Member # 64164
posted 05-04-2011 04:02 PM
I don't mean to diss my own country but it IS awfully difficult to have a straight conversation about sex here.
Folklore informs most of the uneducated people about sex. Young men here are so deprived of sex (because they are sent into 'arranged' marriage in their late 20s and do not have the opportunity to interact with unrelated girls before that) that they stare at a girl who wears daring clothes or carries herself with confidence. In India we have a term called 'leching' - it's almost second nature for us to be walking down a road and be 'leched' or whistled at. Some men try further tricks but we're usually always ready with a hand to slap. The system is so patriarchal it's sick but people are not sympathetic. Girls are told to wear less revealing clothes to minimise the chance of being leched at. Even when schools do have sex-ed programmes those are mostly the kind that put up charts of vague-looking naked humans and initiate discussions about whether one should lose one's virginity before one is ready or not. The unspoken rule here is that premarital sex is wrong. People date, go around, hold hands, do everything in private that they can - BUT, they will not have penetrative sex. I don't want to generalise here but most girls and guys are afraid of losing their virginity before marriage. Even if they do, it will be with a lot of guilt and unhappiness and they'll probably never admit it. It is impossible to buy protection without being stared at or having to answer a million questions. Even in supermarkets. And this applies to both boys and girls. Many men are too shy to go ask for condoms or be seen near the stall. There is only one university in India which has a condom vending machine and that was not replenished after it ran out. It was also a big deal in the media and parents of the 20-24 year olds were furious that the university was promoting promiscuity. I could go on and on. These are things I've been noticing for a long time and I just wondered if anyone else will agree. India is a pretty open and permissive society in general - you can get away with lots of things once you're married - but unusually silent on the sex issue. And I come from one of its most cosmopolitan cities, and if that is the typical trend there I can only imagine what the rest of the country is like.