T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 11236
posted 06-23-2003 07:47 PM
anyone else in here who are extremely shy? just wondering ways you tend to get less shy overtime?
i find i am sometimes a little less shy after vacations when i encounter people i don't know.
i've been shy my entire life, i'm 20 now and i would like more than anything to not be quite so shy. it's funny how some people ask you why you're shy. i mean, it's not really a choice, it's something that you are and something that takes a lot of time to change.
Member # 13209
posted 06-23-2003 08:07 PM
oh I know exactly what you mean!!
I am 20 also and when I was younger I would talk to anyone but after about age 6 or 7, I became extremely shy! I hate it also. I didnt have a whole lot of friends in high school. I mean everyone knew me but a lot of people thought that I was stuck up but I was really just shy. It was a big problem for me. I was shy in front of my parents even! But one thing that helped me a little was in 9th grade I had a best friend who was my opisite.. she was loud and proud. Her name is Brooke. She really helped me to lighten up..she talked me into trying out for cheerleading and getting more involved instead of just going home after school and sittin in my room alone. She talked me into singing solos in chior and such. After that I did lighten up a little more but was still pretty shy. Then me and Brooke stopped talking for some stupid reason( I really dont remember why) Anyway, I once again was alone and shy and stopped doing cheerleading and all that. But now that im older and have a boyfriend and am on my own I am so not shy anymore.. I dont know its weird... I kinda felt like my dad held me back alot cuz he was very strict and I was scared to even ask to do things. I also realized that life is short and if your not happy then whats the point. You gotta stick up for yourself and share your opinions with others. And you CANT worry about what other people think!! That was prolly my biggest problem! Just live life to the fullest and if someone doesnt approve or like what yu have to say then find someone who does care!! good luck!
Member # 12431
posted 06-24-2003 01:17 PM
yeah, i'm really shy gal too, the problem is that if you're too shy you can me across unfriendly- i get this a lot :s.
Member # 7638
posted 06-24-2003 03:58 PM
people think that i am unfriendly alot too. it takes me along time to get to know people. but for me its not just that im shy i have anxiety and i have a hard time with it. if people dont like me because of it then they just dont. i dont get all worked up over it.
********************** formerly unhappykoger **********************
Member # 13001
posted 07-06-2003 08:32 PM
I agree with eray... I'm 17 now, and have been shy since the time I was 4 or 5... I've went to school in the same small town for all of those years, so I know most of the people I come in contact with, but still, sometimes I'm so shy I can't hold a normal conversation ;) I've been with my boyfriend for a year now, and he's the complete opposite of me - he never meets a stranger, will talk to anyone about anything, etc... I've found that in those months I've spent with him, his personable energy has kind of rubbed off on me. So try to spend time with more outgoing people, and make a small but conscious effort to slowly start doing things you wouldn't normally do, like talking to people you don't know so well, even if it's just to tell them to have a nice day. After a while, you'll find it's not as hard as it's seemed ;)
"I don't care what others think of you, because I know that you are the most beautiful person in the world." -my Romeo
Member # 14041
posted 07-16-2003 01:41 PM
I agree with you too!!! I am shy as well. There are times when I can't even talk to people. And another thing, when I have a project at school to to and we have to present it, I get extremely SHY. I blush! But there are some ways I have been able to conquer this problem. I try to be more open, especially with my friends. I talk to them often that way when I talk to other people, I can be more open to talk to them about things. You should try to do the same thing. Another thing that I do is I write things in a special book, somewhat called a journnal. Try to do that, express your feelings in a book first then try to talk to people. See how well you do. Each day, say something to those people whom you are shy with, even if it is just a, "Hi, how are you?". Try to do that. I have progressed and am no longer THAT shy. I hope that you come out of your shell, too.
1). Talk to friends, confide in them (also with your parents).
2). Express your feelings in a book (a journal maybe).
3). Each day, try to say a few words to those people whom you are shy with.
Member # 13695
posted 07-16-2003 07:21 PM
Count me in too! I've been shy ever since I was a little girl. And it's taken me a long time to come out of my shell-I still don't think I'm totally out. If anything I find that it comes into play in so many different ways. I find even with my boyfriend now I have a hard time always expressing myself the way I want to. Or coming out and telling him how much I like him. I do it, but it takes a lot of effort and it's something I wish I was better at. I've just never been good with words and I definitely think that has something to do with my shyness.
