T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 38698
posted 05-01-2010 01:15 AM
Not sure where to put this, but it's mostly a rant about society, so here we are (sorry it's long!).
I ran across this article the other day and was extremely incensed: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1092019/Does-short-haircut-mean-women-gone-sex.html To paraphrase: a short haircut signifies a woman is disinterested in sex. Long hair is better because it "indicates to the male brain a more submissive and available woman." Cutting one's hair always goes hand in hand with significant life changes. Short haircuts are associated with extreme distress or illness, such as "feverish Victorian heroines, shaven-headed asylum inmates or today's chemotherapy patients." "Long hair advertises a desire to attract, even to be dominated." Women who cut their hair short are not looking to attract a man. Long hair "carries a subliminal message to men: ...I am interested in sex." Do people really think this way? I am a girl with very short hair. I spent many years with long hair, but always found girls with short pixie-type cuts quite attractive. I guess I have never understood the allure of hair hanging down around one's face. To me, a fresh face with short hair revealing neck, cheekbones, and ears has always been the prettiest look. So I cut my hair a couple years ago (very short, but still feminine. I was going for Mia Farrow in Rosemary's Baby), and I was shocked to find how many people disagreed with me. I was glowing over my new hair, and got a cold reaction from at least half the people I showed it off to. They blatantly made rude comments like "Wow, I liked it better before" and "It's a little dykey". Even my (now ex) boyfriend was totally turned off by it--he could barely speak to me for a week and after that it took him months to warm back up to me, if he ever really did. On the flip side, I noticed strangers approaching me much more, and people would flirt with me more often than when I had long hair. I expect this was because I was so much more confident and was really rocking a look I enjoyed rather than one everyone else insisted on. The new cut also showed off my face and body and made me feel bold and fresh. But given what I've heard and read about the stigma against short hair, I guess these strangers were in the minority. Since I broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago, I've been told (in pitying tones) that it will be much harder to "find a man" with my short hair (never mind that I also get hit on by cute girls a lot more now too, which I certainly don't mind). Another article I read claimed that "a self-righteous attitude" is the first impression a short haircut makes. What shocks me is that everyone seems to agree that cutting one's hair short is an act of pride, courage, and confident independence, yet they disagree on whether that's a good thing! Why should it be harder to find a man because I have asserted myself and chosen a unique, bold path? Shouldn't that be an attractive quality in a person? And shouldn't women be extremely offended by the concept that long hair proclaims a submissive nature and therefore that's what they should maintain?? I am baffled. I am glad that, according to articles like this, my short haircut means I will not attract men who see me only as a piece of meat. But I have to admit, it's disconcerting to be newly single after a long relationship and hear only horror stories about how short hair means I'm condemned to celibacy until I can grow it out (especially since I refuse to do so!). I wish I could find a few matching articles out there celebrating the beauty and strength of short-haired women. So how do you guys feel about short hair? I understand that some people will feel differently (hair and appearance in general mean different things to different people, I recognize that), but I am curious as to whether I'm in the minority on a progressive/feminist website like this. Also, I know I didn't cover gender/sexuality differences in the long hair/short hair debate, so feel free to chime in in that regard as well. What do you think??
Member # 35831
posted 05-01-2010 05:26 AM
I think it's more important to have a hair cut you feel comfortable with than to have long hair. Mostly, if you feel comfortable with how you look, you will look confident. And I think confidence is a very attractive trait in people.
That said a short hair cut can be really cute I have long hair and I'm way too scared that I would regret it to try out a short hair style.
Member # 41699
posted 05-01-2010 02:32 PM
Wow, talk about generalizations and BULLSH*T, much, eh? I have rather long hair, and I certainly am NOT submissive, nor am I trying to advertise to men that I want sex. No, not even subconsciously. And if anyone were to try to sexually dominate me and then tell me it's because my hair is long so I'm obviously signifying that that's what I want, they'd very definitely get my fist planted in their face with as much force as possible. It's all a bunch of hogwash.
