T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 25425
posted 01-01-2006 04:48 AM
... in therapy, that is.
I'm home for the holidays, and my mother confronted me and let me know that she thinks I should finally get some therapy.
I was raped a few months ago. Having a history of depression and self-injury, that drove me over the proverbial edge and I ended up losing control so badly that I scared myself and went to a counseling center a few times to get some help. My counselor there suggested therapy to me, but then the summer happened and I switched schools and fell in love and started to feel a whole lot better about myself and my life. Basically, I am thoroughly happy now and I had literally forgotten about my plans to start therapy.
Until my mother brought it up again, that is. I explained to her that I am feeling great and that I'd rather work out the rest on my own. But she insists that it could never hurt to have someone to talk to.
Should I or shouldn't I? Some opinions would be nice.
Member # 1386
posted 01-01-2006 06:44 AM
I side with your mother on this one. Rape is especially difficult to deal with. There are therapists traind in dealing with life after rape and they can make life a whole lot better for you. Most of the Scarleteen posters who report that they have been raped and tried to deal with it on their own have had problems, sometimes stretching years from the time of the incident. It would be time well spent.
I do not feel obliged to believe that the same God who has endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forgo their use.
Member # 13388
posted 01-01-2006 04:58 PM
I second Bobolink (and your mother
) on this. Really uncomfortable memories of the rape can suddenly hit you when you least expect it, and having had help to process things can reduce their occurance and/or make them more bearable. Especially since you've had a history of depression and self-injury, which is enough in itself to warrant help versus having to suffer through it all on your own. Plus it's nice when you have the resources to pay for therapy... Personally I go through long periods when I'm absolutely ok to suddenly be confronted with "aughhhh!"
So I'd recommend trying out therapy. If you should choose not to, please at least do some research and line up options that you can go to the minute you start feeling bad.
I'm really glad that you are so happy right now, that's no easy feat!
Member # 25425
posted 01-04-2006 03:36 PM
Thanks to those who offered their 2 cents. After also talking this over with a friend and sleeping on it a few nights, I guess I've come to the conclusion that I might as well give therapy a try. Lord knows I have enough to talk about, even if it doesn't affect me as much anymore as it used to. I can always still quit if it's not my cup o' tea.
Member # 26799
posted 01-04-2006 07:53 PM
A question for those who have been or are in therapy: what does one look for in a therapist? Obviously one would want he/she to be a good listener and all of that... but I mean, is it good to have someone who will give you advice? Someone who will support you in all of your decisions, as long as they're not going to harm anyone? Someone who is simply a good listener? Is it better to have a therapist who will try to guide your decisions or let you make your own choices? How do you know if his/her OWN moral code is influencing him/her in a way you don't agree with? Does this happen?
Thanks for any info!
Member # 26838
posted 01-05-2006 03:58 PM
From my personal experience, I think what people look for in a counselor can vary quite a bit. From their training, I doubt you'd find a counselor who dominated the conversation, but would you really want someone who'd just affirm everything you said?
One of the major things I've done with my therapist is question why I do some of the things I do. I'm bipolar, and at times my emotional, physical, and mental reactions go a bit haywire. She helps me try to see patterns so that I can prevent situations that are harmful or uncomfortable to me.
Personally, I think having a therapist who helps you question your decisions (not tell you what to do, but also not tell you that you are a golden child who can do no wrong) is the best idea.
Other things to ask yourself:
Does gender/age/background affect how comfortable you would be talking to your therapist? Would you feel comfortable telling your therapist if part of the sessions were making you uncomfortable?
A lot of my friends at college ask me which counselor I would recommend they see...but I'm not always right. Only you can assess the connection (or lack thereof) between yourself and a therapist. After all, the goal of the experience is to help you, and if you're not comfortable in the situation, find a therapist you feel comfortable with.
I hope this helps!
Member # 23917
posted 02-16-2006 10:34 PM
I think it can't hurt to try out therapy. Even if you are feeling pretty good right now, it's still nice to have someone to talk to. And, if you go to one person and find you don't like it, I'd suggest trying a few different therapists before you rule it out altogether. A couple years ago, I went to therapy for depression. The first therapist I went to, I absolutely HATED. I always feel bad about disliking well-intentioned people, but honestly, I just could NOT get along with this woman. I stopped going to her, and gave up the idea of therapy for the time being. But then, a while later, I was feeling extremely depressed again, and I decided to try it again. I found a new therapist, and lo and behold, we got along really well and she helped me a lot. After a while I stopped seeing her, but now I'm thinking of going back (this time to help me learn to better deal with stress and my possible OCPD). In any case, I think it's all a matter of finding a person that you're compatable with. Sometimes it can take a few tries, but that's okay.