T O P I C R E V I E W
Member # 29502
posted 06-28-2006 04:47 PM
My boyfriend of about a year recent came out and told me he was bisexual. I had almost no reaction to it, as I already strongly suspected that he was bi (I am fairly close friends with a guy who claims to be my boyfriend's ex) although I did appreciate that he had the courage to tell me. For a few days, life went on as normal, and one night we were eating dinner with my parents. The subject of gay marriage arose, and I was a little wary because my parents are fairly conservative. However, my boyfriend had absolutely no problem agreeing with their anti-same-sex-marriage views, and in fact, he said (word for word) "Gays and dykes have no right to get married. They're all whiny, they just want attention and they'll never be satisfied with what we let them do. It's the same with gay pride - they just want attention and it's sickening and wrong. They're just lucky we let them be gay in the first place." I assumed he was just saying this to please my parents (although I did feel that he went WAY over the top). But when I asked him about it later, he said that that really was how he felt. I was a little confused and said "Isn't that a little close-minded?" to which he replied "It's okay for me to think like that 'cause I'm bi." Keep in mind, this is the same guy who completely flipped out when some very, very drunk boy at a party called him a f-- for having long hair. I'm just wondering if any one else knows people like this - people who think "It's okay to be prejudiced and against gay rights because I'm gay, but you're not allowed to be prejudiced because you aren't"?
[ 06-28-2006, 04:47 PM: Message edited by: Freyr_Freja ]
Member # 27901
posted 06-28-2006 05:24 PM
I've never met one personally, but I do know that there are plenty of women online who don't believe in women's sufferage or the legal right to abortion and birth control, so this doesn't suprise me all that much.
Member # 29502
posted 06-28-2006 08:40 PM
Thinking about it now, I'm not totally shocked, since they are some nasty hypocrites out there, but I'm still a little angry that he feels this way. However, if I try and tell him that he's being a hypocrite, he says "What do you care about gay rights? You're straight."
Member # 29302
posted 06-28-2006 09:45 PM
that point of veiw makes me so angry. sexual orientation doesn't excuse anyone from the politics that they hold to be true. good for you for questioning him! straight people absolutely can care about gay rights. have you ever heard the term ally? in this context it refers to someone who doesn't identify as gay/lesbian/bisexual but who supports these communities and believes in equal rights. (the term ally can also refer to other minorities too, like a trans-ally refers to a non-transgendered person who supports trans rights)
i'm not going to say that you're boyfriend is an awful person or anything, because he's your boyfriend! but i really don't understand where people with opinions like that are coming from. if it really bothers you, maybe you should ask him about why he feels this way and really try to understand it.
Member # 3
posted 06-28-2006 09:55 PM
You know, being bisexual doesn't necessarily make a person any more compassionate or empathetic.
I'm willing to bet your boyfriend hasn't ever encountered a serious problem from his bisexuality. He's already got more privlege than a woman who is bisexual does, for starters, and if he hasn't had a male partner -- especially one who, say, he wants to walk down the street with, have insurance or children with, what have you...well, chances are good that he doesn't even get the implication of what he's saying/stating yet. Maybe he will in time, maybe he won't. But those issues are a lot bigger, and a lot more loaded than how we wants to wear his hair. Hate to say it, but if what you've posted here are exactly his words, in both posts? Your boyfriend sounds like kind of a creep, period.
Member # 30716
posted 09-12-2006 10:37 AM
There are loads of people like that at my college, which just proves to me that when they say they are "Bi" they obviously/probably aren't and it is actually them looking for attention.
Something to keep in mind with your b/f.
Member # 20094
posted 09-12-2006 10:40 AM
(Hey, Tilly, this topic is almost three months old - please try to stick to current topics when replying; it's highly unlikely the original poster is even reading anymore. Thanks!)
Member # 30716
posted 09-12-2006 10:59 AM
coolness, will do.