And wow, I'm really sorry you got those horrible reactions from people! Particularly your boyfriend, not talking to you for a week? People who love you should be supportive of whatever decision you make, as long as it makes YOU happy. Your choice of haircut is not about anyone else, nor should anyone dream of telling you what to do with it. And I totally agree, I've always found the short cuts to look very pixyish and attractive on quite a few women (keira knightley and halle berry pictured in that article? They look SMOKIN' with those haircuts!). Though I don't have a preference really - I also find certain women look best with long hair, and some (actually, most) I find attractive either way, it really doesn't matter. I personally would really love to try out a short haircut, but like Mortality, I am too fond of my current locks to cut them off in case I regret it later (though lately I HAVE slowly been cutting it shorter, but a long way to go until the socially-unacceptable short hair). I am also pretty insulted by the having short hair = unattractive. Women are 'deliberately reducing one's attractiveness' by cutting their hair short? That's insulting to those of us who LIKE short hair, like we're mistaken or something? And ignoring the fact that MOST if not ALL women who cut their hair short are not going "yeah, this'll be less attractive, I won't be looked at by men anymore, awesome". I assume that most people who cut their hair any certain way are doing so because THEY LIKE THE LOOK OF IT. Overall just a stupid article, which there are far too many of in the world.
Member # 45771
posted 05-01-2010 08:35 PM
This is an awesome thread, and so connected to my current pursuits it's scary! I'm doing a research project at school right now dealing with long/short hair in men and women. We are trying to find out which haircut on each gender results in higher ratings on intelligence, competence, and aggressive temperament. I will say, after doing a literature review of relevant psychological studies, that there is some evidence that men and women view women with longer hair as more attractive, based solely on a first impression of a picture. BUT, there is also a lot of evidence that our judgments and first impressions based on physical appearance are just plain WRONG! (For instance, attractive people are often given 'positive' characteristics, including being kind or nice or generous, but we all know that physical attractiveness has nothing to do with how generous or kind we are)
Also, just because a 'majority' of people think that a long-haired person is more attractive doesn't mean everyone does! I'm growing my hair out right now, but my fiance prefers it short! He'd rather I always have it in a pixie cut. So clearly, me cutting it short would be the opposite of trying to make myself less attractive to him You really cannot please everyone, as is evident from the fact that half your friends don't like your new haircut but it seems like a lot of strangers do! The best thing to do is try to please yourself, and I'm glad you're loving your 'do! [ 05-01-2010, 08:36 PM: Message edited by: psykins ]
Member # 46867
posted 05-01-2010 11:19 PM
I thought this was interesting, so I looked up long hair on wikipedia and came across this Bible passage (1 Corinthians 11:14-15):
14 Does not the very nature of things teach you that if a man has long hair, it is a disgrace to him, 15 but that if a woman has long hair, it is her glory? For long hair is given to her as a covering. So, just to keep the stereotypes straight, women have long hair for modesty and to signal that they are interested in sex. And Keira Knightley (whom the Daily Mail accused of being anorexic) is consciously trying to make herself less attractive. Uh, okay. I think both long and short hair is beautiful. I keep my hair long, although I don't care for the way it looks on me, because I like the way it feels and because I don't have to worry about getting it cut as much. I don't know if you've seen (500) Days of Summer or not, but the article reminded me of the scene at the beginning (spoilers, I guess) where we learn that Summer is not a romantic, and that after her parents' divorce she loves only two things: "her long, dark hair, and how easily she could cut it off and not feel a thing." It doesn't really impact the movie, since it was a flashback, but I was still shocked to see kid Summer cutting her hair. I think it's weird that hair has such an important meaning for us, particularly because it's something so easily changed and even removed without pain. And it isn't like men naturally have short hair and women naturally have long hair; we all style it one way or another. I thought this blog post about cutting hair was interesting: http://funwithfeminism.blogspot.com/2007/07/your-hair-is-everywhere.html I never knew hair was such a fundamental indicator of my personality. I guess I'll have to start paying attention to how I style it.
Member # 38698
posted 05-02-2010 11:16 AM
Great responses, everyone. I am glad I'm not the only one who found that article offensive.
