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Post A Reply Login Name: Password: Message Icon:                                                                       Message: HTML is not enabled. UBB Code™ is enabled. [QUOTE]Originally posted by Miz Scarlet: [QB] There really isn't such a thing as a repressed memory -- one we never actually had -- that can be unearthed. That was a theory for a while, but one which has since been shown to have a lot of holes in it. Memory works a bit like writing something down on a page: either we write it down or we don't. We may have forgotten that we wrote it down, but if we lose the page we wrote it on, it's just lost. We can't usually find it again. Obviously, esp. with childhood memories, as we get older, we can just plain forget things: but in those cases, unless we know someone we can ask about what happened, we're usually left with what we're left with. A LOT of families, in fact, were ripped apart by RMT -- a trend therapy designed to try and "reclaim" memories of those who suspected sexual abuse, or whose therapists suggested it as a possibility, which essentially was instead, creating them -- because that's just not how memory works. Sometimes, however, when someone is seriously traumatized, our minds shut down and we don't remember what happened in the first place: we don't write it to our memories, as a sort of psychic protection/survival mechanism. When that's the case, there's really no finding it again, because it was never written down in the first place, if that makes sense. Usually, that sort of lack of remembering most often happens with trauma with very small children, but it CAN happen with those older sometimes. However, while the actual trauma in those cases won't be recalled, some supporting things around it often can be. For instance, let's say a woman is on a jog in a city park and is violently mugged and assaulted. Let's say that her mind shut down, did NOT "write down" or create a memory of, the actual assault itself. She still, however, will recall going to the park, putting on her shoes, what route she took. She'll still remember coming to, the bruises or injuries she got from that, soreness for days, knowing something terrible had happened to her right after, who found or helped her, etc. There are a lot of possibilities here with your issue. This guy in the cart may have scared you by having sexual energy around you as a child: he may have been trying to come on to you. he may simply even have just been an adult you didn't know, were nervous about, who scared you, in a situation that was already scary, per the dark, etc. Or, you may HAVE been sexually assaulted and were so traumatized you did never remember it in the first place. At that age, did you have any persistent genital infections? Any bleeding or soreness you can recall? Any body issues that happened right around that time? Were you uncomfortable ever going back to the golf course? Any persistent nightmares? Thiungs like that would be indicators that something happened you can't remamber. A total lack of things like that would be indicators that it's possible nothing happened in an abuse regard. Per the sex you're having now, what context is this in? A trusting relationship, where you feel cared for, and able to have sex at your own pace, a pace that feels right for you? [/QB][/QUOTE]

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