Member # 7728
posted 07-17-2003 04:09 AM
Yay! Shy people unite!! It's funny I saw this thread because last night I was sitting on my bed just trying to figure out why I'm shy. I think it's because people say I'm strange. But then I thought, to hell with it, I'm going to be strange if thats what I am. I'm not going to waste any more time trying to dumb myself down so I fit in. I'm not going to suddenly come across all confident I realise - I have been shy and solitary all my life, but now at least now I'm not ashamed of it.
I was talking to a guy I really like yesterday, and he said 'you're strange' and I thought - oh no, here it comes, he's going to walk away and never talk to me again, I've scared him off....But he didn't. I think there's a light at the end of this tunnel. Either that or it's the headlights of an oncoming train. Arrrrrgggghhhhhhh!
Shy people, don't give up. Let your opinion be heard!
~Men of quality are not threatened by women's equality~
Member # 13894
posted 07-23-2003 10:33 PM
I too am shy. I like to refer to it as "reserved" though
Social anxieties have always vexed me, and it's awesome to know I'm not alone. Just reading this has made me feel better (been a bad night). Thanks, all. As to advice for the creator of this topic... I would try and figure out if your shyness perhaps runs deeper than you think. You seem to be looking for an immediate answer to your shyness instead of digging further and finding a cause to resolve. It's not as simple as *wham-bam-pow* fixed. Perhaps you suffer from clinical depression, which affects most people at one time or another. Your social phobias could be related to your self-esteem. There are a million-and-one various reasons for our quietness. I used to sum it all up into "shyness" till I was diagnosed with clinical depression and ADD, and learned more about the two seemingly unconnected diseases that have everything to do with how you react in public. My advice is do as much research on the subject as possible. Find out why we do some of the crazy things we do as humans, because sometimes the answer is so simple we can't see it. By understanding more about human nature and psychology you develope coping skills and your issues no longer seem such a mystery. It's helped me, I hope it works for you too!
Member # 14405
posted 08-20-2003 06:24 PM
You guys think it's hard being shy when you're 19 and 16 and 20 (etc)? Try being shy in Middle School. I hardly have like 10 friends....I mean, peaople know me a little, but it's not like "Hey man wasup? You coming to my party on Friday? Peace" Bad example, but shy people know what I mean...Hope this gets a reply...
Member # 13749
posted 09-07-2003 08:19 PM
I know exactly how you feel. i'm super shy, only in school though, I'm always the quiet one and one time my guidance counsler swore that I was depressed, and it made me feel bad because I knew that I was just shy, so ever since then, I have opened up a little. And my friend is very loud and obnoxious so whenever we are together I'm the same way and it feels good.
Breathe No More
Member # 14836
posted 09-21-2003 05:14 PM
I'm shy. Only at school though, I don't know why.
Member # 14891
posted 09-25-2003 11:35 PM
I think shy guys are incredibly sexy.
If you try to smile a lot (doesn't take much, just a few muscles) that will easily help people to realize that you're not a stuck up jerk, just shy.
Member # 11352
posted 09-26-2003 07:33 PM
I have never been one to shyness. I was probably the most outgoing girl in my group of friends in highschool. Everyone was in envy of me. They are still are even though we are now in our 2 year of university. Although they have come through their shyness more than they did back in the old days of HS. Most of them are now dating or just starting a relationship. I remember being a niner and i went up to a guy i liked and started chatting him up. You know how originally guys are supposed to be the ones to make the first moves. But it's the other way around with me
. Isaiah; whom now is my boyfriend of 2 yrs and 4 months was so shy from the first day we met. I later learned that he had a crush on me.. I was involved with someone else at the time when we met. When i was finally single, he was still scared to ask me out or even ask to do a simple thing with him like going to the store when we were at the bowling alley with friends. I hung out and talked to him more and eventually i asked him out to a date. After two weeks of going on "dates", he finally had the courage to propose me to be his girlfriend and also be his date for his prom. The rest is history A lot of people are amazed of how long Isaiah and I have been together..
I think to the original point of this whole thread of shyness is that you really have to look inside yourself. Listen to your heart and find what you want. Sometimes if you really want something, you should make the action! Life is part of taking challenges!
[This message has been edited by summergoddess (edited 09-26-2003).]