To clarify, I absolutely think some women look better with long hair (to the surprise of many of my friends, who think I'm a radical short-hair activist or something, lol). Sometimes long hair is good for balancing out certain body/face types. But the bottom line is that hair is just another part of our appearance, and cutting it shouldn't be like cutting off a limb. Existentialplastic, that link was really interesting. I am a little horrified by that story but not too surprised. Women tie up so much self-worth and anxiety in their hair and then they guard it with their life because without it they feel like less of a woman, I guess. I have heard women like that called "scissor-phobic" and I think it's a perfect description. I have a friend who obsessively grows her hair and finds short hair 100% masculine and ugly on girls; when I had very long hair, I mentioned to her that I was cutting a bit of it off to get some more shape (I was going to layer it and such). Her response was "Oh, you mean like half an inch?" ... Now, my hair is curly, so the normal hair-cutting rules are bent for me, but half an inch is still a pretty tiny amount of hair to cut. I have to cut off a few inches to get any visible change with the curl factor. I think I would have laughed in her face if I wasn't so shocked. She felt that anything more than half an inch was way too drastic. Her mom, who is in her 50s, also keeps her hair long, and it would look much better short. Ah, people. For those of you who have thought of cutting your hair short, I know what you mean about worrying you'll regret it. When I had long hair, I wanted short hair so bad, but I was afraid--I honestly wished that someone would just cut it off while I was asleep, or it would get caught in a car door or something, so I could have an excuse to cut it! Eventually I realized I was keeping it long for everyone else, but it was very clear what I wanted to do with it. So I cut it. Was it an easy decision? No. But as for regret: I loved it from the first moment and never stopped loving it. What sucked was the few unpleasant reactions I got from it, particularly my boyfriend's. That still rankles. But it doesn't make me regret the cut--it just makes me mad at these social norms and at people's inability to see past your appearance and look at your strength and character.
Member # 44887
posted 05-02-2010 12:03 PM
Well, I've got long hair, and i've always wanted to try short hair not because of men. I feel like long hair suits me, and if you want short hair then thats what you want. People shouldnt look at you/ judge you if you've got short hair or long hair. Men should like you for who YOU are. Not for what haircut you have.
If you feel like short hair is better for you then go ahead with it! dont try and change that because of a guy! Now, I have always had long hair, and i love long hair! I do want to try out short hair but i really dont want to cut my hair, so people have different opinions! BE HAPPYYY
Member # 46900
posted 05-02-2010 01:11 PM
I have always experimented with different hairstyles, ranging from cropped short to shoulder length hair. As a woman who serves in the Land element of my country's military, my hair has always been styled for function rather than style.
For the summer I chop it off to avoid greasy hair after 30 second showers and the hassle of having to keep my hair in a bun- very annoying when you only have a few minutes to get ready every morning. At the end of the summer, I grow my hair out for the academic year, because pulling my hair back in a ponytail is a staple for a busy student who is very athletic. Headbands are a pain in the butt, as is waking up every morning to short hair sticking in every direction. Anyway that all being said, I feel MUCH sexier with short hair than with long hair. Short hair is so easy to wash and style- no fretting over leaving it down versus doing an up-do. I still love having my hair long, but instead of hmming and hawing over whether I should grow it out or cut it off, I leave it up to my training schedule for the summer! Great article to pick apart and throw tomatoes at. How ludacris some people are. I know psychology is important in everyday life, but it's not THAT simple! haha
Member # 43289
posted 05-02-2010 02:18 PM
I am girl with very short hair and I cut it off after ending a bad relationship. To me, it felt like a fresh start and it was part of the new path I chose for myself. I love my short hair and will definently be keeping it this way for quite sometime. I too had mixed reactions,along with people asking me if I'm a lesbian now (just because of my hair? really guys? c'mon). I find that I also get approached by more men I find attractive with my new hair. I think it's just a confidence thing. When we feel good about ourselves and feel beautiful (no matter what our hair looks like) we're more likely to attract people who see that. I dunno, it's just a thought. Basically, I think it's a bunch of bulls*** when people say that short hair=unattractive to men. And also, I just wouldn't want to be with someone who was only attracted to me because of my hair (or lack thereof).
Member # 46095
posted 05-02-2010 05:24 PM
In eight grade, I cut it my hair to a pixie-cut sort of thing. It was really interesting how as soon as my hair was short, many of my classmates began to assume that I was a lesbian.
I grew my hair out a bit, for no reason in particular, and have had an A-line cut ever since then. I love getting hair cuts and dying my hair, because it makes me feel different and confident. However, my second boyfriend practically told me that he wouldn't find me attractive if I cut my hair again. I was a little irked, but I had to grow my hair out for a play anyways, so I just decided I wouldn't cut it for a while. As soon as we broke up, though, I cut it back to chin length. Another interesting experience was when I got a clip in hair piece for a show. I went from having chin length hair to having hair that went to my shoulder blades, merely by putting it in a pony tail and clipping it in. It was interesting to see people's reactions... generally people who never commented on my appearance would tell me that I was very attractive all of a sudden. Quite odd. It's really interesting though, because I use my hair as a form of expression. If I'm going through a stressful stage in my life, I have the urge to cut off my hair or dye it. I've also found that some women look MUCH better with long hair than with short. And some women look much better with long. But, really... shouldn't it be THEIR choice in the end?
