is the complete opposite of what I've grown up believing. I'm just really confused...I'm a Christian and should feel guilty about having sex, but I don't. What's wrong with me?...
Kachina
Member # 42505
posted 11-20-2012 11:38 PM
Just because you are a Christian doesn't mean you should feel guilty about having sex! Most people (of all religions) have sex before marriage. People also can grow up and come to their own understandings of what is right or wrong, or what their religion proclaims on these subjects - so you might just be finding that you don't agree with what was taught to you. There are plenty of Christians who don't think sex is bad, Christianity is not monolithic. Edited to add: Here is a nice article by a young Christian that I think you might like: http://www.scarleteen.com/article/words/its_between_god_and_me [ 11-20-2012, 11:44 PM: Message edited by: Kachina ]
Heather
Member # 3
posted 11-21-2012 11:53 AM
Can I ask why you think you should feel guilty? I ask because, like with Kachina, I don't see that just being a Christian explains the why of that, especially given that premarital sex really isn't something in the Bible listed as the giant no-no a lot of people who haven't read it tend to think it is. Is this something your particular church or denomination says is not okay?
Jessyork1996
Member # 100535
posted 11-21-2012 10:28 PM
Well I come from a very conservative church and household...and I myself am quite conservative. I've been raised all my life to believe that sex should only be between a married man and woman...so that's why I feel guilty.
Jessyork1996
Member # 100535
posted 11-21-2012 10:32 PM
Or rather, why I should feel guilty...because truthfully I don't...and that in itself just seems strange to me...
Kachina
Member # 42505
posted 11-22-2012 02:53 AM
Well, YOU are an individual, you are not your family or household or church. You have the feelings you have, and they should be your own. If you don't feel guilty, maybe it's because you know that it was right for you at the time. Because not all Christian groups (including conservative ones) don't agree on all these things is why there are so many denominations and churches... Just because you find that you aren't having the feelings your specific church implies you should doesn't mean anything is wrong with you, in fact that is a pretty common experience. [ 11-22-2012, 02:55 AM: Message edited by: Kachina ]
Jessyork1996
Member # 100535
posted 11-22-2012 12:45 PM
Well thank you for the advice...it really helped