Member # 3
posted 05-03-2010 12:04 PM
What's interesting about this (and in some ways, by interesting, I mean ludicrous) is that more than once, I cut my hair pretty much BECAUSE people THINK things like this.
I grew up mostly with short hair because I was a rough-and-tumble kid with seriously unruly hair that wound up with all kinds of stuff in it my mother just did not want to deal with. But by the time I was in college, I'd grown it all out to around my hips. I kept it that way for several years, but in around 1994, we had a string of over 100-degree days in Chicago. Fans were not cutting it and A/C was a non-option. On top of that, it kept seeming to me that because of my hair, people who didn't know me well seemed to have this constant idea I needed to be rescued or treated as much more femme than I am, and it was earnestly driving me batty. It did also feel like men assumed a level of interest in them I generally did not have and my hair was a draw, one I didn't want. So, both to deal with the heat and...well, to deal with that other kind of heat, I just shaved it off. I'd actually asked the woman who trimmed my hair to do it, and she kept arguing with me about how short to cut it so I had to grab the clippers from her and do it myself. Unbenownst to me, having a mohawk or other similar cuts like I did in jr. high/high school looks very different than having a shaved head. As it turns out, I have a very round head, and look more than a little like a Cabbage Patch Kid with no hair. It also turns out that those places I cracked my head as a kid do, in fact, show when I have no hair. Ah, well. Vanity aside, I LOVED having almost no hair. Of course, it didn't stop me getting hit on (and yes, getting dates with women did get easier than it had been, can't lie), and the men in my life still dug it, but it did stop the rescuing-attitudes (and made that summer feel a lot cooler). Being able to wash my hair with a bar of soap was also righteous, and that feeling very short hair has on your fingers like chicken-fuzz is one of the coolest tactile sensations ever. I'd do it again, but like I said, I'm afraid it just doesn't suit my particular head that well, and if I had anything but a buzz cut, I'd also wind up having to pay for haircuts far more often than I can afford or want to make time for. But too, now that I'm the age I am, I don't tend to get the rescue/femme stuff quite as much as I did anymore, so the problem has kind of solved itself just by getting on in years. The older I get, the more wirey my hair gets, too, so some days I look more ferocious than in need of assistance. I'm glad to see so many of you so pissed off about this. By the way, my most recent ex was bald, and is now dating a woman who shaves her head. They look pretty darn cute together.
Member # 37835
posted 05-03-2010 12:58 PM
I've been really enjoying reading this thread, because honestly, while I've made some drastic hair style changes in my life, I never really thought of my hair in relation to men.
When I was a kid, 10 or 11, I think, I demanded that my hair get chopped really short... and promptly regretted it. I was one of those kids who had the baby fat face and it just looked *awful*. So, I didn't get any significant amount of hair cut off until I was 17. I've got pretty distinctive hair--it's a medium red that used to sun bleach close to blonde on the top layer when I lived in CA and was outdoors constantly. People would ask me where I got such pretty highlights done and I'd just shrug and say "uh, outside?" The hair was beautiful, but in retrospect, having that hair down to the bottom of my hips was a way of hiding a lot of my other features, notably my large breasts. But, when I was 17, I cut off 14+ inches of hair. Mind you, that still left me with shoulder length hair, but the feeling of cutting it off really was liberating. All of a sudden I felt unafraid of having short hair, cutting it, and doing all sorts of stuff I wouldn't have when it was long. I loved not having to take care of my hair. Since then, I have a tendency to grow my hair out for a couple years, get board/frustrated and chop it short again. And repeat. My hair grows super fast, and I admit that I like being able to switch between short and long hair within the space of a year and a half or so. I'm lucky that anything from around the ears to mid back looks good on me at this point (but in retrospect, someone who is as short as I am just should not have hair that's more than two and a half feet long). Interestingly, in all of this hair changing, I find that it's other women who tend to make the most comments about cutting off my hair. My mom, while traumatized by the 14+ inch cut does make comments about how medium length hair can look the most "professional"--that's what she said she learned working as one of the few women in a law firm in the 70s. Except from her, almost all of the women in my life make comments about how they're happy when my hair is long because it makes me look more feminine. I used to get more comments in general about my hair when it was super duper long, though I think I got more attention from men when I cut it because the shorter hair easily made me go from looking like a teenager to a 20-something overnight. These days, I don't put much thought into my hair other than "I should get my hair at least trimmed so it looks better for job interviews."
Member # 20094
posted 05-03-2010 02:01 PM
I really like this thread - great discussion! (And what a completely ridiculous article.) Like atm1, I've never really thought about my hair in relation to how anyone else sees it, although I have had a lot of compliments on it from people of every gender over the years; maybe it's a redhead thing?
Up until about six months ago, my hair had always been really long (I've been a dancer for most of my life, so it usually needed to be up in a bun, and I liked just being able to pull it back and forget about it). Last spring - spring in the southern hemisphere anyways - was ridiculously hot, though, and I decided that since I was no longer dancing as much or performing at all, I'd chop my hair and see if it helped with the heat. I didn't go to a really cropped short pixie cut, but I still lost about a foot of hair, so it's just above my chin and it feels so nice. It's also curlier than I expected, which is kind of a cool surprise, and it's waaaay easier to take care of. Turns out, too, that my partner actually really likes the way short hair looks on women, which I wasn't aware of, but it was fun the first few days after I got it cut and he couldn't resist touching it all the time. The only negative reaction I've gotten has been from my mother, unfortunately, who is always upset any time I do anything to my hair and who almost cried when I told her I'd cut most of it off.
Member # 21100
posted 05-04-2010 01:21 AM
I don't think we need to put much stock in that ridiculous article.
I think how good a certain haircut looks can be sort of judged on a person-by-person basis. Obviously, people look good with different haircuts, long, short, etc. I've never though of short hair as being particularly less feminine. I have very long hair, mainly because I like doing updos, and I have my hair pulled back in a bun most of the time. It's actually similar to having short hair in some ways--my neck and face are very exposed. Rude people tell me that I could have a more flattering hairstyle. I'm sure that's probably true, but I don't exist to decorate someone else's world. It's funny--when you grow out your hair, you get a lot of people telling you that you should cut it. It looks like, from the comments here, that if you cut your hair, you'll get lots of comments from people telling you to grow out your hair. Everyone's a critic, it seems.
Member # 43206
posted 05-04-2010 04:23 AM
quote: a short haircut signifies a woman is disinterested in sex. ....
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *falls over on the ground and rolls around laughing his *** off* No, seriously, I burst out laughing for a good bit upon reading that. IT'S TOTAL BULLSHIT. Humph. yeah, I don't feel like clever arguments, that's just not correct. Long hair and short hair can both be extremely attractive, but generally short hair gets described as 'hot' or 'cute' long hair is more described as 'beautiful' or 'pretty'. Notice they kind of mean the same thing in different ways. Of course however, the most important feature is whether or not the haircut looks good on the particular individual. The ONLY innate difference is that short hair is often taken as tomboyish, probably because we're unconsciously used to seeing short haircuts on boys and long on girls as children. So what I'm saying is, there is no innate difference, sure, maybe for person X, if they cut they're hair short, maybe they do suddenly like like a dykish biker chick, and I look like a 30 year old pedophile if I grow a mustache, that's the breaks. It doesn't mean mustaches or short hair aren't just as attractive as being clean shaven or long haired. Judging by the result of that article, they are just jumping to conclusions based on stereotypes without actually using any kind of reasoned process to come to that answer. (I.e using science as an example, you can't say "Wearing bright orange makes people mad at you!", just because your great gramma said so.) Yakri~
Member # 38698
posted 05-04-2010 10:21 AM
Wow, I didn't expect such a response! This is great. Now anytime I get a lame comment about my hair I can come read this thread and feel all righteous.
Heather, I admit I felt the same way when I cut my hair as far as wanting to flaunt these kinds of stereotypes. In a way, I felt like I wanted to teach the people around me to think in new ways, by stretching their traditional views. I think I am super cute with short hair, so people who believe exclusively in long-haired girls can't very well look at me and say I look -bad-. Weirdly, I think I have taught my boyfriend this lesson, but it took until after we broke up--now that I'm single, I'm putting a bit more effort into my appearance, so every time I see him I think he is shocked by how good I look, lol! And that includes the fact that I cut my hair even shorter a couple months ago (went from ~4 inches long to ~1.5). Hopefully if his next girlfriend cuts her hair, then, he won't have such a hurtful response. I feel better knowing that all of you think that article was crap too. I'm going to law school in the fall, and I'm hoping there are some people there who think like you and will not find my short hair to be the INSTANT TURNOFF it claims to be in the article, haha. Keep the responses coming!
Member # 47022
posted 05-18-2010 03:14 PM
I think that magazine is subtly taking the piss out of those talentless hacks, sorry, "relationship experts", because that article is filled with pictures of amazingly hot short-haired women
I had hair down to my bum all though high school, and got it cut short in college. I got a ton of compliments in when it was short, nothing when it was long. I wouldn't worry to much about it, nobody with a brainstem's falling for this psuedo-scientific codswallop. Just look at the comments at the bottom of the article.
Member # 49061
posted 10-28-2010 03:25 PM
I just got my hair cut into a cute little bob. I love it.
I think at the end of the day, it depends on if that particular cut suits that particular person, and whether or not they feel confident, as you found out, London, when those guys (and girls) were flirting with you. Confidence is very sexy, and while it's petty, simply hacking your hair off is considered a sign of confidence. Long hair on women has definately been made a stereotype, I think, especially in the media. Take Next Top Model - my favourite episode of the series is the makeovers, because all those girls who define their femininity and sexuality through their a**-long hair get it all chopped off. And it looks really, really attractive. Not that long hair is a bad thing! Still, when I was with my ex, he said he wouldn't find me attractive if I cut my hair, which I'd been considering doing for a while. It just made me want to cut it even more!
Member # 50815
posted 12-15-2010 02:55 AM
Oh this debate is fun!
My hair is always in a state of flux (short to long, long to short). I love it short and other people's short hair and I love it really long too. However, I do NOT want to be submissive and I have very much wanted sex when my hair was in a pixie cut. If long hair is submissive.... I want to grow my hair out very long and be fiery an defiant. ;D Haha messing with domineering people is fun. Relationships are a partnership not a master servant relationship. Any man who wants a maid/sex toy can look elsewhere and I'll be glad he did. If that eventually means keeping my hair short than so be it.
Member # 41234
posted 12-15-2010 07:12 AM
I tend to do like atm1. I'll grow my hair out to past my shoulders for a while, and then get tired of dealing with it and chop it off. Right now its right at shoulder length, but I'm planning on getting it cut again soon, because its so much easier to deal with. That article is bullshit. Just because my hair is semi-short, more like medium length really has no meaning at all besides that is just the mood I was in when I got it cut.
[ 12-15-2010, 07:15 AM: Message edited by: samanthamt ]
Member # 48854
posted 12-21-2010 02:06 AM
I used to have issues with my hair when I was younger, it was a pain to brush and shampoo, so my mom cut it. And I hated it! It was awful, horrible, I had cartoony steam pouring from my ears. But my hair stayed no longer than ear-length or so until about three years ago.
At that point, we moved to a new town and I grew out my hair. I could finally put it in a ponytail, or a couple of pigtails like I did for school once (and it looked surprisingly cute, and I got several compliments). It was brilliant! Until I realized that it was getting to be a pain to brush and shampoo again, so my grandma, who was visiting for a while, cut it to neck-length. And then, just a little bit ago, I begged my mom to cut my hair with the razor. The one-inch attachment would do fine, I insisted. She finally cut it, and I spent the next several hours running my hand through my hair, and feeling my neck, which I can now actually see! (I was wierdly happy about that) I don't think I've ever had a relationship between the length of my hair and how attractive or submissive I want to be, but I have tended to change my hairstyle when making a bit of a change. When I moved from the town where I grew up and had been made fun of for years, I began growing it out again. I got it cut once right after graduation, and I've just recently identified as gay. That aside-short hair just suits me better. And I want to buzz it someday, actually. It feels like it would be amazing to be able to actually see my head. (I tend to scratch my itches with ink pens)
Member # 48252
posted 12-22-2010 01:52 AM
wow, what an article. I've had long hair most of my life, it was something i always got comments on. Most of those comments came from people who had a hard time growing their hair out, ie other women. The comments i got from guys, which aren't many, correspond to calling my hair pretty or saying wow you've got a lot of hair. I'm sure i'd get more comments if i did more to make it look nice, but i mostly just put it in a ponytail because it's so time-consuming to make it look "amazing."
As far as it being a sign of "submissiveness" or interest in sex, yeah that's a load of bull. I have several friends who have long hair and none of us are submissive. I also have friends with short hair and they have plenty interest in sex and get it too. I also have a couple friends with short hair who aren't what one would call aggressive. The only reason my boyfriend prefers it long is cuz he thinks it looks nice on me and all the girls in his family have long hair. I like my hair long, though i wouldn't be opposed to getting it trimmed, i just don't like all the work that goes into it. Now, as a great argument against the article, I have a twin. We're not identical, but we look enough alike that people like to insist we are (oh the rant i could go on about people and their irritating assumptions and attempts to force those on us about us being twins). We have both had long hair for years, but she chopped hers off to chin length a few months ago. it has grown out to her shoulders, but the point is she looks wonderful with her hair short. I think she looks better with it short than long, as does her boyfriend. So, since psychology loves the "twin study" model of research and experiments, use us as models to prove a point, that article is crap. Both my sister and i have boyfriends who love our hair, neither of us have ever been "submissive" and i have had my hair long forever and actually only got an interest in sex in the last year. And i'm 19 and in college! Also, i agree with what a lot of people here have been saying. If a hair cut or lack thereof looks good on you and you like it, then wear it proudly! be confident in your style and love the way you look and ignore everyone else. those who matter should be at least ok with letting you be happy and i say defend your right to be happy with your decisions on your appearance. besides, it's quite easy to be changed.
Member # 51221
posted 12-24-2010 04:35 PM
I dont know if any of you heard but recently Emma Watson, who plays Hermionie in Harry Potter, chopped off all of her hair into a sort of pixie style.
http://www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2010/08/05/2010-08-05_emma_watson_haircut_harry_potter_actress_debuts_pixie_do_after_chopping_off_her_.html I feel so bad for her! It's all that the media is talking about in regards to her lately and while it is a drastic change, I feel she deserves to have more talk about her great performance in the last HP movie, or how her college experience is going, or her new movie. Instead they have this terrible fixation on her hair. Whole articles devoted to this one feature of Emma! And besides that, some of the comments I've heard can be unbelievably cruel. She has said that it was really just something she wanted to do because she was under contract for ten years to keep her hair the same way. I just thought it was an interesting thing to bring up and relevant to the conversation. I still think she's stunning btw.
Member # 48854
posted 12-25-2010 01:50 AM
Yeah, I actually heard about it shortly before I cut my own. I think she looks awesome with short hair, it's a really good look for her, and I can understand just wanting to do something different. Having to have long hair for ten years must've been sort of frustrating, since she was about ten or eleven when she got into that contract. During the entire "I want to dye my hair to see how it would look" typical cliche teen stage, she had signed a paper that said she wouldn't.
Member # 51438
posted 12-29-2010 10:11 AM
What a load of crap, although I suppose that's to be expected from the DM... I think what looks good depends entirely on the person really.
Member # 51550
posted 12-31-2010 06:18 AM
I'm a teenage boy, and I completely love short hair on girls. Like, I'm directly attracted to it. And I know I can't possibly be in THAT small of a minority.
Why am I like that though? I think this might help you out even more. I think one reason is because it's unique. Now understand, I'm not even TRYING to go around and preach "be yourself! You're perfect the way you are! Be unique!" because I care about people and their identities (even though I do), I'm literally just attracted to uniqueness, flat-out. In fact, I think I should make a whole thread just for this.
Member # 60602
posted 03-30-2011 02:27 PM
I had short hair, and I'm planning to cut it short again, and I got a few 'dyke' comments and 'it looked better longer', 'you look like a guy' etcetera.
Guys seem to get the same comments when they have long hair, and it really confuses me. It's just hair! It's like a girl wearing jeans, or something. And, despite growing my hair now, I am in no way submissive!
Member # 42492
posted 03-30-2011 06:43 PM
As A kid I had my hair cut up to my ears. I think it looked cute on my at 5, but ever since I hit my teens, I've loved the look of my long hair.
When I was about 15, I decided to grow it out to my hips, but it turned out to be too high maintainace. Now, I keep it layered, with the back about level with my bra-band, and the front a few inches past my collar bone. I don't think I could imagine it any other way. Plus, my hair is quite curly, and tends to get really poufy when it's too short. The interesting thing is, I've seen a lot of people post about the assumptions people make about girls with short hair, but none about how people react to men in long hair. My brother keeps his hair maybe an inch or two past shoulder length, and claims that a lot of people call him gay or tells him he looks like a girl because of it (and he absolutely doesn't- my brother couldn't pass for a girl to save his life). But he loves it long, and I will say I think it suits him. (And on a side note, I WISH long hair on guys would come back in style- I've always found it attractive) Edit: Oops- Just noticed the topic was WOMEN with short hair, and not just a discussion of hair length in general... [ 03-30-2011, 07:17 PM: Message edited by: Atonement ]
Member # 54626
posted 03-31-2011 02:27 AM
quote: Originally posted by A person: I'm a teenage boy, and I completely love short hair on girls. Like, I'm directly attracted to it. And I know I can't possibly be in THAT small of a minority. Fascinating thread.
I'd say tons more but ha! overdue papers and already sleep-deprived. Ahem. I find long hair on women lovely...not to say that short hair isn't cute, but it is often that I form associations with less submissively feminine - stereotypically so - and less delicate than, say, someone with long hair. Of course, this is all generally speaking, but my personal preference is long gorgeous flowing locks. (Rocket was very good-looking, btw, in Sucker Punch.) I quoted A person because my current boyfriend definitely likes girls with short hair. Seeing as how my hair is almost waist-length and we're together now, it's clearly not a make-or-break-it factor in actual relationships, but I'm assuming that asthetically he prefers short-haired girls whereas I prefer them long-haired. It's all a preference thing, really, but I think that we can't deny people have formed associations with each already, and it's hard to break out of those associations. It's grown to be a bit of a snap reaction, and though people can change how they think, subconscious first reactions will probably reveal what the general view of women with short - or long - hair is.
Member # 58449
posted 04-01-2011 11:41 AM
I had shoulder lenghth hair few months back which i just cut very short still feminine.and this new cut really suits me.cut my boyfriend didnt like my new haircut.he said i used to look very mature and attractive when i had long hair.and with short hair i look more like a small girl.actually many guys told me that i look like a small school going girl.but as my hair started going back everyone accepted my new look and they dont think like i still look like a small girl.may be when a girl cuts her hair very short,as everyone around her are not used to her new look they pass such comments.but eventually after few weeks once they get used to new look they start loving it.so i guess its human nature to not accept to change quickly.and there is nothing like boys dont get attracted to girls with short hair.
Member # 85661
posted 11-01-2011 02:52 AM
I think there's a big difference between just short hair and short dyke hair. None of these girls look like boys, so it's a fair guess that they're all straight.
Member # 49582
posted 11-01-2011 05:58 AM
The way in which somebody presents their gender is not the same thing as their sexual orientation.
Plenty of folks present themselves in a gender ambiguous way and identify their orientation as hetrosexual. Just like the many folks who identify as girls and present themselves as girls are who are homosexual.
Member # 68739
posted 11-06-2011 09:20 AM
Hmmm. This is an interesting thread. I live in the south and actually more women than not have shorter hairstyles. I was never sure why that is but it is just a fact. I actually have really long hair that is just a few inches shy of going down to my butt. When I was younger, I used to keep it shorter and around my shoulders but at some point in high school (during a really rebellious time) I grew it out and I have kept it that way for the past 8 or 9 years. My hair means a lot to me and I consider it a part of who I am. I really embrace the attitudes and feeling of the 70s ( I guess you could say hippie) in which women had really long and mostly unruly hair. In my personal opinion, I think long hair is beautiful...IF the person with the hair actually takes care of it. If you aren't willing to care for it (and believe me, it takes a lot of care)then you might as well cut it off because it would look better. Even though I don't prefer it, some girls can pull a short haircut off. I am actually surprised that women get any reaction because of this because I thought just given the time that we live in, most trends and hairstyles are shorter than they used to be so I would think that it isn't a big deal anymore. Everyone has to do (and should do) what they feel they need to do to be themselves. Whether it is vain or not, I am not going to do something to my physical appearance (on purpose) that would make me feel less "pretty" or "confident." I really don't so much care what other people think or say, I just care about how I see myself. It's funny. I have spent a lot of time in my life worrying about how people see me and I would go out of my way to fix my appearance to suit it but at some point, I gave a lot of that up and just fell into my own style. My style is a bit way before my time (honestly I look like I came out of a time machine ) and while some people respond positively to it, others don't. It really doesn't bother me though because I LIKE my look.
So really, if you want short hair, then go for it. All that matters is how it makes you feel. I never thought of hair as being an indicator of your willingness for sex but maybe I am just a bit out of the loop. I personally don't get hit on very often in spite of my long hair. One last note, one thing that makes me love my hair and long hair in general is that there are so many women out there who have lost their hair due to cancer or other illnesses and I would bet a large number of them would love to have their hair back. I feel very blessed to have my hair and that I can make it look nice, it really is a blessing in my eyes. This is one reason I could never cut it off. On the flip side, I guess you could also see having shorter haircuts as an empathetic response to those women as well. No matter what your reasoning is, it is most important to do what makes you feel good about yourself, whether your hair is down to your butt or nonexistent.